22 years old, 3 weeks in

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by jkl, Apr 16, 2016.

  1. jkl

    jkl Member

    My history of porn use has been on and off over the years. When I first started watching porn, I didnt masterbate, just watched. It was only until perhaps the 7th or 8th grade when I started to masterbate to porn, then stopped because it wasnt my interest. After a few years off of PMO, I started roughly the 10th grade was at it nearly every other day with only one O. 11th grade is when I started to do it nearly everyday until the present day.

    Over the past few months, I have been PMOing every few days, usually 2-4 day break.

    I am currently three weeks in my reboot, and the 2nd week on wards were hard to not PMO. However, I have been more energetic and quicker in my movements. During the days of PMO, I noticed that I was slower and was tired at the end of the day. Now, after work I still have energy to do activities. I am much more talkative and more of a risk taker. Before, I was scared to do simple tasks that were a little dangerous but nothing extreme such as going on the roof or clean gutters, etc. I also have much stronger erections now. Not entirely 100%, but I would rate it as 80%. Not sure if this is just the early benefits that will turn into a flat line, but I will see what happens. I know it is important to rewire with a human to remove the porn memory, and I am in search now of partner to help speed up the reboot into normal behavior.

    I also have less nightly urination needs, as well as less dandruff, nearly all gone. During my PMO, I had bad dandruff and its good that it stopped with the lack of PMO.
    I have noticed that its the porn use that causes much of the problems. Much more frequent erections now, even when I just scratch my penis, even a light touch, I get an erection. I would assume this is great progress. I have also been forgetting little things lately. Perhaps this is just the brain fog that many people comment on.
     
  2. DareToShine

    DareToShine New Member

    Hi jkl,
    I'm 21 and am just starting this thing. Your story is pretty similar to mine. I'm having trouble breaking the 1 week let alone 3 week barrier. I'm really impressed that you've managed to get this far. Do you have any tips for a newbie?
     
  3. jkl

    jkl Member

    What I have done was to PMO less often. Taking a day break, then two, then so forth. Going cold turkey may be a big challenge, and it is, but doing it incrementally is a good option to help lessen the urges associated with PMO. Being able to eventually get to a time frame of one week without PMO should be an indicator that you are able to extend your streak. Also, it can be beneficial to not focus too much on a no-PMO streak, but instead to set short term goals such as one week at first. Setting a goal of 90 days, 120 days, etc. might discourage you into thinking that such a time period is too much to overcome. You should also find reasons of why you want to quit PMO. PIED is probably one of the bigger reasons, but for me, the feeling after orgasms/ejaculation is a bad feeling, especially during porn.

    As for an update of my progress, my cheeks up to my temple have been slightly red for a while, not such if it is PMO related, but there has been a decrease in redness. The 90 day mark also happens to be close to my birthday, so I will use that as a goal to reach.
     
  4. jkl

    jkl Member

    Last week I relapsed. It was to porn pictures though, so perhaps damage wasnt as severe as if it were a video. I am currently on day 6 of the reboot. So far there have been no urges to PMO. I also didnt experience any erections during the past 6 days. Before my latest relapse it took about 2-3 weeks to get some random erections and morning erections, so I will wait and see how long it will take this time.
     
  5. jkl

    jkl Member

    PMO'ed not too long ago to pictures instead of video. I have been able to masterbate without porn or fantasy as well. I have also been drinking much more water, about 3-4 liters every day for nearly two weeks now and my skin tone did even out. It may have been dehydration. My dandruff also got better. Just have to work harder now.
     
  6. jkl

    jkl Member

    This is an update since my last post.

    I have relapsed quite a few times since then. Later on today, it will be 6 days since my last PMO. I am currently doing breathing exercises when I have the urge to PMO. It seems to help, but I have not had any stronge urges the last 6 days like I have had the previous times. I have also only PMO'ed once a week during that time on average, with my last pmo at the 4th day of the previous relpase. Doing deep breathing does seem to help transfer some of the urges away, possibly shifting the energy throughout the body for later use. I will continue to do the breathing exercises when such urges occur, but the urges have been at a minimum for now. I have not seen any real changes as of yet, except for more morning erections, but those are not quite strong and are sporadic on some mornings. I do have more random erections at times, especially when there is light touch and from different sitting positions where there may be more pressure.

    I have debated about PIED to others in an online format. Some claim that there is no connection between porn and PIED. Their main argument was that there is no scientific proof that PIED is actually true or not. Even seeing many stories about people fixing their ED and other conditions. When I also state that I quit PMO, people find that impossible for some reason. Many people, atleast males in the modern day, dont seem to be able to quit pmo and find that it is unhuman to not pmo. I suppose people who have not fallen vitim to pmo addiction dont understand.
     
  7. YellowMinion

    YellowMinion Member

    When I started, I think I made it 1 week. Then 2 weeks. Then 3. Then 6. You're trying and that's important. Don't get discouraged that you can't just quit cold turkey. I remember how easy it sounded but how hard it was in reality.

    I am married and tried to increase and maintain regular sex during that time (with ED drugs which worked) to avoid any desire for PMO so that's one thing that's different for me. I don't know if that made it easier or worse for me. Easier in that I felt like I could try to substitute sex for PMO. I think that may have helped.
    But that it didn't really stop the urges. I know that after having sex with her, I'd have unbelievably strong urges to PMO a few hours later because sex isn't the same. My brain/body was still craving that PMO reward. I do remember thinking that there was no way in hell I could quit porn if I was single without a sex partner and felt thankful that I had one. In retrospect, I could have done it if I just switched to MO without P, and tried to reduce the frequency as much as possible.

    One thing I might recommend early on is that you try to MO instead of PMO. Even if you have to use some fantasy to get there initially, it's better than watching the stuff to get off. It may actually get you some relief long enough to avoid temptation. It won't be satisfying in the same way and you may feel like crap after doing it, but it may take the edge off and keep you away. Keep doing that as rarely as necessary and it should get better over time. When you do feel "horny" or the urges, try to resist for a while before giving in. Eventually might might get better at it. It sound like you've had some success.

    About PIED... I'm right there with you. I don't know if I really buy into it completely. What I do know unequivocally is that PMO is not healthy regardless of whether or not it results in ED. There are negative results on my personalty, my relationship and sex life, and motivation. It's just bad and it's worth quitting.

    I can also tell you that my arousal with my wife is much stronger now that I quit (I'm 1 year since I started,) so there has to be some truth. Yesterday she said, "I'll thank you later" and I got hard! Just the suggestion of sex later got me 100%. I remember a few months ago she just took her clothes off, jumped on the bed, and I got hard instantly. At that moment I remember thinking "that wouldn't have got me hard before, but now it does." Our sex life got better because I get turned on easier with her. I do use some ED meds from time to time to help (mostly with making sure I stay hard long enough and with self-confidence,) but it's not actually necessary anymore. I do just fine without them.

    You're about two months in and that's great. Right around 4 months I was able to take a 22 day break from from any and all orgasms. That streak was broken when my wife wanted to have sex and when we did I experienced an orgasm more intense than I can remember in 20 years. I hope that's not TMI. My point is that giving my dopamine and androgen receptors a nice long break helped them become really sensitive in a big way.

    After that 22 day break, I felt like I had really gone over the hemp. Prior to that I felt gradual recovery, but after that break I felt like I had really moved on. So when you're ready, give yourself that month long break.

    You can do it, and you know you need to.
     
  8. jkl

    jkl Member

    Yesterday I did have strong urges to pmo at the evening and night times. I did my breathing exercises and lost the urges. I did have a wet dream last night, logged the time of dream and the last time I pmoed. I'll try to see if there is any correlation between time of pmo to wet dreams, but im not sure if it is actually possible. I did have a strong urge to pmo and it could have been my body just releasing what it had. This could have been my first wet dream. I dont remember any previous wet dreams. This morning I did have long erections, about 10-15 mins.

    I have also been thinking about whether or not circumcision has an affect on sensitization from pmo addiction. It would seem that circumcised men would have a much more desensitized brain and feeling because of the lack of foreskin helping and lubricated the gland. Just something interesting when I was thinking about it the past few days.
     
  9. jkl

    jkl Member

    @YellowMinion

    I did do a gradual recovery. PMOing once a week to help smooth into a no pmo lifestyle. The breathing exercises do help shift the urges and energy away, so I will continue to do that. I also took motivation from some movies about native tribes in the Amazon. Those movies are considered horror movies, but I find that those natives are living fine without pmo and they dont seem to have any of the problems that many pmo addicts experience. If anyone wants to know these movies titles, ask and I'll post the titles on here. I also experience erections with very light touch now, so im taking that as progress. I was also thinking about my pmo addiction and when I started. The first time when I saw any type of porn is when was I fairly young, perhaps 12-13, but I didnt masterbate to it. Then I remember when in 7th or 8th grade, my classmates were talking about masterbating and ejaculating. I wasnt even interested in it at the time. When the real addiction started could have been 9th grade with once in a while pmo (once a month perhaps) or 10th grade. I remember 10th grade is when I really started to get into it on a near daily basis. I would have been 15-16 at the time, so roughly 8 years of addiction. That is quite a bit of time, but I did have breaks at times of pmo of one to a few days or so for some time as well.
     
  10. jkl

    jkl Member

    Today I have had the feeling that I relapsed, but I didnt. Not sure why. It will be 9 days since my last pmo in a few hours. I also didnt have morning erections and no urge to pmo today.
     
  11. jkl

    jkl Member

    I had virtually no urges to pmo or have any sexual encounters for the past few days. Not sure if this is a flatline since many people seem to have different symptoms of their flatline. Soon it will be 10 days from my last pmo and the days are a lot easier when I am not mad that I pmoed and the guilt and shame are no longer keeping me at bay.
     
  12. YellowMinion

    YellowMinion Member

    I think flatline is really when you just never get boners anymore for any reason. Some guys who are used to getting them at night no longer get them. They also can't get them from women. You feel sexually broken (at last I think that's what flatline means.) But lack of urges isn't flatline. That's actually you returning to normal.

    What you're feeling is the break from addiction. During the PMO addiction, your brain is telling you're horny or want to watch porn and it's just trying to get that dopamine fix from the PMO (aka the urges.) It's at this point I start to feel my mood stabilize, I become less emotional, and I just stop obsessing about sex at all. It becomes a "when it happens it happens" kind of thing.
    My analogy: Craving a crappy cup of coffee. You think the crappy cup of coffee isn't bad or is actually kind of good, but it's just to get that caffiene fix and your brain has that direct association with tasting that crappy coffee and getting it's fix. Break that caffeine addiction and you really don't crave coffee anymore. You'd probably wonder why you drank that crap once you break the addiction. You just don't want coffee period. Decafe becomes (literally) a "why bother" drink.

    So I keep hearing about 2-3 weeks to break an addiction. You're at 2 weeks and you're over the hump. Your cravings are gone and you're no longer obsessing about sex. This is good. You're on your way. There are months of recovery to come, but for now you've hit that most important milestone.
    It's important right not to try not to relapse. It won't be the end of the world, but it will just mess with your brain chemistry and encourage you to slide back.

    Question, are you MO'ing without P at all, or are you trying to not have any O at all right now?

    I think that in the beginning, maybe the first 3-4 weeks it helps to have no O or MO at all if you can.
     
  13. jkl

    jkl Member

    Perhaps I am sexually broken at the moment. I had pretty much no random erections for the past week. When I do see attractive women, I dont imagine myself having sex with them, but I do admire their appearances but there is nothing sexual during those times.

    During the past 2 weeks, I had no porn, masterbation, or orgasm. There has been a wet dream on day 6 and from roughly day 4 to 6 I had big urges to pmo. After the wet dream I did want to have an orgasm again, but after that there was virtually no urges for either porn, masterbation, or orgasm. I remember during my last few attempts at quitting pmo, I could only last for about 4-7 days. The porn used were mostly pictures and it was not as extreme as video porn. Not sure if it was the gradual eliminatation but it could be a factor.
     
  14. YellowMinion

    YellowMinion Member

    Maybe it's me, but isn't that a good thing, not having random erections?
    I think that's a result of not having that stimulation. Your brain and body is no longer conditioned for the habitual fun you've been giving it. It's normalizing to a normal "want to have sex once in a while to perpetuate the sepcies" mode.
    Yes, it's a bit of a bummer to not get wood when you see a hot chick, but I think over time you're going to react appropriately to them.

    Don't mistaken lack of random urges and lack or random erections as broken. Think of that as normal recovery.

    Maybe I'm way off on this, but I kind of enjoy not being a slave to my dick and urges. The important thing is whether or not you get horny when you're with a woman which sadly you can't determine unless you have a woman to try with with.

    I guess there is concern when there seems to be no libido at all. I know I got freaked out at first and started popping suppliments trying to get that going (and it may have worked) but what happened is that when I couldn't get sex, I wanted to MO or PMO and that was counterproductive.

    Am I making sense?
     
  15. jkl

    jkl Member

    It has been 14 days since my last pmo. I did notice that my head isnt itchy like it has been in the past. I had severe dandruff and itchy head for the past few years and even the anti-dandruff shampoos were not that effective. I feel pretty much the same thoughout the week, but I do talk more and make jobs to help with the social issues that I have.
     
  16. jkl

    jkl Member

    I am now at 16 days with no pmo. No urges or temptations to pmo as well. I also went to a party today, arrived fashionably late, but it appeared that I came too late because nearly everyone already left to go to other parties or home.
     
  17. jkl

    jkl Member

    21 days now. I find that there is no need to pmo, and when I do have some urges I just remind myself of the feeling afterwards. It also appears that my dandruff is nearly gone. My head doesnt itch anymore when I do physical work like before. I did experiment whether or not head itchiness and masterbation (pmo may be included) had any correlation. The next day after orgasm I have had head itchiness. At least for me, there is a connection between orgasm and dandruff.
     
  18. jkl

    jkl Member

    Had massive morning erections. Even the friction from my blanket caused an erection. The slightest touches even put that feeling that eventually leads to the orgasm so I quickly removed anything that may come in contact. The erections were also very hard, the hardest so far. Currently on day 22.
     
  19. jkl

    jkl Member

    I MO'ed last night so ill reset my counter since the days after a relapse are the most fun to deal with. This was also experimental, to see whether or not there is a strong correlation between all of the claims that we see people experiencing and what is an illusion.
    I did feel disappointed after the orgasm, but on the next day I feel fine. Nothing significant in terms of lifestyle actually changed. No next day drowsiness, guilt, shame, or low quality of life. The effects of pmo might just be a daily thing, whereas if done once a month the damages are minimal, perhaps negligible. Much of the things see associate with pmo might be psychological and not physical. We all see the claim that there is increased confidence when quitting pmo. This may be true, but is it truly from abstaining from all aspects of PMO? Or is it a confidence boost that we experience when we see we have a long streak of no pmo and feel good about ourselves? Sure, having a long streak makes us feel good about our accomplishments, but so does winning a tournament. People associate sports with higher self-confidence, so maintaining a long streak can be viewed as winning at a sport, making us believe that we have the ability to do something from our own determination and hard work.
    It is important for all of us dealing with pmo to reflect on what it actually means, does, and what all of this leads to and reflect on our own selves. Are all of these things truly created by no pmo, or just psychological since we associate ourselves with the other success stories.
    I have seen many threads about people thinking there must be some type of force created by quitting pmo that attracts women. The cashier who greets you must be from quitting pmo. The woman walking down the street makes eye contact with you, being another passerby on the street, that must be from quitting pmo. These thoughts most likely arise from the fact that many of us reverted to pmo instead of socializing with girls. Many of us are behind in social skills compared to others who didnt fall victim to pmo. The same way drug addicts have strange behavior while under the influence, we too have strange behaviors due to our pmo use. We have to admit that we suffered from a lack and loss of social skills because we always turned to pmo to gain the same satisfaction that we see between the people in porn, but the satisfaction that we get is solely from ourselves, not with others. This is what leads to our lack of confidence, ability to maintain meaningful conversations, and general happiness. We see that two or more other people in a porn scene orgasm together, but we orgasm to only ourselves. We realize that we are unable to talk to girls, unable to notice the signs that girls give us, unable to approach a girl, because we are overly associated with the fact that pmo is less work for us than having the desire to talking to girls. This is the whole confidence argument that we often see; quitting pmo all of the sudden gives us increased confidence because we, genetically, are the ones who approach girls to fulfill our desires and needs.
    Is pmo the prime cause for all of our problems? Perhaps. But in the end, it is always us who fall into temptation to pmo, thus making us our own problems.
     
  20. YellowMinion

    YellowMinion Member

    You makes some great observations.

    Does the occasional PMO have negligible damage? Perhaps. I think the longer it has been since you "quit" the less of a problem it is. I think it's a problem in the early months, though. If you're 6-12 months in and you've effectively recovered and are "normal" then I doubt a PMO once in a while is doing much damage. The problem as I've discovered, is that it makes it very tempting to fall back into addiction. I mean that after a day or two you have that "thirst" to PMO again so you do, which just feeds the dopamine addiction making it worse and before you know it, you can't stop. The longer you go without, the longer your brain and body forgets what that fix feels like.
    And that fix is different than sex. Sex can't satisfy that urge. I can have that urge, have sex, and a few hours later still have that thirst to PMO because it's a totally different thing to the body and brain. PMO awakens that old urge for more PMO that I'd forgotten all about.
    So like any drug or alcohol addict, the danger is taking that one taste which can draw you right back in.

    But if you're normal/recovered, no a PMO once in a while isn't going to bring on sudden ED. That being said, my observation is that it does kind of destroy me for having sex with a woman for about 24-48 hours. So if I think I'll have sex in the next 3 days, the worst thing I can do is PMO.

    Without any PMO, I have a normal healthy libido which is totally different. I want sex a couple times a week (I'm married) and I can go about 10 days before my body is physically asking for something to happen. In that case I should have sex, or MO without P (to get relief) if I have to.

    The guilt and regret comes from immediately after, I feel like it wasn't worth it. I don't feel great, and it seemed unnecessary. Now I've done it and have to worry about not doing it again.

    As for psychological and physiological effects.
    I used to link to this article a lot. They took it down and replaced it with something else but it's still in the wayback machine:
    https://web.archive.org/web/20150315033329/http://anabolicmen.com/how-internet-porn-makes-you-less-of-a-man/
    Maybe it was removed because it has factual inaccuracies, but I found it to be enlightening nonetheless.

    Psychologically, I know when I was hopelessly addicted to PMO, I couldn't look at a woman of nearly any legal age without thinking of them sexually. I remember thinking I might have sex with just about anybody, even some that I'd normally consider unattractive. They were all just walking vaginas to me. Women can feel that creepiness. They don't know what you're thinking, but they can feel the desperation and they can feel that you're not connecting with them.
    Post porn, you don't look at them sexually. They're just human beings and women are drawn to men that frankly seem uninterested in them.
    You know how when you get dumped, you seem radioactive to women? They can smell the desperation. But when you're attached it seems like you constantly meet women that are available and interested in you. You're confident and unavailable. I'll use that as an analogy to the same level of desperation vs. confidence when you're on vs off of porn.

    The longer you go without porn, the more you forget about the unrealistic artificial slutiness and easiness of women portrayed in them and just connect with them as humans, which is what they all apparently want.

    So, I wouldn't just resort to thinking I can PMO once a month and be fine. I think the goal is to never do it again. But if you do give in, then really try to make it at least a month before you do again. It's a slippery slope. Try to do MO without P instead if you need relief. If you're still in the initial moths of recovery, really just see how long you can go and see if that's 3-6 months.

    I think the damage done matters how long you make the session. If you use it for 10 minutes to get off and really do keep it to once a month, I think the damage is minimal. If you go for an hour+ long binge, it's going to mess you up.

    In general, though, whenever I do, I'm reminded that I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to be a slave to this crap. It's not unlike that hangover after drinking that reminds you why you don't get drunk every weekend anymore, yet sometimes we just forget. The longer it has been without and the better I feel, the more it seems like no big deal so that when I do view porn, I'm unprepared for the result.
     

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