22| Rebooting till my dick gets so hard that i could smash bricks with it

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by K-Dot, Jun 28, 2016.

  1. K-Dot

    K-Dot We gon' be alright!

    Day 203

    I played Kool & the Gang album to chill out for a lil bit and the first line on the album wsa literally "I can't get it up".
    God why are you making an ass of me?

    I've realised I'm using alcohol to silent down anxiety in social situations. Sometimes it's hard for me to get comfortable around some people (usually ones who I find important) and I drink a few beers/shots to relax.

    This morning thoughts of never being able to get it up without visual/physical stimulation spiked fear in me, but I've been listening to some hip hop and I feel better now
     
  2. K-Dot

    K-Dot We gon' be alright!

    Day 205

    Last night I had 2 dreams where's my GF included. In the first one we broke up over something stupid and I felt horrible. In the second one we was having sex in a shower and I woke up with a rock hard boner. I was dissapointed it was only a dream, but I felt so happy in it. If i ever pull through this pain and anxiety, I'll make sure to never relapse again, I don't even crave porn/instagram nudes and anything artificial anymore. I'm dreaming of being normal, enjoying sex and not think about will It ger hard and will i satisfy the person i care about. I dream about feeling masculine and full of self confidence again
     
  3. K-Dot

    K-Dot We gon' be alright!

    Day 206

    Making some progress here. My girlfriend visited me at 11:30 AM and we made lunch together. After that we went to bedroom, started making out, she was at the last stage of her period, but she said that she wants me inside of her anyway. I got hard boner while touching her, but lost it during 10 minutes of foreplay. Later she stroked my penis a lil bit until I got erected and we tried to go for a sex. I penetrated with 80-90% erection but ejaculated as soon as making the first stroke. We stopped, I acted cool and we had conversation about porn addiction and random stuff. She is really good person.
    Maybe 30 minutes later, she wanted to give me a BJ and i got 100%, but i sad her to do it slowly and gently, She was giving me a blowjob like that for about 2 minutes and I decided to try vaginal sex again. I've put a condom and penetrated her with 75-85% erection, but sped up when I felt i'll lose it and boom! I was fucking her for about 2 minutes. But unfortunately we heard the door, my sister came back home and we had to stop. Fuck! But I was happy about those 2 minutes. I know I still have work to do and I don't know does this counts as successful sex, but I got some drive for my recovery.
     

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