22 year old fighting pmo prev-Odyssey of a 20 yr old.( Regular update)daywise journey

I relapsed on Sunday as well. I got some temptation in the night as well but somehow managed to run away from them.target is to not do today.

 

Mickey did clonazepam, other anti depressants helped you in improving mood or sleeping well or anything?
Also how is your work going? Do you feel fatigued and tired when doing work as well?

 

I relapsed again. In the morning I got a desire and I fell for it. Till I was done with my work I did not had any temptations. While going for sleep I again developed temptation and fell for it again. Forgiveness again is the only option. Oh Allah please give me strength and help me overcome this. I am sorry I make promise and break them.

 

Not on any meds as of now. I am not thinking about it much.

 

Having been relapsing quite a lot. I was not feeling well so took a leave. And then again relapsed. Sole purpose of leave is destroyed. I ask forgiveness again. I ask for repentance. I will watch some good videos now to compensate. Some religious stuff.

 

Relapsing a lot. Have issues in home. My sister is a psych patient and mom has depression and anxiety. I cannot solely blame them for my situation. But I get so tensed when my sister screams like a maniac and her screams can be heard in the lane where we live. I get super upset whenever this happens and feel like sitting inside the home and not going outside. Anyhow will start a new PMO streak tommorow. Missed my night prayer because of the sin again. Inshallah shall do it this time.

 

Relapsed yesterday as well. I am relapsing a lot. Will have to guard myself and thoughts. Ask for repentance and start again.

 

Looks like you are stuck in a pattern.

Need to break this routine / pattern you are in.

Tip: try to use this journal as an outlet and also a place to give gratitude.

Not just a place to document relapses.

Gratitude and self compassion can be very helpful. I do think you need to disrupt the pattern you are in right now though. Try and get creative, with access to your tech, your sleeping arrangement etc. Make some changes and see if it helps!

Goodluck!

 

Yeah!

Relapsed this morning as well. Felt like doing it now as well and hence came on the forum.

 

ya I have had days like that.

where you just accept the relapse or premeditate it.

talk therapy with a great counsellor has helped me the most in understanding why I use P and what I’m coping or avoiding with it. Really helps break your patterns. Then finding the motivation to say goodbye to P forever.

don’t give up dig inside and find that motivation!

 

I did the thing this morning again. Later in the night saw a video of a man who migrated to America and was standing on the street waiting for a friend a man drove in the wrong way hit him and crushed him to death. Life is so uncertain. I was wondering what I wud think in those last moments of life. I am so guilty of my sins. I repent I do it again. Let's hope this time I avoid as much I can. For sure I am not going to relapse in the night having the memories of his relatives back in India crying. May Allah guide me to right path.

 

I relapsed again. A lot in the last 15 days. I just feel because of my sinning Allah might end up punishing me. I might be left behind in some or the other way. Time for repentence again and asking forgiveness.

 

Deactivated facebook perhaps from there I was getting this urges. But let's hope I really catch hold of anything wrong that I might do this week. Inshallah Allah shall be helping me with this.

 

Yet again relapsed. I felt nice yesterday after I watched a religious talk that helped with anxiety. But still I did the thing again today. Nevertheless will try again perhaps I shud have performed my isha prayers and I could have actually avoided the thought. It was boredom that took me there I think.

 

Relapsed.



Not going to fall again today. Lete hope Allah shall help in this difficult time. Ameen.

 

Relapsed.


Inshallah not again. The best way to defeat this addiction is to not fret about it. I will probably not care about very specific details and let things turn on their own. Just promptness with namaz and good thoughts and I will put the rest on allah. Inshallah he shall manage the rest.

 

Best advice I can give is don't get particular or obsessive with every little change. Just chill take rest think about more imp tasks. The moment of got a job I kept myself busy and could avoid all this clutter.

Inshallah you all will also defeat.

Just remember it's not a destination . It will always be journey. You will fail and that's allowed.

 

Relapsed.

Need to repent and get back in schedule.

Weekends I am relapsing. Need to keep myself busy.

 

Relapsed again.

Finished the work early and again ended up doing the same. Those 5 mins of temptation is the only key to control myself and not getting into the act. Later after doing it. I feel bad craving for food and end up sending crazy on junk food. I cud see a poor kid who actually works on a small food outlet sitting outside the shop at 11.30 as his shop owner closed it the amount of money I spent on the junk would be his entire day's earning. Feels so unjust that I do all of this and that poor kid is struggling to make his ends meet. Let's gain some positive inspiration and defeat this. I am really sorry Allah. Please be with me and guide on the rite path. One week target of not doing the thing. Inshallah.

 

so true, after relapse such depressive thoughts do occur. I have been their several times.
But here you can imagine or thought so that this kid might also be enjoying sitting outside the shop.