23| Rebooting till my dick gets so hard that i could smash bricks with it

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by K-Dot, Jun 28, 2016.

  1. K-Dot

    K-Dot We gon' be alright!

    Day 203

    I played Kool & the Gang album to chill out for a lil bit and the first line on the album wsa literally "I can't get it up".
    God why are you making an ass of me?

    I've realised I'm using alcohol to silent down anxiety in social situations. Sometimes it's hard for me to get comfortable around some people (usually ones who I find important) and I drink a few beers/shots to relax.

    This morning thoughts of never being able to get it up without visual/physical stimulation spiked fear in me, but I've been listening to some hip hop and I feel better now
     
  2. K-Dot

    K-Dot We gon' be alright!

    Day 205

    Last night I had 2 dreams where's my GF included. In the first one we broke up over something stupid and I felt horrible. In the second one we was having sex in a shower and I woke up with a rock hard boner. I was dissapointed it was only a dream, but I felt so happy in it. If i ever pull through this pain and anxiety, I'll make sure to never relapse again, I don't even crave porn/instagram nudes and anything artificial anymore. I'm dreaming of being normal, enjoying sex and not think about will It ger hard and will i satisfy the person i care about. I dream about feeling masculine and full of self confidence again
     
  3. K-Dot

    K-Dot We gon' be alright!

    Day 206

    Making some progress here. My girlfriend visited me at 11:30 AM and we made lunch together. After that we went to bedroom, started making out, she was at the last stage of her period, but she said that she wants me inside of her anyway. I got hard boner while touching her, but lost it during 10 minutes of foreplay. Later she stroked my penis a lil bit until I got erected and we tried to go for a sex. I penetrated with 80-90% erection but ejaculated as soon as making the first stroke. We stopped, I acted cool and we had conversation about porn addiction and random stuff. She is really good person.
    Maybe 30 minutes later, she wanted to give me a BJ and i got 100%, but i sad her to do it slowly and gently, She was giving me a blowjob like that for about 2 minutes and I decided to try vaginal sex again. I've put a condom and penetrated her with 75-85% erection, but sped up when I felt i'll lose it and boom! I was fucking her for about 2 minutes. But unfortunately we heard the door, my sister came back home and we had to stop. Fuck! But I was happy about those 2 minutes. I know I still have work to do and I don't know does this counts as successful sex, but I got some drive for my recovery.
     
  4. K-Dot

    K-Dot We gon' be alright!

    Drunk. Just to post this


    Man i can't believe I have 12 pages in my thread
     
  5. Dude you have to stop relapsing, I will hold you responsible, make it a lifetime goal, simply make it harder to pick up again.
     
  6. Still on the streak?
     
  7. K-Dot

    K-Dot We gon' be alright!

    Yea I am, day 218, last relapse was in June
     
  8. Congrats, sorry for sounding curt, it’s just that your thread was the one that inspired me to do this as you documented the positive effects I am fighting for :)

    Congrats, keep it up ;)
     
  9. K-Dot

    K-Dot We gon' be alright!

    Thanks @Cantbelieve it

    Day 219

    Today I feel dickless, followed by some dark thoughts
     
  10. K-Dot

    K-Dot We gon' be alright!

    Day 220

    Surviving the flatline, the 7th day, feeling dickless and kinda emotionless . I need money really badly, hope someone will come to my home studio to record some vocals
     
  11. Hey KDot, everyday is a day won

    Quick question, do you do Kegel & reverse Kegel exercises?
     
  12. K-Dot

    K-Dot We gon' be alright!

    I tried them for 2 days, but I wasn't sure if I've done them correctly, so i stopped. Why you ask?
     
  13. Because I have a theory that while no PMO does heal the mind, we tend to hold tension in our pc muscles & fapping habits, making them very tight . So we have tight but underdeveloped pc muscles. Kegels strengthens the pc muscle while reverse Kegel allow the muscle to be stretched, it also encourages blood flow.
     
  14. K-Dot

    K-Dot We gon' be alright!

    Can you give me the best source you know on how to properly do those?
     
  15. K-Dot

    K-Dot We gon' be alright!

    Day 223

    Wet dream woke me up at 5 AM(I had one last Saturday also). I'm feeling dickless. I was reminiscing about the days where i could get hard just by being around girls I like and it got me anxious and doubtful will I ever get my dick to work normally again
     
  16. K-Dot

    K-Dot We gon' be alright!

    Day 226

    Last night I had sex with my girl. I was able to last longer, We did missionary for a couple of minutes, than she got on the top for few minutes. I came in a second when i tried to pnetrate her from the back. My erection was not 100%, but was enough to have sex. Second time I needed some stimulation to keep it hard, i got horny from BJ she gave me and I came in a few seconds when i went for sex . It's getting better, but I still have a lot to do
     
  17. K-Dot

    K-Dot We gon' be alright!

    227

    I did not enter a flatline after 2 orgasms yesterday, I actually feel I have a dick, even if i still have boner problems. Today I feel anxious about my future - university, job, relationship. I need to get the shit done
     
  18. K-Dot

    K-Dot We gon' be alright!

    Day 234

    Today I've had some failure & some succes in sex with my girl

    1st try
    Got solid erection from BJ (I even caught some erections without direct stimulation). Penetrated her and came in a seconds

    2nd try
    The most successful try. Needed oral and hand stimulation to get solid erection, we did missionary and we made love for about 5-6 minutes. After that I wanted her on the top, but my boner started to go soft while switcing position. She gave me oral and she went on top and I lasted pretty long for my standards (10-15 minutes, maybe even longer). Later we tried to switch it, but i went soft again. When I got hard again I came as soon as I penetrated her. Erection was solid durig intercouse, but not 100%

    3rd try

    It was impossible for me to stay hard for successful penetration after 2 Os.
     
  19. K-Dot

    K-Dot We gon' be alright!

    Day 242

    This weekend I went outta town with my girl. We had great and loving time. We had sex all night, got some improvement, went soft sometimes, but I'm worried about one thing.
    We had sex without condom for less than a minute and I've put it. Now I'm bit worried and waiting for her to get her period. She told me once that her period is very inconsistent and always late (sometimes 7 days, sometimes even for a month or longer). I went to pee a lot before sex that night, because we drank some beers, so i think there were no sperm in my precum. I'm still paranoid a lil bit, I just needed to flush it out here.

    P.s. I came 5 times that night, I could go longer without losing erection at first 2 tries. I also didn't need physical stimulation to get hard in the first round, improvement is coming. Hope she won't get pregnant though... I love her and I can see her as a mother of my child, but I don't have any consistent income and still need to get my degree, I can't provide right now.
     

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