[20M]Flatline (?!) and very bad mood after +60 days

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by LoyalKnight, Jul 16, 2019.

  1. LoyalKnight

    LoyalKnight New Member

    Here I am again. I've managed to pull myself out of a very shitty time... I reached 110 days in the past but feel deep.

    I felt a strong sexual desire to meet women until now and actually had a few dates as well (which is a great progress for me) during this streak.

    I wasn't getting ANY urges whatsoever until a few days ago. How do I feel now? (any urges to view P)

    I had great hope in myself and my abilities throughout most days and I was emotionally very expressive. I had such a great confidence and voice. All is gone now, I doubt myself extremely and feel just shitty as well. I lost my desire to go out and socialise, but getting urges for the first time in this streak (after over 60 days!). I don't know anymore. Why did my mood and confidence change to the opposite?

    I really had amazing superpowers until very recently. Dead real sexual drive, no confidence, loss of superpowers is what I've got. Not being able to enjoy music or other stuff anymore. A few days ago I started lightly eating sweet stuff again which I didn't ate during this streak at all......

    I cannot explain this to me. I've had countless streaks of 50,80 etc. Days during my last 3 years here. Seems like this period is where I've always relapsed again.

    Please people, say something..... I feel lost. Where did my real desire go.... Its dead.

    Yep, +60 days of hardmode and no PMO.
     
  2. Universal

    Universal Member

    "When you're going through hell, keep going."


    This quote holds real power here. The fact that you're experiencing a temporary low right now is proof that your brain is healing.

    Recovery is essentially 'PAWS' (Post acute withdrawal syndrome).

    The bad of what you are experiencing right now will come in waves. Then you will feel good again. And then another wave of bad will come. Just recognize that - If you stay clean - each time a new bad wave comes it will typically be shorter and less intense.

    You need to focus right now in just pushing through this bad phase. Eat well, get plenty of exercise, socialize as much as you can, sleep well, don't spend time on your phone/computer.

    Next time you're feeling good, go out and meet some women.
     
  3. LoyalKnight

    LoyalKnight New Member

    Thank you a lot. This is really giving me hope now.... That I'll have to go through hell. I've actually read that quote somewhere earlier.

    I thought that something was going wrong in my mind and head.... But I've read about recovery being like this before and you've just reassured me a lot. Thank you so much!

    Even if I feel bad and don't have the desire like before, does anything speak against socialising or trying to meet women? It doesn't, right?

    It's just another mechanism to uphold the status quo.....
     
  4. Universal

    Universal Member

    Definitely socialize, especially with good friends - it can help bring you out of bad states.

    I think meeting Women can really motivate us to push through. It helps us see what we are missing out on. It's very easy to get lost in the process of rebooting, seeing women is a good reminder to our brains that we're seeking real life connection.

    I think 60-90 days is a good amount of hardmode before meeting Women. I would however recommend that if you end up in bed with Women to just limit orgasms. If orgasms with a women give you bad symptoms, reduce how often you orgasm. You can still hug/kiss/sex just avoid finishing.
     
    Nuwanda likes this.
  5. doneatlast

    doneatlast Active Member

    Universal speaks well! There are ups and downs. The ups are great, but we can get cocky. The downs are awful, and we very easily lose sight that there is another "up" right around the corner.

    My own unprofessional belief is that most of our rewiring happens in the down times, because that is when we aren't giving in. That is when your porn brain learns "oh, I guess we don't get to do that right now..." and finds other things to occupy itself. I find it helpful to think of it like an intense work out... when you "feel the burn" is when you're really doing work to build new muscle. (I actually am not a fitness nut myself, so forgive me if the analogy isn't very good).

    I wouldn't discourage socialization with women, but be gentle with yourself. Don't be anxious. Don't put pressure on yourself to hit certain goals in how you relate to women. At age 20 you're not exactly fighting the clock. If you have a flatline, then just let it happen. Consider it a little vacation where you can go into "monk mode" and know you'll come out a better man, and a better boyfriend/husband/father/whatever to whatever women enter your life. A benefit to waiting until later on physical stuff is that when we're still stuck in porn mode, our brains tend to want to turn encounters into something porn-like, and we will experience arousal insofar as it resembles porn. I am not sure if it is most advisable to go into "monk mode" for everyone, but for those to whom it happens, I would definitely say count your blessings.
     
    Doper and Universal like this.
  6. Doper

    Doper Member

    ...No pain no gain.
     

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