2.9 years of sobriety- My journey in finding self-acceptance and inner peace

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by Freedom from Servitude, Mar 7, 2014.

  1. Freedom from Servitude

    Freedom from Servitude Active Member

    Thank you for this, it makes interesting reading. There seems to be two different schools of thought when it comes to sexual transmutation: that you just have to practice sexual continence or abstinence and the body will find a way naturally to channel the energy. The other one is that you have to have some form of meditation practice to visually circulate this energy.

    To answer your question, I'm not in a relationship at the moment and I currently have no sexual release, that includes no PMO or masturbation.
     
  2. Johhny Bravo

    Johhny Bravo Every temptation is another chance of life revival

    I get the guess youre seeking something beyond merely abstaining from porn and overcoming porn conditioning.

    Are you on a quest for immortality?

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_Tibetan_Rites

    One thing I have heard several times is you have to be **very careful ** when it comes to playing with these energies if you are sending it up your spine. Thus the need for a teacher of some older yoga to show how balancing these centers in the body is to be done. I have also heard a trap is people try to do it too quickly or when the centers are not "prepped" sufficiently to absorb a big tranfer of energy.

    Sadly I have no direct experience in this so cant share any real insights. Youre the master on this one if youve managed to go 2 years without a release.
     
  3. Freedom from Servitude

    Freedom from Servitude Active Member

    I am actively pursuing goals. I am also seeking greater happiness. I also am looking to help others when I can.

    Are you saying that merely having something other than sex and porn is all we need in order to channel sexual energy into other activities?

    I have read of similar stories which is why I am approaching these exercises with caution. I have found on occasion that I can get headaches after practising the microcosmic orbit meditation.
     
  4. Freedom from Servitude

    Freedom from Servitude Active Member

    28/01/2019

    I had a great time abroad with family members. I am going to refrain from going into any detail here for reasons of anonymity. Although I was feeling pretty weak last Sunday evening,I was just about well enough to go and enjoy the break. While I was away, I really enjoyed taking photographs of the city and have taken a great deal of satisfaction from looking through the photo album since. Photography is one of the hobbies that I have been cultivating lately, and its one that I can see myself pursuing further.

    Despite the pleasant break away, the week has not been without its challenges. I had lingering social anxiety about spending time with my family, though I attribute most of this due to the bug that was still affecting me at the time. Since coming back home, things have been pretty full on and I had a refresher driving lesson despite getting a flight back in the early hours of Friday morning. I worked the next day. For some reason, I found this highly triggering for my anxiety before hand despite the fact that I have done the same shift many times before. I even had insomnia the night before. The anxiety dissipated though at the beginning of the day and I was able to find a place of surrender. The day turned out fine as it always is and I was pleased with myself for having done a good day's work. I think that I have found the past few weeks more challenging than before Christmas because illness has meant that I haven't had the strength to do many of the things that help create a sense of control and greater confidence within myself. It has been reassuring for me to get back to normality over the last few days by getting on top of outstanding tasks and working once more on projects.

    One thing that I didn't mention in my last entry was the decision of my local recovery group to make the switch from SA to SAA. This came about because of the insistence of SA that we follow strictly their definition of sobriety which dictates that marriage should be the only form of relationship that sex should be practised in. So in other words, if you are abstinent from porn but having sex with the girlfriend, you are not sober in the eyes of SA. I believe this to be wrong for a number of reasons. As it turned out, the rest of the group felt the same, so we made the decision to join SAA which allows the individual to choose their own definition of sobriety based on their circumstances. It seems unusual that we were nearly two years as an SA group without this coming up before, yet we were a group founded by a few outsiders with little contact and guidance from the rest of the fellowship in the UK. At my local meeting we always thought that the marriage part of the definition was negotiable since it was only relevant depending on the religious outlook of the individual and their values. Insisting that all members follow this strict definition seems to contradict SA's mission to help people of all backgrounds, in my opinion. This business brought me a lot of stress while I was very unwell, and in my service position I worked hard to draw a neat line under it all before I went away. We have managed to part on good terms with SA while maintaining the unity of our group. This is the best possible outcome of the situation as far as I am concerned.
     
  5. Johhny Bravo

    Johhny Bravo Every temptation is another chance of life revival

    I joined SA for 8 weeks back then and also found this problematic.

    I found many things problematic despite the desire that i wanted to be with the group.

    My definition of "higher power" didnt get their agreement. And they said i was still in denial.

    You really have to see the world with your own eyes and trust yourelf.
     
  6. Freedom from Servitude

    Freedom from Servitude Active Member

    Just out of interest what was your higher power? Mine is the fellowship itself and the wisdom of mankind. It works for me.
     
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  7. Thelongwayhome27

    Thelongwayhome27 Active Member

    Thanks for the reply Freedom from Servitude, I really appreciate it and everything you wrote seems to make a lot of sense to me. On a theoretical level it kind of reassembles the conclusions I've reached as well (from experience) yet on the practical level I am still stumbling and caught up in the cycle of "recovery" and then relapses ; I'm still struggling in implementing these conclusions skillfully enough. Thus, it is good to hear this from someone who has made further progress into stable long term recovery then me. I really liked, in particular, how at the end you wrote about achieving a combination of both the element of abstinence and the element of working on the underlying issues which fuel the addiction. In my case I suspect I have pretty deep self esteem problems which I am still not addressing correctly enough, despite some improvements. Hence, despite good periods, I'm still relapsing when a lot of negative emotions build up over time (frustration, fear, shame, anger, helplessness, etc.). In my darker moments post relapse I've been considering some kind of SA group, indeed, but part of me is scared about doing that. At this point I'm considering discussing my compulsions in therapy which is something I haven't done yet.
     
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2019
  8. Johhny Bravo

    Johhny Bravo Every temptation is another chance of life revival

    Higher power was the future version of me who already achieved what I am (was) seeking to achieve now. The future version of me already perfect in whatever you can define that and is connected to everyone else.

    So I had to surrender to this higher power- future me- and the group
     
  9. Freedom from Servitude

    Freedom from Servitude Active Member

    There is nothing wrong with that in my opinion. In the fellowship, we say to choose a higher power that works for you. There's no point in picking up someone else's choice if its not working for you.

    A key principle of the 12 steps are inclusivity and openness. Occasionally, individuals forget that and try to impose their own beliefs on others and I think that you were an unfortunate victim of that. Since my local group transitioned to SAA, it really has hit home how conservative SA is as a fellowship. Aside from the marriage issue, in my dealings with the fellowship in the UK, the vast majority of the members of this fellowship are Christian. The fellowship is also blind on homosexuality- you are not sober if you are having homosexual sex. SA claims to be open to people of a variety of backgrounds but I think that there is an organisational bias towards a particular right-wing interpretation of Christianity. I wasn't fully aware of all of these points until the intergroup raised them with us. I suppose with hindsight there were warnings before hand that I may have turned a blind eye to for the sake of my sobriety. I currently feel satisfied that we have made the decision to change fellowships and I felt at the meeting last night that we are are more at home being in the SAA fellowship.
     
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2019
  10. Freedom from Servitude

    Freedom from Servitude Active Member

    11/02/2019

    I have embarked on an experiment with my sexuality. I used to think that it was possible to go without any sexual release without consequence, but I have come round to the idea that it might be harmful. In my case, I have been single for the past two and half years or so that I have been sober. During that time I cut out MO as well as PMO because it was the most reliable way to stop me looking for porn. While I think this is a temporary measure that is necessary for a lot of recovering sex addicts, its not a long term solution. Of course, the ideal is that we end up having sex with a partner, but that option hasn't been available to me. I think repression of my pent up sexual energy over my sobriety has contributed to the anxiety I feel.

    I have noticed from doing yoga on and off for two months that I feel generally more confident and less anxious, after mindfully connecting with my inner sexual energy. It may just be a coincidence but I was i a relatively calm place in the build up to me chairing the TM meeting for the first time ever this week. Usually, that kind of event is enough to keep me anxious for days. Like I said, its a superficial link, but I have also noticed greater level of confidence after doing these exercises when I went to work away shortly after Christmas.

    Recently, I have wondered whether this is only going half-way to the full acceptance of my sexuality. I have successfully channelled my sexual energy into many activities but this isn't the same as fully embracing my sexuality and giving it expression. I think that sex is a fundamental human need that needs to be addressed as part of a healthy human psyche. With sex out of the picture, the only way for me to do this is through masturbation.

    Before I go into that, I think its relevant to mention the general fear I have around sexuality. A friend of mine introduced me to the term sexual anorexia, and I have been looking into this since. I think it describes me pretty well. I have always had some shame around my sexuality, and another layer of anxiety was added to it by the addiction. My sexuality became associated with danger and self-destruction. Also, since entering sobriety, fear of intimacy has been closely connected with the fear of doing anything sexual that it will undermine my recovery on a physiological level. I haven't done anything to address this, I have repeatedly dismissed any sexual pangs as cravings to act out.

    I think that masturbation when done in a healthy and mindful way, without fantasy and porn flashbacks, can be a way of developing self-intimacy, self esteem and overcoming my sexual anorexia. I also wonder whether it could help re-wire the brain to normal sexuality, though, of course, it doesn't compare to sex. I have also been reading about Tantric masturbation and how it can help with emotional healing as well as give a positive and loving expression to sexuality. I have been allowing myself to masturbate in the healthy way I have described for the last few days. I ejaculated pretty quickly the first time round, and manage to stave it off the second time for around 20 minutes before losing control. I definitely have some PE which is not a surprise given a history of chronic porn use and the absence of any sexual release. This will be overcome with time.

    I find a conventional orgasm though absolutely draining and I miss having the built up sexual energy around where I can channel into multiple projects. There is a noticeable difference, its not pseudo-scientific nonsense. Eventually, I would like to be able to learn how to have a dry orgasm, which according to traditional Tantra is a way of conserving sexual energy that is wasted in ejaculation.

    Online there are few guys about who have been able to make a success of it, so its not something that is a myth. To be able to achieve a dry orgasm, the individual has to have a strong pelvic floor and be willing to practice. After reading a book and several articles, I have decided to masturbate on a daily basis, lovingly caressing myself and ideally avoiding orgasm when possible. At the same time, I will remain aware of whether there is a danger of it becoming addictive and whether it pushes me towards looking at porn. So far, there is no sign of any of this. I have also been practising kegals three times a day to develop my PC muscles to help me control the ejaculation reflex. Ultimately, a dry orgasm is something that can be quite difficult to learn to do. It is an ideal to aim for but its not the main reason why I have started to masturbate. What I want to really do is to demonstrate to myself that I can give expression to my sexuality in a healthy and balanced way without danger. In the process, I hope that this will make me happier. And if it doesn't, I can always just go back to being abstinent. I am confident that I have acquired the level of self control and recovery to choose.
     
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  11. Thelongwayhome27

    Thelongwayhome27 Active Member

    Good luck exploring this Freedom From Servitude. I was in awe that you managed 2+ years without even MO. Personally if I could only MO once a week and nothing more in the context of being single, I would be satisfied with such a result. It never worked though and I suspect, in my case, MO leads back to PMO which leads back to the sex addiction, hence my current counter lol.
     
  12. Freedom from Servitude

    Freedom from Servitude Active Member

    Thank you. In the beginning, I found exactly the same- that masturbation always led me to watching porn. This was the key reason why I decided not to MO for so long. I would always recommend a newcomer trying to give up porn and masturbation at the same time. It takes a while to develop the restraint to separate them as two distinct activities. That said, I was in a borderline relapse situation Thursday evening, I don't think that masturbation contributed to this in a big way, it was more to do with the fact that I have been careless in responding to trigger situations over the past few months, and surprise, its caught up with me. For the time being I am cutting out masturbation until I get a period of stability behind me again. Solo Karezza, or Tantric masturbation is something that I am interested in exploring in the future. If I am right in thinking that I have PE, it could be a good way of overcoming that.
     
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2019
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  13. Freedom from Servitude

    Freedom from Servitude Active Member

    16/02/2019

    I was ill again this week for the third time this winter. The last time I was ill was just a month ago. This one has been a short bug. It soon took place after I unintentionally ejaculated last Saturday. As symptoms came on pretty quickly after I climaxed, I have seriously wondered whether I experienced the Post Orgasmic Illness Syndrome. Supposedly, people experience flu-like symptoms that disappear within a few days to a week since the last orgasm. This has reflected my experience. I had a headache, joint pain and a sore throat which disappeared within a few days. The insomnia lasted a bit longer, and the last to go has been the post nasal drip and congestion. I am nearly a week from the last orgasm now and I am feeling 98% towards my usual health.

    It is difficult to be sure whether I have experienced POIS. The trouble is that there is not a lot of information online from people who have experienced these symptoms as a result of this addiction to communicate with. I am certainly not going to be in a hurry to ejaculate again. If not for risk of illness, I find it very draining of my vitality. There is definitely something to semen retention, I feel as though I have more energy and focus when I abstain from the orgasm. I am planning on doing this for the future.

    I have had to cut out masturbation altogether because I found myself in another dangerous situation that put me on the verge of relapse. I don't think the masturbation had much to do with it, but the orgasm may have intensified the cravings I have been resisting. The main reason for ending up in this situation is that in my complacency, I have repeatedly ignored triggers to act out and situations that stimulate cravings. In particular, I had been reading about Tantra with mixed motivations. One the one hand was the genuine desire to learn how to circulate sexual energy, the other motivation was the addiction that got a kick from seeing occasional sexualised images that almost always appear on these sites. I had noticed once or twice, it was even a way of procrastinating from doing something more worthwhile. I think this may have reanimated the addictive pathways in my brain because I haven't had cravings so intense when I found myself in deep water on Thursday, for over two years. I felt the same sense of powerlessness as the old days; that I would never be whole again if I did not get my fix.

    Waking up with porn flashbacks going on inside my head, Thursday morning, I eventually found myself tempted to peek at some triggering images of a model on Instagram. Very quickly, I closed the laptop before I really got to see much. I found the cravings so intense that the usual reaching out by text didn't help very much. When I spoke to my SAA fellows on the phone, I had short-term reprieve, but it wasn't quite enough to stop me from getting into trouble. This is significant as I have found over the past two years that calling has always been sufficient to tackle a craving, but that night it wasn't. After reaching out to a friend of mine at the local meeting, I thought that it would be a good idea to install K-9 and StayFocused on my new laptop. I had convinced myself that I was strong enough not to need them when I got my new computer in January, so I didn't install these filters. It was a big mistake in hindsight and I now remember of the numerous times while entering the procrastination zone, how this software has given me a valuable breathing space to choose recovery every time I have been tempted to indulge in addiction. As I visited the news and social media websites that I wanted to block, I was triggered again into looking for sexualised images and that's when I found myself in the situation I described at the beginning of the paragraph. It was a short episode, but the effect was dramatic and I am sure I would have relapsed there and then if it hadn't been for the blind luck of being able to listen to that lone voice of reason in my mind at the time.

    Yesterday was really tough, but I got through it, and I chatted with a few of my SAA fellows again. I am so grateful for their support, they saved me from doing something that I would completely regret. I chatted to a guy in Germany and he suggested finding a higher power other than myself. As a non-religious person with a carefully considered stance on spiritual matters, a while ago I chose my inner wisdom and the group as my higher power. He told me that even though he wasn't a member of any religion, he found it helpful to pray to a God that was simply greater than him. Don't worry about the details and the philosophy he said, if it works, it works. I was in a desperate situation, so I felt that there was in no harm in giving it a shot. I have to say, as hard as I find it difficult to understand, the power those cravings have over me has been considerably weaker just through the act of prayer. In the time that has lapsed since yesterday afternoon , I have moved well away from feeling in crisis into a much safer space.

    However, I don't want to become one of those users on these forums that work so hard to get lasting sobriety only to fall. That's why I have got to go back to basics and review my written strategies, effectively respond to my trigger situations and look after myself better. I have been feeling run down on illness lately and i can't avoid that, but I have also been neglecting my social needs. I have been going to my SAA and TM group, though still find myself wanting to be more social. That's a good thing, so I have arranged to do stuff with friends over the next few weeks. Finally, I want to carry on making progress towards my goals. I have been doing quite well on that front, but there have been one or two that I have made stagnant progress towards. Online dating is one. I haven't received much in the way of a response from the ladies online, but I haven't quite mustered the confidence to take a more proactive approach with it either.
     
  14. jack91

    jack91 Find your way throuh Staff Member

    Interesting freedom. You are about to give some serious progress away. Earlier on i would have speaked strongly against it but now im unsure. I mo alot and have felt less and less symptoms from it and enjoy it. It have become to be pure hobby. In a sense i dont hate myself after the sessions rather i feel fine, released and sorta good even . Still this hasnt raised my confidence. Im still middle of my studies and my answer at this moment is;

    Avoid porn it causes hella lot of problems
    Mo as little as possible but when screw ups hapen dont sweat them. They are not dangerous.
    I have changed my sexuality towards girls. Porn is unnatural real girls is greatly purer experience. Brain likes.
    I mo and see girls cuddle with them etc and am sexually as happy person as possible regarding my situation but still no any soft of social confidence through brain resetting ybrb myths.

    I fear answer is 7years of total sobriety.
     
  15. Freedom from Servitude

    Freedom from Servitude Active Member

    Hi Jack, thanks for posting. It is good to see you back. I don't quite understand what you mean when you write that I am about to give some serious progress away?

    As I said in my last post, I have been playing it safe by avoiding masturbation for the time being. I have had a good week so far and I have been in no more dangerous triggering situations. I am not sure what to make of masturbation at the moment. I am going to give masturbation of a tantric loving kind a go again to see where it leads and whether there is any benefit to be had from it. I want to avoid MO whenever possible because i like having the built up sexual energy that I can do to channel into other things. There is definitely a difference in a week of no orgasm. I will be approaching masturbation with super caution in case it puts me in a position where I want to use porn. I've managed to avoid porn for two years and eight months now and I plan for that to continue.

    I really wouldn't look too much into those success stories, there is a lot that they do not tell you about an individual.It is easy to make superficial assumptions connecting ongoing personal difficulties with porn addiction. What I have often noticed about the 90 days success stories that seem so upbeat about social life, is that their authors often had a social life before their addiction. I think social confidence is mostly something that is built for us. The key is stop wasting time watching porn and being more social. It takes a while to build confidence and I think our brains can sometimes be slow to change. However, I can only say from my own experience that through repeatedly pushing myself out of my comfort zone, my social confidence has come on leaps and bounds since I started this journal. Pushing myself out of my comfort zone has only been part of the story, there has been a lot of stuff I have been trying too. That's one of the reasons why I keep this journal so that others may benefit from my journey.
     
  16. jack91

    jack91 Find your way throuh Staff Member

    giving serious progress away" i meant that you give long streak away its for long time been widely accepted that abstaining is the key and best way to go just that so few can manage it. you can. Its something special. but even me could not do it and have walked towards my own truth. trying everything out :D
    My end game would be to pmo symptoms to stop, to talk freely without restrains and seem to be strong character and furthermore love way i act.
    Im just confused that i have not found the way yet. And everyone try with their own style and methods. for love of god , thank god i have not been watching porn tough. Thats whats most important.

    Okay. Tantric loving selfsex sounds very cautious step i think the mo addiction is something to watch out not the act of moing itself. With me as addictive personality i easily do everything too much. If you truly have won your addiction and can do the practice as few times you want then you truly are above the MO.

    keep us posted!
     
  17. Freedom from Servitude

    Freedom from Servitude Active Member

    That's why I was confused by what you wrote, because I haven't given a long streak away. I haven't touched porn. The triggering situation I spoke about involved losing control briefly and peeking at non-nude images on Instagram. I stopped it within a minute when I regained sanity and closed down the laptop. That's not a relapse in my book. There are images like that everywhere that can't always be avoided. It is how you respond to those situations that really matters. Do you allow yourself to gorge on artificial erotica and look at porn, or choose another path? My mistake was just allowing myself to get complacent and going that far into trigger territory. It's one that I will not be making again, and I haven't within the past week.

    I never have considered masturbation a problem. I gave it up for such a long time because MO makes quitting porn harder. However, I think masturbation to fantasy can be unhelpful. As I have said in my previous posts, for a number of reasons tantric masturbation, is something I think could be quite beneficial for me at my stage in recovery. If it isn't and I find that it puts me closer to relapse situations, then I can just stop it. I am confident that I have the level of control now to make it work.But you are absolutely right, the inner addictive personality is a definitely a risk that I have be vigilant towards.

    I can't help but wonder whether there is a certain level of self-rejection in your post , Jack? I have been wondering about this with myself lately. I think what we really need is to understand ourselves and to accept ourselves for the unique individuals that we are. I can be pretty confident socially, but I think that there will always be that inner sense of social awkwardness and that's OK. You must have a certain level of confidence, otherwise you wouldn't have been able to get those women you have had sex with to bed! I do wonder whether we start to create trouble for ourselves when we reject our reality and cling to some fantasy of perfection. We often struggle to control the world to a perfect fantasy and when we inevitably can't, we act out and try to get it through the pleasure of porn/sex.

    I'm Freedom from Servitude, and I'm a unique and imperfect human being who will go through life in their own imperfect way, I'm not James Bond. I remember you saying that you have Aspergers Syndrome, and its pretty normal to have difficulty in interacting with people. You can get better at it, a friend of mine certainly has over the years, but you can't escape the reality of who you are. More importantly, you shouldn't try to, because you are brilliant as you are.

    I'm just transferring this part of a post I made in the PE thread because it is a good checkpoint for the journal. I had a very pleasant masturbation session last night. I masturbated in a gentle way, in a solo-karezza fashion, abstaining from orgasm. I kept on going for an hour and then decided to stop. Now I allowed myself to stop the stimulation every so often during which I would also flex the PC muscles, to avoid hitting orgasm. However, once I hit a very relaxed place within myself- almost like a meditative state, the urge to ejaculate were considerably weaker. I could keep on stroking myself for long periods of time without having to stop. Anxiety, I think, is definitely a factor with PE.

    I have also noticed that I am more likely to hit orgasm quickly if I have been exposed to a trigger beforehand. This could be an advertisement, a sexual fantasy or anything else. It is as though the body prepares for a quick ejaculation. Instead, I think it helps to wait for yourself to calm down, and then focus on the calm and loving sensations in the body. I feel more emotionally balanced this morning without the energetic depletion of orgasm. I also feel sexually satisfied, I haven't had cravings to look at porn. It will be interesting to see where this experiment goes in the future.
     
  18. jack91

    jack91 Find your way throuh Staff Member

    I at the time used word asperger because its goodway to describe me atm. It symbols that i took lots of pain and lots of rejection and my brain changed much from porn and drug lifestyle. After that its been good self diagnose. before i did not have any trouble performing in this world socially, mentally or physically so autistic would not be accurate description because it labels anyone retarted and thats retarted in general. Its just word that doesnt really tell much and what i have seen are not really understood or handled right at all.
    Its deeply personal area of my life that i have thankfully been able to ignore for all my life but seems those times are over as part of neurodegerative part of porn/drug addiction i have changed so drastically that i must go in this world as a autistic because that i am, nothing bad in it if you ask me but problem is stigma it causes and sort of self-resentment. I must come to be terms in it and groups are good place to do that!

    Yeah, self discovery is only route left for me but i would hope that there is more to it than weighty thoughts about own mistakes and errors! i would love to it being trip of love with others, there is nothing about myself i cant love but issues i have are more of the sort i have lost my mojo, when i gain it back whether as a result of groups, self studying or just finding my humour again and groving balls back, then there is nothing to stop me! Im sure i find things of interest in this life

    And back to asperger, something about that irritates me, like its knife to my forehead when someone speaks of it, like i dont belong to "normal" category and as great that would be im placed to "retarted" category instaed, its wrong kind of special if you ask me.
    When autism is truly loved and respected i cant fully accept being one, otherwise there would be no problem. Thank god im different i think, its always been my pride. Thats why i want to share love for everyone and especially for different people, nothing worse than everyone being the same, we should be as different and unique we can that way our world would be greater experience, full of odd birds and birds of everytype. And as i write this i think there truly are lots of different people and i think they should not be labeled to anything, it just ruins the fun!
     
  19. Freedom from Servitude

    Freedom from Servitude Active Member

    I have made the decision to reduce my activity on this forum, checking in and posting on my journal here around once a month. I have been evaluating how I spend my time lately, and I have been spending a lot of it here writing lengthy posts here and commenting on threads. On the surface, there is nothing wrong with that, I have got a lot from doing it, but its becoming a big absorber of time that could be better invested in other activities that make more of a difference to my life. Another thing is, I have noticed that this forum has become an avenue for procrastination, and the latter is one of the biggest triggers I have for acting out. I have had a rough ride with the addiction lately. I haven't relapsed but I have become pretty close, so I am going back to basics and am taking extra care to avoid trigger situations. Masturbation is also off the cards too for the next three months at least.

    I will check in again at the end of the month to post an update of how I am doing. Thanks everyone
     
  20. Pete McVries

    Pete McVries Active Member

    All the best FfS. Even though, I was never actively contributing or posting in your journal, I've always followed your path and progress and surely, I've learned a lot. Wishing you all the best! Your posts planted a seed in my mind to got to a SAA meeting and I think, I'll do it next week. Maybe, it'll not be for me but I'll never know until I've tried it.
     

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