24, Stopping the Descent into Darkness

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by deadofwinter, Apr 6, 2016.

  1. deadofwinter

    deadofwinter Active Member

    Hey there!
    This is my first post. I think this will really help. Gonna try to post something everyday!

    I'm actually kind of happy with how my NoFap is going: I never binge, but I keep coming back to it every two weeks or so. I'd like it to be completely gone though, especially now that the stuff that pulls me back in is more and more femdomish and stuff.

    I've read some things of guys that ended up completely destroyed by this and this really terrifies me, because that is part of the festish; to totally lose control over oneself and be completely broken.
    That is not something that will make me happy, of course! So I'm going to fight it hard from now on, before I end up like an empty shell, masturbating in the mall wearing a dress (this is actually what some guys ended up like because of this kind of porn :-\ )

    I'm on day 3 now. Any encouragement or help is really appreciated! :)
    Thank you all for this movement and let's go!
     
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2017
  2. GreatE

    GreatE Member

    Good luck my friend!
    Porn can no longer be part of our life.
    Stay strong
     
  3. deadofwinter

    deadofwinter Active Member

    Thanks, friend!
     
  4. deadofwinter

    deadofwinter Active Member

    Day 5 has just begun, in the past this day proved to be kind of challenging.
    I'm not home for the whole day though, as I'm visiting a faraway friend, so I think it's going to be easy.
    But I'm keeping my guards up, I need good awareness to keep out unwanted flashbacks.

    Anyway, thanks to NoFap I'm actually going to enjoy spending the day with a friend! Looking forward to it!
    I hope everyone is still going strong,
    - DoW
     
  5. deadofwinter

    deadofwinter Active Member

    Day 6, yay!
    It's a good feeling to want to get out of bed. It's a good feeling to want to live!
    Also: when I need to get something done, I do it.

    Have a nice day y'all :)
    - DoW
     
  6. deadofwinter

    deadofwinter Active Member

    Day 7!
    Or as some would call it: a week.
    I feel very wise and in control. I do not trick myself into watching anything.

    I guess an important part is: know yourself, especially the parts you don't want to know.
    Powerful stuff.. whatever. The weather is nice and I know this helps too. Being able to hop outside without a thousand coats on feels very good.

    Another thing; when I was down, I used to quietly think of PMO and how nice it would feel and how I could always still do that if the world felt too gray. But I've learned (since my last relapse) that that's a very bad mindset and will eventually lead to relapsing.
    Now, I think about good and healthy things I could do when I'm down, which is much much better.

    Also, with summer coming and me not (!) going to relapse, I was thinking about buying a cruiser skateboard. Might be fun! I used to skate and make friends at certain spots, which was very life-improving.

    Man! This life is really worth living, even the bad parts, as long as I feel like the main actor instead of just a puppet of the universe's evil plan.
    Have a good day and please do something pretty while you can.

    - DoW
     
  7. deadofwinter

    deadofwinter Active Member

    Another thing we/I should remember is to train will power like a muscle.
    For example when I crave a cookie, I'll try not to give in to that urge (or at least not immediately). That way is becomes easier to not give in to P urges too.
     
  8. deadofwinter

    deadofwinter Active Member

    Day 8!, woop woop.
    Some urges while falling asleep last night but I tried to breathe them out like purple colored air (this is what I visualized) and it kind of worked!
    Still in control and very motivated to keep this going. I need make something tangible to remind myself of all the good things it brings, for when the urges are really bad and P feels like the only hope. Maybe write down/draw some nice situations that would've been not-so-nice with PMO.
    Like yesterday, me and my dad went to the snackbar to get some food, when we got home we saw that they forgot to put our french fries in the bag. My dad got upset and stuff and 'refused to go back to the place', but I was like; the weather is nice, the place is like 7 minutes away with my bike.. "I'll get it then". When I got there the girl I asked about the french fries was so nice and she even gave me a free milkshake. Everything felt so good!

    I really don't want to be the guy who gets mad when the snackbar forgets to put something in the bag. Right now, I'm the guy who thinks "nice, another bike ride outside!". I want to rant about watching tv, smoking and taking the car (everything I think my parents do too much) too, but I'll save that for another time when I got it better sorted out in my head. I care for them, but that's why I worry about their comfort-chasing life.
    Anyway. DAY 8! I am going outside and meet a friend at the train station.
    - DoW
     
  9. 100DaysMission

    100DaysMission Active Member

    You go dude!! Sounds like you're smashing it so far!

    I was the same in relapsing every couple of weeks, but then it became binging, so I'm back on the bike with you.

    We got this! Positive thoughts :)
     
  10. deadofwinter

    deadofwinter Active Member

    Thanks much for your motivational message! Best wishes and good luck :)
     
  11. deadofwinter

    deadofwinter Active Member

    Day 9!
    The more challenging side of no PMO has show its face. Last night I was at a gathering with a lot (..a lot!) of pretty girls and I felt kind of frustrated afterwards.
    That frustration turned into a feeling that I lack something, which in turn changed into the thought that I need PMO to fill that hole.

    But I know those are just the mind games and I just need to stick it out. There's also moments of being annoyed by almost everyone and a little aggression.
    It'll all be okay though, because I'm just going to focus on the things I need to do and then go to the gym tonight.

    I should also make a NoFap playlist on my iPod, just in case.

    Good luck, all!
    - DoW
     
  12. deadofwinter

    deadofwinter Active Member

    Day 10!
    Quite busy. No bad urges.
    Talked to some people in the gym last night and got help with my workout instead of listening to music alone.

    It's also so important to keep in mind how things pass. How they come and go. Feel bad now? Okay, deal with it, because it will pass, don't make it worse by escaping into P! (Escaping into making music is kind of what I do for a living so I need to find a healthy balance with that)

    Good luck everyone, it's another very nice day.
    - DoW
     
  13. 100DaysMission

    100DaysMission Active Member

    Yes! That sounds like a good step.
    I'm doing the same with music. I'm a student composer, I've been so much more productive already, writing's part of my daily routine again. What do you do?

    Glad it's going well :)
     
  14. deadofwinter

    deadofwinter Active Member

    Oh cool!
    What kind of music? Or just everything? :)

    I make albums alone (one album and one EP released, and one album is being mastered now) and play them live with a band.
    I'm actually still not sure how NoFap affects my productivity in music. I think I'm more creative but I need music less to face life, which is a weird situation.

    I relapsed a lot of times because I thought nofap destroyed my music. Relapsing never really helped though.
    I do think the writing is more about things happening in life when I'm on nofap, instead of about life itself. Life always felt pretty empty with PMO so the shell was the thing I know better than the things that can happen inside.
    Sorry, I'm rambling. :eek:
     
  15. 100DaysMission

    100DaysMission Active Member

    Contemporary Classical, but it's all notes aint it :) Hope everything keeps on going well your end!

    It's interesting to read your experiences with writing and NoFap. I've found a few things similar (especially needing music less while rebooting), though really when I was at the height of my wanking I didn't get much done. It's so much easier to masturbate than to sit down and come up with ideas. Haha.
     
  16. deadofwinter

    deadofwinter Active Member

    Awesome!
    Yeah you're right. Either way; NoFap is the way to go to live a rich life, and a rich life is much more worth writing about! :)
     
  17. deadofwinter

    deadofwinter Active Member

    Day 11!
    I'm not letting my guards down (very important) but I do think this is getting easier. As long as NoFap is always somewhere on your mind it's going to be okay. Like: see a tiny thumbnail with a sexy girl? You might not want to click on that, and you might want to scroll down or leave the page. Or: hot girl on the street? Okay, you've looked at her and it is nice but don't stare her down 'till you lose your mind and start drooling like a creep. If you're conscious about the things you do and don't do, NoFap might just be quite doable.

    But I'm just on day 11, I'm not a NoFap philosopher in any way, but I do think I'm on the right track.
    I hope your guys are too!
    - DoW
     
  18. deadofwinter

    deadofwinter Active Member

    Was just out to see my (new) friends play their concert. It was so much fun to talk with them and see everyone.
    There were lots of pretty girls which felt kind of frustrating, because I would really really like to get to know all of them. But that didn't happen.

    On the bus ride home I saw a guy who played guitar at my school a long time ago and I kind of wanted to talk with him about music and stuff. But he was with friends so I was like meh it's not really the time. Then they got off the bus and I just thought kay, I'll talk to him now. So I walked towards him and started to talk and wasn't nervous and it was great and I might have made a new friend.

    Okay, to me this feels like a big accomplishment as I've never been able to do such a thing in my 'past life'. Yay.
     
  19. KingJames

    KingJames Member

    Not letting your guard down. That's very important to remember because sometimes urges just blindside you when you least expect them. Keep up the good work!
     
  20. deadofwinter

    deadofwinter Active Member

    Thank you! I see that you're one 24 days, wow! Do you feel like the benefits fade away or do they keep growing? It probably also depends on whether you're actively improving yourself or not/and stepping out of your comfort zone or not.
     

Share This Page