22 y/o...PMO for way too long

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by Letscrackthis, Sep 18, 2013.

  1. Letscrackthis

    Letscrackthis "He is not here, for he has risen!"

    Re: 21 y/o...PMO for way too long

    Not this time.
     
  2. Letscrackthis

    Letscrackthis "He is not here, for he has risen!"

    Re: 21 y/o...PMO for way too long

    Been going 5-7 days PMO free, then PMOing, 5-7 days PMO free...rinse and repeat. This illusion of progress is just a cycle. A cycle that needs to end.
     
  3. Letscrackthis

    Letscrackthis "He is not here, for he has risen!"

    Re: 21 y/o...PMO for way too long

    Day 1 Back to the basics.

    -Fears

    -Distractions

    Focus
     
  4. Letscrackthis

    Letscrackthis "He is not here, for he has risen!"

    Re: 21 y/o...PMO for way too long

    [Day 1] [Day 2] [Day 3] [Day 4] [Day 5]
     
  5. Letscrackthis

    Letscrackthis "He is not here, for he has risen!"

    Re: 21 y/o...PMO for way too long

    @sun Thanks man. I haven't been prioritizing it and it seems that I need to. Discipline. Discipline.
     
  6. Letscrackthis

    Letscrackthis "He is not here, for he has risen!"

    Re: 21 y/o...PMO for way too long

    I'm honestly sick and tired of this slavery. 'If you died this very moment, what would die with you? What if you died only to realize you've never even scraped the surface of your potential?'...all because of porn. Disgusting. Wasting potential is disgusting. In fact, potential unrealized is worthless. I'm sick and tired of this slavery and I'll take any escape out. I sympathize with my fellow men that are slaves to this. Getting quick fixes, 5 second highs, only to come back down, lamenting 'what am I doing with my life?'
     
  7. Letscrackthis

    Letscrackthis "He is not here, for he has risen!"

    Re: 21 y/o...PMO for way too long

    Alright, break's over. Let's get back to work.
     
  8. Letscrackthis

    Letscrackthis "He is not here, for he has risen!"

    Re: 21 y/o...PMO for way too long

    It's all I've ever known?

    With it being my last year in uni, it's nice that situations with girls seem to be improving. However, just as the prospect of a budding relationship comes up, my mind constantly perverts everything. It becomes difficult not to see her beyond her body. What sucks just as much is the objectifying, the removal of her being, the pornified lust, it doesn't even make me happy. It's simply a habit, one that leaves a void. She'll come on my mind, and I'll think on her and on us for a bit...and then the pornification begins. I try to see her cute smile, her sense of humor, her compassion...but nope, who cares about that, straight to her body. I try to be happy...but nope, porn. How do you unknow the only thing you've ever known? <---well that's how I'm feeling right now, but I know that I know much more than porn. I guess this situation adds yet another reason to keep fighting this battle and win.
     
  9. Letscrackthis

    Letscrackthis "He is not here, for he has risen!"

    Re: 21 y/o...PMO for way too long

    Thanks sun. All the best to you too.

    It's seeming that I have to let go of it all (edging, fantasy, MO, P) to let go of anything. That's what's gotten me through these days. It's interesting, years of this has linked them all together for me. So in these past days, when I get an urge to watch porn, my mind tells me 'but then I'd have to edge, so no.'. If I get an urge to MO, my mind tells me 'but then I'd have to fantasize, so no'. My mind usually rationalizes me into those things, but I think me constantly telling myself those things has helped me build 'good' rationalizations. Also, and maybe more importantly, I quickly shift my focus from urges to something else.

    I'll admit, after fighting this fight for over a year now, I know that posting about this stuff can ironically lead to my downfall since it returns stuff I've been distanced from back into my mind. But I thought I'd put this into words somewhere just once.
     
  10. Letscrackthis

    Letscrackthis "He is not here, for he has risen!"

    Re: 21 y/o...PMO for way too long

    My mind was trying to convince me to break my streak...LOL. I'm really sleep deprived and the suggestions to cave in are definitely there. But then you just look at your calendar, see all of those X's and, just laugh at the idea that you'd give up what you worked for over something so stupid.

    Going to go out and get some work done asap.
     
  11. Overlord

    Overlord Guest

    Re: 21 y/o...PMO for way too long

    keep going
     
  12. Letscrackthis

    Letscrackthis "He is not here, for he has risen!"

    Re: 21 y/o...PMO for way too long

    "You quit in your mind long before
    your body is ready to quit.
    Keep going!"

    Thanks man, that was helpful in more ways than one. I was giving up mentally in another aspect of my life, but my body hasn't gotten the memo. Gotta keep going, my future me will be grateful.
     
  13. Letscrackthis

    Letscrackthis "He is not here, for he has risen!"

    Re: 21 y/o...PMO for way too long

    @sun My success has been too dependent on extrinsic things such as being too busy with work to look at P. When the going gets tough, when the extrinsic things are removed, I give in. I need to reinforce myself, reinforce my why's, and develop a clear vision.

    It's tough, but I need to be consistent and stick to what I set out to do. I need to focus my willpower on a few things at a time and stop getting distracted. There's a lot to be done, but only so much can be done in a given amount of time.
    From my academic work to my reboot attempts, my efforts aren't fruitful because I'm not persistent, I lose sight of the goal or shy away when the going gets tough. But I need to constantly remind myself that sustained change is possible, if I just keep fighting along.
     
  14. Re: 21 y/o...PMO for way too long

    Hey man, since you are telling yourself that you depend on extrinsic things, think of it as your "strength". You do well with being busy. Now, knowing your strength, you can then come up with a plan to keep busy all the time. I do that quite a lot because I don't want to fall into the trap of wasting my time. I became fed up with relapsing and made myself very busy. I know you can do it.
     
  15. pooman789

    pooman789 New Member

    Re: 21 y/o...PMO for way too long

    Hey, you have a really good and honest journal here. I'm impressed at your efforts and you have some great videos posted ;) I know you can do it! Focus on the positives: you've already decided to quit and that first step is sometimes the hardest. I'm no expert on quitting all of this (this is my second journal, the last being a year ago). But I'm hoping we can do this together, man!
    Keep on trucking'
    P
     
  16. Letscrackthis

    Letscrackthis "He is not here, for he has risen!"

    Re: 21 y/o...PMO for way too long

    @StrongerBolder Thanks man. That's a good way of looking at things and redirecting my mindset. I've been working out a little bit and trying to keep myself occupied.
    "Now, knowing your strength, you can then come up with a plan to keep busy all the time. I do that quite a lot because I don't want to fall into the trap of wasting my time. I became fed up with relapsing and made myself very busy."

    I think you've made the important connection between noPMO and improving our lives.

    @pooman789 Thanks for stopping by. Took a look through my journal recently, lol. Can't believe it's been over a year. We CAN do this, we just have to set our minds to it and see that it happens. In some hypothetical alternate universe, we've not only overcome PMO, but we're also improving our lives tremendously.
     
  17. Letscrackthis

    Letscrackthis "He is not here, for he has risen!"

    Re: 21 y/o...PMO for way too long

    No matter how determined we are to win this fight, each day is a new day, presenting us with new obstacles, and sometimes, new mindsets. We can be motivated today, and forget all about that x days from now. Just as bad, I sometimes wake up in a daze and it's like my defenses are gone. That's why I need to somehow re-establish myself and re-ground myself each morning/day [morning exercise & cold shower; breathing routine]. So that I'm constantly reminded that it's a battle, and this is no game.
     
  18. Letscrackthis

    Letscrackthis "He is not here, for he has risen!"

    Re: 21 y/o...PMO for way too long

    Day 15: Man was last night/this morning tough. I wasn't able to fall asleep and a caving in to urges seemed inevitable. It was as if I was being kept awake in order to relapse. The thing is, I knew that I had no desire to MO or PMO. I just wanted an escape from the discomfort of not being able to fall asleep for 3,4 + hours, and MO/PMO has been my go-to escape for years. So I wasn't running to a relapse per se, I was running to any escape from my discomfort. Knowing this, I struggled through that discomfort for all those hours. Never allowing myself to fantasize more than 5 seconds or to edge at all. Porn hasn't been in play mostly since I'm at home so it's harder to use and easier to lose. So I made it, but man does insomnia suck.
     
  19. Letscrackthis

    Letscrackthis "He is not here, for he has risen!"

    Re: 21 y/o...PMO for way too long

    Trouble falling asleep again. I hope this isn't a pattern, and if it is then I need to rectify it somehow.
     
  20. Re: 21 y/o...PMO for way too long

    Hey man, happy new year!
    There are some ways to help with your sleep pattern.

    1. Don't drink caffeine.
    2. Take Zinc Picolinate before sleeping.
    3. Take a warm shower an hour before going to bed.
    4. Don't have any mobile devices inside your bedroom before going to sleep.
    5. Don't watch TV to fall asleep.

    ...etc. I also had trouble sleeping before and these are some of what I do to help.
     

Share This Page