23| Rebooting till my dick gets so hard that i could smash bricks with it

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by K-Dot, Jun 28, 2016.

  1. K-Dot

    K-Dot We gon' be alright!

    Thanks man, hope you'll reach this point too, I see you are doing it well so far
     
  2. K-Dot

    K-Dot We gon' be alright!

    Last night i dreamed about relapsing 2 times, the second time was to Jennifer Lopez's ass video lol. I woke up, while ejaculating in my pants. I was happy it was only a dream. I should start dating again soon
     
  3. K-Dot

    K-Dot We gon' be alright!

    Went to party and run into girl i know we had awkward small talk where we could barely hear each other. I felt really anxious and embarrased after that. Sometimes i feel really confident, but one wrong word or move and suddenly i feel really down
     
  4. K-Dot

    K-Dot We gon' be alright!

    Relapsed, but just to MO, didn't use porn or porn substitutes. I didn't feel any big pleasure, from just MO-ing, only tension relief. I think I will go without it again for a while
     
  5. K-Dot

    K-Dot We gon' be alright!

    Peeked today to instagram photos of one nutrition/fitness female youtuber, fapped for a few seconds and luckly i pulled the brake and started workout 20 mins after
     
    1234dyl likes this.
  6. 1234dyl

    1234dyl Active Member

    You’ve done well to stop yourself but you need to assess now what’s causing your behaviour to creep back into old ways.. before it manifests again as a full relapse
     
  7. K-Dot

    K-Dot We gon' be alright!

    I think the "feeling down moments" are the biggest reason of flirting with a relapse in my case.
     
  8. 1234dyl

    1234dyl Active Member

    Ya I do the exact same. Most of the time I don’t desire porn out of lust but out of desperation and escapism
     
  9. K-Dot

    K-Dot We gon' be alright!

    Need to stop this peeking shit on fb/instagram, when hot pic pop up
     
  10. K-Dot

    K-Dot We gon' be alright!

    I guess I always slip or relapse when i stop writing here to you. I've been on 120 PMO/MO free days but i fucked up once again in March.
    Since my last post, I've had multiple relapses (even 2 or 3 days binging streaks). I was 20 days without PMO and today shortly fapped on pic of a hot cousin of my ex and came in 20 seconds.
    I've been in flatline most of the time, with flashes of libido and every of them lasts really shortly.
    On 11th April i got really drunk in a club and met Pakistani girl, she was cute. I made out with her for 30 minutes without any signs of libido and my dick felt dead.
    That's why I went home earlier, because i wanted to escape situation of taking her somewhere where we can fuck (I was afraid of not being able to preform).
     
    Last edited: Jun 20, 2018
  11. K-Dot

    K-Dot We gon' be alright!

    I also have more urges on pics than porn videos. I think most of MO sessions in my life included pics and imagination while fapping rather than fapping to porn
     
  12. K-Dot

    K-Dot We gon' be alright!

    Day 1

    Hard to be at day 1 over and over again, once you've expirienced day 120+ and 200+, but I am tired of this shit.
    It's not even my biggest problem right now. I need to study for university, but have no motivation. Need to do music, have some motivation, but feel pity when doing that, instead of studying. My father is difficult man, wanting to control everything, he is always creating unnecessary drama. My levels of social anxiety went sky rocket, also.
    My will for life is low also, I'm not saying I want to kill myself, but I feel numb, like i wouldn't give a fuck if I die.
     
  13. Mickeymouse

    Mickeymouse Well-Known Member

    Dint you notice tiredness and fatigue due to PMO when decided to quit it? Did you face fatigue after doing pmo last time?
     
  14. K-Dot

    K-Dot We gon' be alright!

    Yea in 95% cases, especially when binging
     
  15. Mickeymouse

    Mickeymouse Well-Known Member

    What is binging k-dot?
     
  16. Mickeymouse

    Mickeymouse Well-Known Member

    I was getting tired easily back then. I had a face which look tired. I knew something was wrong but don't knew not was the PMO. I lost a lot of hair from head, chest. My pubic region and arm pits used to be filled with hairs previously. But now they feel relatively less dense. Strangely I am on my day 117 of reboot. But most of the symptoms still exist the terrible one being feeling tired despite of having a sleep. Sometimes I can't eve. Sleep. I have no urges to PMO. My pen is is already became very small. My testis hung. They are not tight like they used to be before. I have sunken eyes. My face looks terrible. I get tires even with slightest exertion. My joints and bones crack and pop very often. I m just 20 but have symptoms of an old man. Lower back pain is also there. Whenever I ride bike I have this pain in the left side if lower back. I m become very weak. I need to get rid out of this weakness because I need to get a job formyself since I have to support my family from nxt yr. But with this tiredness I can it find a job. Pls pray for me.


    As you mentioned binging lead to the tiredness. But I really could not recover from the tiredness and fatigue,pains even after 116 days of staying clean. I have to take clonazepam 0.5 mg to fall asleep. My hair has thinned very much. I have low confidence moving around women. There is this constant thought that I look tired and terrible . also my pen is when flaccid looks like not even an inch. The tip doesn't get the blood into it as much as it did 4 yrs back. When I lie down my pennis size is ok. But if I do some work like walking for over 2-3 min. It will reduce its size again . I also the pressure in the chest. Also I have seen this strange thing whenevern I pee after some 2-3 mins I have some leakage. Its surely not precum. I aint sure whether it's water or urine? Did the same thing happened with you?
     
    Last edited: Jun 25, 2018
  17. 1234dyl

    1234dyl Active Member

    Hard to be at day 1 over and over again, once you've expirienced day 120+ and 200+, but I am tired of this shit.
    It's not even my biggest problem right now. I need to study for university, but have no motivation. Need to do music, have some motivation, but feel pity when doing that, instead of studying. My father is difficult man, wanting to control everything, he is always creating unnecessary drama. My levels of social anxiety went sky rocket, also.
    My will for life is low also, I'm not saying I want to kill myself, but I feel numb, like i wouldn't give a fuck if I die.



    Dude I feel this so much. Only difference is I actually did put out some music and it got great reviews. However I’m struggling to get the motivation/ build the blocks to make more good stuff. And I’ve finished uni, ended up smashing it getting top grade boundary, only to lack motivation to do anything with it and I’ve ended up in a rubbish job for almost 6 mo. Again, I don’t feel suicidal but feel crap about living. And yep like you hit over 100 days yet find myself back in the chaos and despair of PMO again. Lol so many parallels.

    We can get out of it though. One step at a time
     
  18. NHRAKevin

    NHRAKevin New Member

    I have been there too many times myself and I know the feeling, but Don't give up, We will get there just got to keep plugging away!
     
  19. Mickeymouse

    Mickeymouse Well-Known Member

    Let's hope we can. It's disgusting for me for not being able to get a good sleep. When I make up my hands and body I feel slightly shake. I m peeing a lot these days .
     
  20. K-Dot

    K-Dot We gon' be alright!

    Thank you for the support brothers.

    Day 17
    Flashes of libido. Ran into the photo of ex girl in bikini few days and it gave me urges. Urges disappeared, but fantasy stayed (about real situations with her). I dont have urge to MO, but to fuck xD. Trying not to fantasize anyway
     

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