22, ED, and a reboot

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by foxtrotsmith, May 6, 2012.

  1. foxtrotsmith

    foxtrotsmith New Member

    My story: 22 years old, been on PMO since about 13. Had a gf for 5 years which involved some pretty good sex. I experienced ED with her once last year, but only once, and I wrote it off as being tired and out of sorts.

    We broke up in December, and recently I was hooking up with another girl, but couldn't get it up! Again, first I wrote it off as being tired, then as her not being as attractive as I'd have liked. It was only when I found YBOP that I realized that it was PMO, not her, and not being tired, that was causing my ED. So I've decided to quit permanently.

    My basic goal is 10 weeks with no PMO. P must be gone permanently, with only marginal M.

    I have always been a wildly social person, so I don't know what kind of changes to expect socially. I LOVE meeting new people, so I don't expect to make major gains there. But I do want my sexual self-confidence back. I'll be damned if I have to struggle with erections ever again.

    My one major disappointment is dealing with this struggle in the last semester of college, when I should be out having the most fun. But worse things have happened.

    Just woke up on Day 9. Pretty low libido, no morning wood. Woke up yesterday with a chub, but nothing today. I might be starting to flatline.

    Stay tuned for the minutiae of my reboot!
     
  2. storyhasshown

    storyhasshown New Member

    Your story sounds real similar to mine. I'm interested to see how things play out for you and if it's similar to my reboot. Keep us updated!

    Edit: Also, you seem to have a good attitude about the whole thing. I think this only helps the reboot. Stay positive.
     
  3. foxtrotsmith

    foxtrotsmith New Member

    Day 13:

    Last night I had a dream about porn. It makes me laugh that I had a dream about porn rather than about having sex. Just goes to show that porn actually can be a problem. Does having a dream about watching porn count as a relapse? ;) haha. Funny thing is, while I was seeing porn in my dream, I remembered YBOP in my dream and closed the porn.

    I made out and almost hooked up with a girl who's been really into me. I still have porn-induced ED, but I know I'm on my way to recovery from it! I told her I was on a "sexual hiatus", meaning no sex, blowjobs or orgasms. Even though I AM on avoiding sexual stimulation, this was largely to hide the fact that I have porn-induced ED.

    Over the last few days I've noticed spikes in my libido (a few days ago at the gym I felt like I was going to explode), but at other times my libido is just nowhere to be found. Interesting development. Anyone else notice something like that during their reboots?

    -An interesting development is, I think my voice has lowered slightly. Fun fact!
     
  4. DGP

    DGP New Member

    Sounds like you're in high spirits, which is certainly good. I'm pretty confident porn dreams aren't a relapse. I think it is the brain doing it's thing to try and keep the wiring to porn intact. I've had quite a few similar dreams where I thought I had relapsed but woke to a massive sigh of relief.
     
  5. liveinthenow

    liveinthenow New Member

    Yep. I've been flatline for two weeks but yesterday and today my dick is practically crawling out of my pants on it's own. Comes and goes.
     
  6. John4MyLife

    John4MyLife New Member

    Liveinthenow that's awesome news about your flatline ending yesterday! Gives me hope for a return to morning wood one day.
     
  7. foxtrotsmith

    foxtrotsmith New Member

    Good for you guys! I start my third week tomorrow!

    Gotta be honest, I came very close to relapsing today :p I even google imaged some things I knew would be pornographic. Soon as I saw the images, I closed the window. SO, even though I technically saw pornographic images, I'm not counting it.

    I just think it's kind of interesting seeing the battle between my brain's wiring and my own willpower. My brain is DEMANDING some porno, but my willpower makes me close the window anytime provocative images show up. Our brains are funny things :p.

    I can't wait to have normal erections back! I'm tired of porn and Rosy Palm being my lovers. Isn't it such a weird idea that we can't actually have sex with real women (as of now)? I never woulda thunk this could happen!

    But, I need a better plan for avoiding relapse besides willpower. Anybody have any suggestions?
     
  8. foxtrotsmith

    foxtrotsmith New Member

    It's day 23 today, and I've entered the flatline period! XD Woo for progress! No erections in the last day or two, no morning wood at all, no libido at all. Today I have had a much easier time avoiding pornography.

    Now that I've given up porn, I have a lot of time. I'm taking up aspects of daygame pickup -- working on social skills by approaching strangers, especially attractive women, and chatting them up. The idea of dance classes is also tickling my fancy!

    I hear that this process is not linear (and I've experienced that myself, with libido surges during the first couple weeks). I'm eager to find out what kind of experiences I can expect over the next 7 to 10 weeks.

    Also worth comment is, this is the longest I have ever gone without O since I discovered M! Definitely the longest since the beginning of high school. I think it's funny how all the praying in the world wasn't able to help me quit PMO (I had a thoroughly Catholic upbringing), but one disappointing relationship due to ED sufficed to catapult me to three weeks strong.
     
  9. fullset

    fullset Member

    Dude I'm on day 24 and I started flatlining a couple of days ago. Seems like we're walking side by side on the same road to the same destination. I also wonder how long this is going to go on. In the beginning, I was hoping for a flatline when I was horny but didn't MO. But that felt good. Flatline definitely doesn't. I guess we gotta go through this to send a strong message to our brains that the only way to get a release is through real life girls.
     
  10. foxtrotsmith

    foxtrotsmith New Member

    Fullset, it looks that way! Let me know what kind of things you've been experiencing!

    My flatline has definitely come to an end over the last several days. There have been huge surges of libido!

    I've come pretty close to relapse a couple times, and have even stumbled onto some pics (no videos, and always closed the windows right away, so it's all good).

    I went out with a couple friends to some bars last night. We even ended up at a strip club since two of us had never been to one, and we had free entry coupons (right place, right time!).

    I had no problem getting a stiffy there, which was an encouraging sign. Also, I've noticed that I'm able to get erect without fantasy - just with touching the soldier. Happy progress!
     

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