20 years old. Ongoing Life Transformation

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by toxicviper23, Jun 20, 2014.

  1. auzzie_mikey

    auzzie_mikey Well-Known Member

    very close man. cant afford any backsliding now. stay strong and disciplined.
     
  2. toxicviper23

    toxicviper23 Guest

    Yeah for real! This kind of thing has happened in the past. Except, I over the next few days I would keep letting the urges get to me and lose all my progress.


    Battle has started.
     
  3. lookingahead

    lookingahead To restore my inmost being. Staff Member

    Been there, done that. It's like I feel fine and I'm going about my day, but then I get triggered by something on Facebook, and I turn into another person when auto pilot kicks in. Just avoid the triggers the best you can, and when you're sober, use that time to build up your defenses to prepare for future triggers, most of which are unavoidable.
     
  4. toxicviper23

    toxicviper23 Guest

    Day 141


    Feeling pretty good today. Anxiety has worn off quickly. I feared I had screwed my brain beyond repair but alas shit seems to be working well.


    These little bursts are nothing compared to full blown PMO sessions, but it's still not acceptable and I need to cut them all out.


    Onward..
     
  5. ajdobbz22

    ajdobbz22 New Member

    propz bro keep it goin!!
     
  6. toxicviper23

    toxicviper23 Guest

    Day 145


    I've been feeling really damn good lately. Seriously, like everything is just looking up. My brain is beginning to stabilize. I'm a LOT more confident walking around. My presence is getting stronger and my libido is waking up.

    There's this girl I've known for a few years. She works at a coffee shop. I have gone there for years, like since I was 16 or 17 and she has always worked there. We're about the same age.

    I was going to get a drink and she was there. I hadn't seen her for like 5 months. In the past I was always anxious and slightly awkward talking to her. (Bless her heart, she's like the only girl that always saw past my awkwardness and treated me well anyways)

    Yesterday I was smooth as silk. Conversation flowed very well, and she was very into me. So good shit indeed.
     
  7. ajdobbz22

    ajdobbz22 New Member

    good to hear bro! keep up the intensity!!!
     
  8. auzzie_mikey

    auzzie_mikey Well-Known Member

    These are the fucking moments you look for and what we are ultimately. But just done fuck it up now.... always remember it can be gone in a flash
     
  9. toxicviper23

    toxicviper23 Guest

    Day 152

    I'm continuing to feel pretty damn good. It's slowly but surely getting much better. I'm confident walking around and my presence is growing stronger everyday.


    I have the energy to workout now. So I've been hitting the gym hard and eating a lot of fat, carbohydrates and protein. I've always been skinny. Basically I'm sick of living a mediocre lifestyle and seeing everyone surpass me in every way.


    I'm done with the bullshit and and I'm ready to unleash the beast. I need to be extremely muscular. This is vain as fuck, but my idea of success is when I can prove to everyone I know that I'm better than them in every single way.

    I need to be better looking, more muscular, better voice, higher intelligence, more famous, more successful, more money, GET ALL OF THE GIRLS! It needs to be obvious that I'm top shit. I want to shove it in the faces of people who have made fun of me, laughed at me, perceived me as weak etc etc..


    Seriously.. Those of us on here that haven't traditionally bad the best luck in life. We have the luxury of having all of these negative experiences. We have the potential to be better than any of the people that looked down upon us. As Larry Ellison put it, "I had all of the disadvantages required for success"


    It's very true shit! If you look into it, the MOST successful people in the world have come from shitty situations. I'm not talking just financial success. But Hollywood is littered with people who were bullied, homeless, etc etc..


    That's the secret. Use this to fuel the fire inside of you. You have to unleash the beast inside of you. Use that pure animal nature to destroy everything in your fucking path ;)
     
  10. toxicviper23

    toxicviper23 Guest

    Day 170


    I'm slowly and steadily getting better. I've been to a few parties since I've been back home. My presence is stronger, I'm smoother socially and confidence is a lot better.



    I still get urges but after 2 years, I'm a fucking master at avoiding them.




    I really need to get a girl to fuck on a regular basis. I think 100 percent abstinence will heal me over time, but actually having sex will speed up the process. So that's my next goal, getting a girlfriend I can have regular sex with.
     
  11. Youngfella

    Youngfella Active Member

    You can do it buddy! Give that girl the ride of a lifetime! ;D
     
  12. BryanHoward

    BryanHoward Keep your hands where I can see them

    Good luck sir - I can speak with experience that having a partner is the answer to "what do I do after I reboot?" The experience of sex/intimacy after years of pmo and avoidance is a sweet sweet thing - good luck!
     

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