21 Days Greater

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by Apeman, Sep 2, 2020.

  1. Apeman

    Apeman It means you're a baboon... And I'm not

    @Shady Thanks for the support, man!

    Day 15
    I survived.

    Things are starting to happen. My wife, who I have not told about my Nofap experiment, said my voice was deeper the other day. Today, she asked me where my sudden "mojo" was coming from. I just shrugged and played dumb. The benefits are real, guys.

    Speaking of mojo, my sex drive has shifted. For the last 2 weeks, when I did feel horny, I was horny for porn. But after surviving that difficult night on Sunday, I've found that my wife seems far more attractive. Today we had sex in the middle of the day--something we almost never do--with no DE or ED in sight. And I didn't feel like I had to do anything extra kinky to get off, whereas in the past it felt like there was no way I'd get off unless we did kinky stuff.

    All in all, feeling good. Here's to another clean day.

     
    realness, -Luke- and TrueSelf like this.
  2. TrueSelf

    TrueSelf Active Member

    This has been an undeniable benefit for me in the past as well. Sex is just so much more satisfying when not engaging with porn and I find my wife even more attractive.
    Thanks for the reminder!
     
  3. -Luke-

    -Luke- Well-Known Member

    I have had similar experiences in the past. When I have gone through a very difficult day with some huge urges, I got some sort of benefit a few days later.

    Keep up the "mojo". You are doing great!
     
  4. Apeman

    Apeman It means you're a baboon... And I'm not

    Day 16: The Chaser
    Many of you have heard of the Chaser Effect. For those who haven't: users of this form have noticed a spike in craving/libido/temptation in the immediate aftermath of any sex had while attempting a reboot.

    Well I definitely had a strong chaser going on on day 16. My sensitivity (mental, as in my sensitivity to sexual cues) was so extreme that I actually masturbated, and came, while reading a passage from Frank Herbert's Dune. Can you believe that?

    I know everybody has a different opinion of how damaging masturbation is compared to porn, and I know I started this challenge saying I would abstain from porn and masturbation... but personally, I see porn as the real threat. So I'm going to brush off this blip and continue on. In fact, I'm frankly astonished that, after a mere 2 weeks without porn, it was possible for me to read something like Dune and actually come. I see this as very good news; damaging as porn may be, it only takes a couple weeks to regain insane amounts of mental and physical sensitivity.
     
    realness likes this.
  5. realness

    realness Member

    Very cool to hear that you got a great reward of intimacy with your wife. Porn destroys so much of that intimacy and it is wonderful to hear how excited you were to be with her. Just simple things. And after a relatively short time! Keep it up brother, removing porn from your life. I'm now a dad with kids and it's scary and devastating that I haven't broken free yet from Porn. That it can damage my marriage and my kids. I can never be careful enough to manage my use or prevent its damage so I'm am in recovery to get rid of it.

    I've been wrestling in my recovery of where MO belongs. Like yesterday, just before I binged and relapsed, if I had made myself MO, would I be in better shape? Very likely. Porn is the big enemy. And someone on here said, stopping PMO first and then attacking MO is like breaking up a big problem into two smaller pieces. That's what I'm thinking now. But in earlier attempts at recovery there were times where MO led to the chaser effect and then the next day I'm moving into PMO. I guess every situation is different. The way my recovery is progressing now, with longer streaks between PMO binges, seems to support using MO as limited as possible to blow of steam. It also works as my wife and I are in a season of little intimacy, drowning in parenting little kids, and working on resentments and marriage issues.
     

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