21 year old medic, sort-of-virgin, frenoplasty, prone masturbation to 19 yrs

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by navi, Mar 29, 2012.

  1. navi

    navi New Member

    I'm 21 years old, male, and had my first sexual experience early this year. The girl (actually, my girlfriend) was very attractive, but I couldn't get hard enough to penetrate. She then gave me a handjob, which left me with a torn frenulum that I didn't notice until the next day, when I found blood under my foreskin. I had no idea why I couldn't get as hard as I needed to be. I don't smoke, I rarely drink, I'm not diabetic, nor asthmatic, and I was not on any medication. I exercise daily, have a 'normal' BMI and I eat well.

    The next time I was in bed with my girlfriend was in about a week's time. We had foreplay, but when it came to actual sex, I explained about the torn frenulum. It had basically healed by that point with no signs of infection (I'd been putting antibiotic cream on it throughout the day), but all the same, I figured it needed a little longer. So no, we didn't have sex that night. Regardless, I noticed I was still not getting a firm erection.

    I couldn't get an appointment to see a doctor at all by this point. However, I was starting to worry that it was not performance anxiety. I ended up ordering Viagra through an on-line pharmacy and, once my frenulum was fully healed (I should stress that it was only really a small nick, it wasn't badly torn) I took some. Later that night with my girlfriend, my erection did seem firmer. The condom went on, and she got up on top of me, unlike last time where it was missionary. I penetrated, but we only had 'sex' for about 15 seconds before the erection was gone. The next time, I doubled the dose, but still my erection was inadequate.

    At the same time, I started suffering from a chronic eye inflammation which has now taken me out of university for a year. It wasn't the worst thing in the world, but the time it took to get it treated meant I missed too many lectures to realistically finish the term, despite the fact that I'd passed all the exams up to that point. This was incredibly stressful in general but also added stress to my relationship with my girlfriend in addition to the problems in bed, as it meant that I had to go back to my home town. I ended up having treatment for my eyes, and brought up the topic of my erectile dysfunction. By this point, I'd had time to deliberate and study on it, and had some ideas as to what was wrong. I believed it was the result of a phimosis (tight foreskin) that I had been self-stretching to treat. Before the age of 19, my foreskin couldn't retract past my glans (head of the penis) at all. After a few months of stretching, it was able to retract easily whilst flaccid, and fairly well whilst erect (it went past the glans). However, I reasoned that this stretching may have upset the vessels of the penis somehow, making my penis unable to erect fully.

    My GP referred me on to a urologist who gave my penis a physical examination. He said that it and the rest of me looked very healthy, and that if there had ever been a full phimosis, it had now almost completely relaxed. I did, however, have what he called a frenulum breve; an overly short frenulum. If I haven't explained beforehand, the frenulum is the 'banjo string' that tethers the glans to the foreskin on the underside of the penis. I was booked in for a frenoplasty to lengthen it, and I had a full blood test which showed normal levels in everything, including testosterone. I was not convinced, however, that the frenoplasty would solve the issue - after all, all it would be doing is making things slightly more comfortable. My issue seemed deeper. I started wondering whether my penis was somehow less sensitive, and did some Googling around the subject. I ended up on a website called 'Your Brain on Porn'. I watched the videos, and slowly started to piece it all together. Before starting university, I watched a lot of porn. Not to the point of watching it all day or anything like that, but I certainly watched it most nights, and was masturbating and orgasming to porn fantasies on average twice a day.

    This had been the case since around the age of 15, if not even younger. And up until the age of 19, I did all my masturbating lying prone on my stomach, ejaculating and orgasming with my penis either flaccid or semi-erect, mostly by rubbing the glans. I'm not sure how I got into that, which I now understand to be a very strange habit - I guess it just felt good when I was younger, so I saw no reason to do it any differently. At 19, I came across a website called 'Healthy Strokes', which pointed out that what it called TMS (traumatic masturbatory syndrome), or prone masturbation, could cause sexual dysfunction by overstimulating the penis. I wasn't doing it in the way they described (e.g. thrusting into pillows), but all the same I 'converted' to normal masturbation. It was also around this time that I recognised that my phimosis was not normal and began stretching my foreskin.

    Anyway, all the while (between 14ish to 21 years old) I was watching a lot of porn and my tastes were slowly changing. To start off, I needed very little to get excited - even just a fully clothed girl in a magazine. Over time, and as I started watching videos, I needed 'stronger' stuff. Now, at the time I actually thought this was a good sign. I figured I was becoming more sexually adjusted. By not completely losing it over just, say, the sight of boobs, I figured I was 'training' myself to be a better lover, and reducing my chances of premature ejaculation.

    As I read through YBOP however, I became more and more convinced that this was my problem. I read and understood that the only known fix is a so-called 'reboot' - the complete removal of porn, masturbation and orgasm. Oddly enough however, I was already doing that. By virtue of a university porn filter and a reluctance to masturbate in a flat with seven guys, I hadn't orgasmed more than about once or twice in several months before getting in bed with my girlfriend, and had watched no porn whatsoever.

    I now believe I was 'flatlining' - my brain (and therefore penis) was less sensitive to sexual arousal because it was literally rewiring to the real thing. I've been abstaining technically since October, give or take a few masturbation sessions where I hadn't come across YBOP. My most recent orgasm came after about a month's abstaining, and was actually a little uncomfortable, with an enormous amount of cum. To this date I have never had a wet dream, so I can only assume there's quite a bit of 'backing up' occurring.

    Right now, I'm healing up from the frenoplasty which I had last week, and on the occasions where I've seen my girlfriend, I'm certainly seeing activity downstairs, but I'm still yet to get a full, proper erection (though I'm aware it's not likely to happen or even advisable whilst my penis is still healing). I feel like my libido is very low, which is incredibly frustrating because I can see that my girlfriend is very attractive, but can't really feel or do much about it. I'm also facing the prospect of waiting several months before going back to medical school, as I have now officially interrupted study due to my eye illness.

    I'll try to post updates every now and then, but I'd be really grateful if anyone could talk to me about this. It's killing me that I can't show my girlfriend properly how I feel. She's being so understanding about it, but it's really not fair on her.

    Thank you for reading.
  2. navi

    navi New Member

    Woke up today with quite strong morning wood, which I haven't really experienced much of lately. I don't have any urge to masturbate whatsoever, though. I don't even feel like watching porn. It's strange because i can sort of recognise logically when I find something attractive, but I just feel completely detached physically and emotionally. I'm starting to wonder if any of the medication I'm on for my eyes (doxycycline) may be contributing to a lack of libido.
  3. Rob4Hope

    Rob4Hope Guest

    You have done a LOT of research trying to understand your erection problem. I appreciate that a lot of that might be related to the anxiety you are feeling about being erotically normal. You mentioned something in your post: you masturbated and had a extremely large amount of ejaculate. That is a GOOD sign,...things are still working, and you are capable of orgasm.

    From what I have read on this site and in other books, the time to re-boot is different from one person to another. Some people need a full 6 weeks,...and then there are some of us who need longer. What does longer mean? Could be several months or longer, but that doesn't need to be a bad thing. It doesn't mean anything actually,....just that longer is needed.

    Have hope in your future. You are able to wake accasionally with morning wood,.... and in time, with the help of your girl, you will be able to have a strong erection and yummy sex.

    Keep posting. Your posts help me as well.
  4. navi

    navi New Member

    Thanks very much for your post, it's very reassuring. I'll be sure to keep up the journal. :)
  5. navi

    navi New Member

    Day 50:
    (guesstimating the date slightly, but I think this will work better if I start posts like this).

    Woke up with quite strong morning wood again, maybe 70%. At least, the shaft was rock solid, though it wasn't 'upright' unless I sat up. The foreskin also wasn't retracted.

    Took some multivitamins and flaxseed oil, which I've been taking daily for the past two months or so to try and maximise my health.

    Had my first strong urge since starting my reboot to look at some porn, not sure what triggered it. Possibly because I've been staying up later than usual, and it always used to be in the early hours that I 'got my fix'.

    Still have strong hopes for the future.
  6. navi

    navi New Member

    Day 52:

    No noticeable morning wood today. Have been feeling quite cheery though.

    Went out for a meal with my girlfriend in the evening, and although we didn't do particularly much sexually (just making out and a bit of touching before and after), I think I got about a 40-50% erection at some points. I also got quite a lot of pre-ejaculate, which has happened to me a few times now from making out.

    Has anyone else experienced this? I kind of figure it would be more normal to have pre-ejaculate during a full erection.

    I now have a check-up with my urologist this Wednesday to see how my penis is healing up from my frenoplasty. I'm going to mention all this to him as well to see what he makes of it, though I may leave out the whole YBOP agenda. I'd just like him to make absolutely sure that physically, my penis is fine.
  7. navi

    navi New Member

    Day 53:

    No morning wood again. Mood is swinging around a lot. For some reason I can't stop comparing myself to my girlfriend's exes. It just enrages me that I'm not able to do something as simple as getting hard enough to have sex. I honestly felt like kicking my door in this morning. This is incredibly unlike me.

    Think I need to stop messing about on the PC to kill time. My exercise is starting to fall behind and I don't seem to have as much self-control when it comes to watching what I'm eating now, either. Maybe my brain is after an alternate dopamine source? I'm also going to start doing kegel exercises regularly, because heck, there's no reason not to try that as well.

    When I see my urologist on Wednesday, I'm very tempted to ask about ED drugs. I've seen mixed views on here about it (such as that you shouldn't build up a dependence on it), but I think it's important to have proper sex at least once, for both my mental state and my relationship. My girlfriend isn't really saying anything here nor there about the subject, but I really do think she's getting sexually frustrated as well.

    I haven't told my girlfriend any of this YBOP/porn habituation stuff. As far as she's aware, the operation she knows I had (frenoplasty) is going to fix the problem, and the only reason I'm abstaining now is to let my penis heal up.

    I keep dreading the idea of us splitting up over this, and then knowing for sure that I'm never going to have sex with her.
  8. navi

    navi New Member

    Day 54:

    Woke up twice in the early morning due to erections, think I was rolling over onto them. Didn't feel aroused at all but they were actually very strong, maybe 80%.

    Went to see my urologist, who checked the stitches in my penis from the frenoplasty. He said everything looked good there and was ready to have me leave before I decided to ask more questions about my ED situation. He seemed very closed off about the subject to be honest. He restated that my hormone levels were absolutely fine and that it was probably anxiety related, given that I was starting to get morning erections again. I told him about my low libido and he more or less said that that will be fine in the end. Ultimately, he said the best thing to do would be to wait till I've fully healed and just see how I go.

    I did ask him about the possibility of ED drugs, and he seemed very averse to the idea. He said that if I still found I had problems after healing fully, I should ask my GP about cialis, but on the whole he was not at all sold on the notion of a healthy 21-year-old taking drugs for an erection.

    I may push for a penis doppler test to check for anything like venous leak, but honestly I'm quite convinced my penis itself is pretty normal. I really hate the idea of just waiting it out, however. I'm in my 'sexual prime' with a gorgeous girl for Christ's sake. This is agonising.
  9. navi

    navi New Member

    Found a post whilst Googling:

    I'm now really tempted to try and get some cialis for the next time I try to have sex. I can get some on-line, but it costs an absolute shed-load - £70 odd for 28 tablets, including the private prescription. I just really don't want to have to go through my GP/urologist, because it would be so difficult trying to explain my full reasoning (i.e. reboot, etc).

    I've also ordered some ultra-thin condoms - I forgot to mention, but last time I used 'numbing' condoms. I suspect they made things worse.
  10. navi

    navi New Member

    Day 55:

    Didn't wake up with morning wood today as such, but I found that just moving around in bed seemed to be enough to trigger an erection (50%). That was with absolutely no arousal/horniness at all, so I'm guessing it was a good sign.

    Still on the fence about whether to order some cialis. Part of me thinks it would be a good way of helping me 'rewire', because if it did give me a strong erection and I orgasmed during sex, surely that would be helping my body do the 'right' thing. The other part of me wonders whether it would only really act as a crutch, ultimately slowing down my recovery to full independence. Then of course there's the last part of me that just really wants to have sex already.

    On a different note, my complexion seems to have improved over the last few months, and I'm also noticing that the skin around my eyes seems lighter (I used to have quite a problem with dark circles that didn't change with more sleep). I also seem a lot hungrier - I used to skip desserts despite being perhaps a bit too slightly built, but now I always seem ravenous.
  11. CSIM

    CSIM New Member

    I too started off as a prone masturbator. luckily, my friend tought me the 'real' way. i dint like it at first, and continued my way. dunno when I made the switch but luckily it was way before my sex days. the orgasms were much more intense though I rememerb that.
  12. navi

    navi New Member

    I remember it taking me about a week to 'switch' to proper masturbation. Good to hear you caught it in time that it hasn't effected you, though.

    If anyone reading this masturbates prone (on your stomach), I definitely recommend Googling 'healthystrokes' and reading up on how to change.
  13. navi

    navi New Member

    Day 56:

    No morning wood. Seeing my girlfriend tomorrow and taking her to meet my family. I think I may have given the impression things have improved more than they actually have. Last time I was with her she knew we couldn't have sex due to the frenoplasty, but she was still checking for an erection all the same. In any case, I don't think we'll get much of a chance to be in bed tomorrow.

    I've been doing some more research and am now wondering whether it's possible that I have prostatitis (inflammation of the prostate gland), which may be exacerbating my ED. I've been having a little trouble urinating occasionally and once, a sharp pain near my left kidney. I should probably go mention it to my GP. I've also had a slight ache in my testicles sometimes.

    Still undecided on whether to try and get some ED drugs, just to see what difference they'd make. The last time, as I've mentioned, I tried some Viagra and didn't see much of an effect, but maybe other types would work better.

    My libido is still seemingly non-existent, which I think is a clear sign I have a ways to go yet. I've got no feeling when I see a girl. Really hope I get through this flatline soon.
  14. navi

    navi New Member

    Day 57:

    No morning wood. My foreskin was retracted though, so I'm assuming I had some erections during the night. Also, I was able to get a 90% just through kegels, which stood up at a 45 degree angle. I'm pretty pleased with that, given that I was completely unaroused at the time.

    I'm doing some more foreskin stretching now, because I'm pretty certain my foreskin should be gliding easily over the glans even when erect: right now, it's not completely comfortable.

    Haven't seen my girlfriend in about a week, so it'll be interesting seeing what happens when I'm with her. Last time, I was getting pretty strong semis and a lot of pre-ejaculate just walking round with her, but making out on a bed didn't seem to be doing much for me. Wish me luck!
  15. navi

    navi New Member


    Just seen my girlfriend off for the night. Had a really great evening. We didn't have an opportunity to do anything major sexually because it was my family home and it would have been a bit weird, but we did make out and play around for a bit.

    I was pleasantly surprised ...

    Everything felt so different tonight. I felt like I was getting these little buzzes and tingles every time I squeezed her or touched her. We went up to my room eventually and I felt this kind of burning urge to just tear her clothes off. We made out and I got my hand under her top and played with her nipples, and my penis just took off. I felt down, and even with my fairly tight jeans on, it was managing a 70% and working its way up.

    We decided not to take things further - like I say, we were at my folks' house. My horniness is definitely making a comeback though. Things are on the up! (literally!)
  16. navi

    navi New Member

    Day 59:

    No morning wood.

    Slightly better mood than usual. Back in the flatline though. It's a really bizarre feeling. If you'd told me two years ago that there'd be a time where I'd see a hot woman and not even think about anything sexual, I'd have assumed you were either crazy or that I'd become a eunuch.

    I find that the accounts on YBOP tend to help me through, though. The fact that I'm experiencing the exact same stuff makes me confident that I'll see the same improvements, too.
  17. navi

    navi New Member

    Day 61:

    No morning wood.

    Spent the night with my girlfriend last night, first time in a little while that we had a chance to do more than just making out. I was pretty pleased with my erection - it's gone from being sort of non-existent to a sustained 80-90% when we're having heavy foreplay. Things moved along and she started to give me a handjob, but I felt a pain when she tried (still healing from the frenoplasty), so she stopped.

    Then she gave me a blowjob instead, which was nice and didn't hurt, but my penis seemed a little ... desensitised, still. The last blowjob she gave me, I was at about 50%, so I guess there was some improvement, but I didn't really feel much sadly.

    I was game to have a go at proper sex, but she was worried I'd end up injuring myself, so we decided against it. This sounds a bit over the top, but I'd actually read a guide to oral sex, and tried some stuff out when I went down on her. She said she absolutely loved it - at least this experience is making me think outside the box to please her, I guess!

    I've now bought some ultra thin condoms and will also pick up some lube for next time. Now I know I can keep the erections, but the next step will be making sure it doesn't take me seven hours to cum.
  18. navi

    navi New Member

    Day 62:

    Not sure if this counts as morning wood, but I got a strong spontaneous erection when I was getting out of bed today.

    Had my first idle sexual fantasy today in months. I started fantasising about the other night with my girlfriend, but for the first time I think, it didn't make me want to masturbate. Reading this as a good sign.
  19. navi

    navi New Member

    Day 63:

    I had no wood again this morning, but I tried some gentle stimulation and was harder than I think I've ever been. Even the glans was like a rock, which I've hardly ever experienced.

    Mood has improved dramatically. I feel as though I'm finally seeing the light at the end of this flatline.
  20. navi

    navi New Member

    Day 66:

    No wood.

    My girlfriend and I are going to be apart for about a month. I'm hung up about it, but at the same time, it does give me an opportunity to really buckle down and avoid any and all stimulation.

    I'm starting to get cravings to masturbate again, or at least to get some sort of release. I think it may be because I was kind of edging a few days ago, when I posted last. I probably shouldn't have, but it was relieving to see how hard I could get with stimulation. And also, at the end of the day, I shouldn't have to feel that bad about fantasising about stuff I've done with my girlfriend. If anything, surely that's my libido coming back?

    Mood is okay.

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