22 year old fighting pmo prev-Odyssey of a 20 yr old.( Regular update)daywise journey

I m genuinely crying while writing this. I want to end my life. Life has no purpose for me. This shit of PMO has left me to be nothing. I m an dumb head. I am sorry for letting down the expectations of my parents. They didnt expect anything much they want me to be good in my life. But I know I cannot. I just want to quit everything, go into wilds. I am sick of myself. A 20 yr old looking a 30 yr old is a huge embarrassment.

Sorry for letting you down APA.
Thank you McGregor,APA you tried your bit. God is not happy with me. Had he been he would have shown little help for me.

Allahafiz.

 

They interviewed people who attempted suicide by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge and survived. You know what they all said? As soon as they jumped, they regret it.

 

God made you for something. He does nothing without reason. Suicide is never NEVER the solution for a temporary problem.

 

Have many Vietnamese friends who look like 40 years old, at the age of 22. And you know what ? They give a shit about it an Rock there life’s. Sometimes I blame myself for such little things. Don’t have this, don’t have this ...
Look around you. They are so much people with bad deseases, damages through accidents etc. AND they are happy

 

Thousands of people have gone through much worse circumstances as you. And they did it all by the mind and willpower. You can achieve everything and if you start to improve your health and habits step by step you will change your life too. You will find yourself and accept yourself. And you know what comes after this. You will get HAPPY!

 

God gives you all the help you need. He let you wake up every morning. Now it’s your turn to get things right. Go and google about healthy diet, meditation, continue this light stretching and fitness exercises. You will rock this. Life has joy for you. You just have to discover it!

 

Thank you McGregor. I really needed this someone talking to me. I would be overwhelmed if you could my audience and help me gain all that motivation. I just felt sad when my dad was trying his bandage( he has frozen shoulder ) when I was trying him that. Even I felt some pain in my back. I regret all this. They expect me to take over all his responsibility atleast in the next 2 yrs. But how will I be able to with so weakness. This thing always juggles into my mind. And also my pennis have shrunken. My testis lie sagging. I am afraid will this be permanent.

 

McGregor I must tell you. If you are not able to quit the pmo. Just take my story as an example. I never felt that pmo was doing harm to me. You might be athletic now but sooner when you become an addict you shall be loosing all the confidence. I wish someone could have just said me that 2 yrs back and I could have been better.

 

I will give my best. Don’t be afraid when I can’t text back every time because I am very busy these days. Writing my bachelor thesis. You will manage this. You will take the responsibility and you can be proud to help your family in this way. Just go step by step and success will come. Don’t be afraid about your dick. It’s normal that the penis is shrunken sometimes. Sometimes I am wondering omg it looks like there ist only skin hahaha. But that’s normal. In other days it looks quite big especially when fully erected. You should stop to overthink every thing about your body. Focus inter important things. Do it like the Pareto principle. You stayed in your No PMO streak for much longer than my current streak. Through this time the body goes through extreme changes. The addiction will tell you like : oh there’s something wrong downstairs, go and try porn to try it out. Don’t take this trap. I will give you the link to a very motivational success story. Keep in mind. Many people have rewired and reboot there brains. Some started in an mich worse position than you. Now it’s you against your comfort zone!

 

Bro thank you but I already know this. Never knew about the whole nofap thing. But it made perfect sense for me. I also suffered from PIED and I am far away from 100% healed but things get better!

 

Without even know about noFap I started rewiring my brain with my ex gf by practice. Real feelings. Real touching. Real sensation. But this didn’t healed everything because I continued PMO the whole time and wasn’t aware about the reason for the this problem.

 

I would wish that for myself too. They should have said it to me mi h earlier. Started PMO at the age of 12-13. but you know what. We can’t change the past.But we can change the present. And the present will change our future. Let’s be thankful that there are so much people who gives us all the information we need to beat this shit an improve our lives. The only thing we have to do ist to follow these rules

 

I m glad McGregor you replied. Thank you for all the support.

 

One of my cousins just met with a minor accident. It appears to be a ligament injury. I just thought myself to be at his place. I simply could not think if I would even be able to recover. I feel like I have become very weak physically. Moreover I am not even having sleep properly. My back and abdomen pains with slight strains. There are some recently developed lines on my fingertips and palms. Despite taking the homeopathy mediation I am falling asleep but again waking up suddenly at 2 A.M in the night. I generally sleep at 10.45p.m. anybody else who faced this thing?

 

I wake up 5-8 times nearly every night. Trying to fix that. Reduce use of mobile phone, laptop, dark room, meditation etc

 

Hey McGregor. I again lost on day 4 today. Actually I was upset since morning with that will I be able to recover thing. And after sleeping for an hour. I thought of trying to see whether my pennis is functional or not. I had to search for some never seen genres of porn. And after watching them I had to use to my hand to rub my pennis so that it becomes erect. I could not maintain an erection if I didn't use my hand in between. Is this PIED or ED due to depression. Moreover I have consulted one of psychiatrist he believed I was facing depression due to the fact that I was much worried about my loosing hair. Know the first thing that I must resolve is the sleep. So would you recommend me getting back to anti depressants and sleep inducing pills instead of homeopathy medicines?

 

Also after doing PMO today my fingers are having burning sensation. And I have noticed that there is some sticky transparent substance that leakes after I take bath. Also my back aches after ironing clothes in the morning before I leave for clg. Driving my motorbike has become a hell of a task. After reaching clg I really feel like tired. In evening classes I cannot concentrate.

 

Then are you not tired for the rest of the day?

 

Oh, i know this situation. Took this trap a few times too. It could be a mixture of both. Depression is a Hard thing, but every one can beat this. I think you have to stop worry about : is my dick work ? Is my dick work? It is for sure, just deal with your other problems first and let your body recover itself.

 

I am no dr, I can not give you a professional advice. From my point of you, I would try everything before taking those „drugs“