I'm 21 years old, male, and had my first sexual experience early this year. The girl (actually, my girlfriend) was very attractive, but I couldn't get hard enough to penetrate. She then gave me a handjob, which left me with a torn frenulum that I didn't notice until the next day, when I found blood under my foreskin. I had no idea why I couldn't get as hard as I needed to be. I don't smoke, I rarely drink, I'm not diabetic, nor asthmatic, and I was not on any medication. I exercise daily, have a 'normal' BMI and I eat well. The next time I was in bed with my girlfriend was in about a week's time. We had foreplay, but when it came to actual sex, I explained about the torn frenulum. It had basically healed by that point with no signs of infection (I'd been putting antibiotic cream on it throughout the day), but all the same, I figured it needed a little longer. So no, we didn't have sex that night. Regardless, I noticed I was still not getting a firm erection. I couldn't get an appointment to see a doctor at all by this point. However, I was starting to worry that it was not performance anxiety. I ended up ordering Viagra through an on-line pharmacy and, once my frenulum was fully healed (I should stress that it was only really a small nick, it wasn't badly torn) I took some. Later that night with my girlfriend, my erection did seem firmer. The condom went on, and she got up on top of me, unlike last time where it was missionary. I penetrated, but we only had 'sex' for about 15 seconds before the erection was gone. The next time, I doubled the dose, but still my erection was inadequate. At the same time, I started suffering from a chronic eye inflammation which has now taken me out of university for a year. It wasn't the worst thing in the world, but the time it took to get it treated meant I missed too many lectures to realistically finish the term, despite the fact that I'd passed all the exams up to that point. This was incredibly stressful in general but also added stress to my relationship with my girlfriend in addition to the problems in bed, as it meant that I had to go back to my home town. I ended up having treatment for my eyes, and brought up the topic of my erectile dysfunction. By this point, I'd had time to deliberate and study on it, and had some ideas as to what was wrong. I believed it was the result of a phimosis (tight foreskin) that I had been self-stretching to treat. Before the age of 19, my foreskin couldn't retract past my glans (head of the penis) at all. After a few months of stretching, it was able to retract easily whilst flaccid, and fairly well whilst erect (it went past the glans). However, I reasoned that this stretching may have upset the vessels of the penis somehow, making my penis unable to erect fully. My GP referred me on to a urologist who gave my penis a physical examination. He said that it and the rest of me looked very healthy, and that if there had ever been a full phimosis, it had now almost completely relaxed. I did, however, have what he called a frenulum breve; an overly short frenulum. If I haven't explained beforehand, the frenulum is the 'banjo string' that tethers the glans to the foreskin on the underside of the penis. I was booked in for a frenoplasty to lengthen it, and I had a full blood test which showed normal levels in everything, including testosterone. I was not convinced, however, that the frenoplasty would solve the issue - after all, all it would be doing is making things slightly more comfortable. My issue seemed deeper. I started wondering whether my penis was somehow less sensitive, and did some Googling around the subject. I ended up on a website called 'Your Brain on Porn'. I watched the videos, and slowly started to piece it all together. Before starting university, I watched a lot of porn. Not to the point of watching it all day or anything like that, but I certainly watched it most nights, and was masturbating and orgasming to porn fantasies on average twice a day. This had been the case since around the age of 15, if not even younger. And up until the age of 19, I did all my masturbating lying prone on my stomach, ejaculating and orgasming with my penis either flaccid or semi-erect, mostly by rubbing the glans. I'm not sure how I got into that, which I now understand to be a very strange habit - I guess it just felt good when I was younger, so I saw no reason to do it any differently. At 19, I came across a website called 'Healthy Strokes', which pointed out that what it called TMS (traumatic masturbatory syndrome), or prone masturbation, could cause sexual dysfunction by overstimulating the penis. I wasn't doing it in the way they described (e.g. thrusting into pillows), but all the same I 'converted' to normal masturbation. It was also around this time that I recognised that my phimosis was not normal and began stretching my foreskin. Anyway, all the while (between 14ish to 21 years old) I was watching a lot of porn and my tastes were slowly changing. To start off, I needed very little to get excited - even just a fully clothed girl in a magazine. Over time, and as I started watching videos, I needed 'stronger' stuff. Now, at the time I actually thought this was a good sign. I figured I was becoming more sexually adjusted. By not completely losing it over just, say, the sight of boobs, I figured I was 'training' myself to be a better lover, and reducing my chances of premature ejaculation. As I read through YBOP however, I became more and more convinced that this was my problem. I read and understood that the only known fix is a so-called 'reboot' - the complete removal of porn, masturbation and orgasm. Oddly enough however, I was already doing that. By virtue of a university porn filter and a reluctance to masturbate in a flat with seven guys, I hadn't orgasmed more than about once or twice in several months before getting in bed with my girlfriend, and had watched no porn whatsoever. I now believe I was 'flatlining' - my brain (and therefore penis) was less sensitive to sexual arousal because it was literally rewiring to the real thing. I've been abstaining technically since October, give or take a few masturbation sessions where I hadn't come across YBOP. My most recent orgasm came after about a month's abstaining, and was actually a little uncomfortable, with an enormous amount of cum. To this date I have never had a wet dream, so I can only assume there's quite a bit of 'backing up' occurring. Right now, I'm healing up from the frenoplasty which I had last week, and on the occasions where I've seen my girlfriend, I'm certainly seeing activity downstairs, but I'm still yet to get a full, proper erection (though I'm aware it's not likely to happen or even advisable whilst my penis is still healing). I feel like my libido is very low, which is incredibly frustrating because I can see that my girlfriend is very attractive, but can't really feel or do much about it. I'm also facing the prospect of waiting several months before going back to medical school, as I have now officially interrupted study due to my eye illness. I'll try to post updates every now and then, but I'd be really grateful if anyone could talk to me about this. It's killing me that I can't show my girlfriend properly how I feel. She's being so understanding about it, but it's really not fair on her. Thank you for reading.