2019 Resolution

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by ee6, Dec 31, 2018.

  1. ee6

    ee6 New Member

    I've been on here for at least 4 years. 2018 was essentially a write-off as far as any goals related to my habits is concerned - I didn't even really bother setting them. It was also a year of unnecessary anxiety and lack of companionship, due to my habits. I have failed many times - but worse - I've given up many times, and stayed in my hole for months at a time. Here are my goals for 2019:

    1) I'm going to have a streak counter for "last time viewed porn". The counter is not "Last time MO'd to porn". The counter will reset if I intentionally look at porn at all. PMOing is not going to be a thing.

    2) One of the MAJOR problems is that when I get urges, I intentionally look for literature online telling me that porn is okay - in other words, I search for an excuse to relapse. I'm also going to have a counter for that! In other words, I'm not going to allow myself to search for information online that would lead to me screwing up.

    3) I currently use PluckEye to block porn on my computer. It is very effective - however, I sometimes need to shut it off for various reasons - I may need to do something for my job that requires the blocker to be completely disabled, for example. But then I "forget" to turn it back on and next thing I know I've relapsed. The 2nd counter is also going to be tied to "keeping pluckeye off for longer than necessary".

    I may just make this all one counter - it sounds better that way. As you can see, I'm trying to go for the root causes. The bad news is that this is going to be EXTREMELY HARD. The urges are very real, and overwhelm my higher judgment, essentially making me a different person. When I've done this in the past, two months later I'm back to the same routine, as if I never did anything in the first place.

    Hopefully 2019 is going to be the year I turn it all around.
  2. Intothewild89

    Intothewild89 Active Member

    Good luck man. I’ll follow you writings here. A lot can change in your frame mind over two weeks, let alone two months. The vision of a previous relapse as time goes on makes it seem less perilous than we initially remembered it. 2 weeks is hard for me, and I have no idea what 2 months will look like. Here’s to the new year, friend!
  3. Merton

    Merton Well-Known Member

    I have never heard of pluckeye. Is it better than K9? Best of luck!

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