This is my first post on here so please forgive me if I make mistakes. I am 17 and I have a very unique porn addiction. If you're willing to read all I have to say I would absolutely love your input on what I should do. When I began watching porn I was about 11 or 12. I don't remember exactly. Ever since then it has been a part of my daily life. Everyday I masturbated to it at least once. Now, it has gotten out of control. When I started realizing i had a problem I was about 15 when my family and I moved to a place with no internet for 9 months. I constantly fed off my neighbors wifi to watch porn. Then when we finally got it, I got deeper into the addiction. Now I haven't exactly had a normal teenage life. Sadly i missed out on most if not everything that normal teens experience in their life. When I was 13 my family took me out of school because my grandmother was sick from throat cancer. Their plan was to homeschool me and put me back in public school a couple of months or a year after she healed. She died, and I guess the loss of her rocked my entire family because I haven't had an education since then except from what I learn online. I'm a shutin. I have been since she passed. I play my games, go in the kitchen when I need food. Watch and talk to my mother and father, even go outside occasionally, but mostly only when I HAVE to. I'm obese and short and feel completely useless to myself and those around me. I'm antisocial and I really really do not like interacting with people unless I have to. When I do it's nice because i think I'm very good with conversation. I just don't want to approach people, and I assume because of all these problems is why I've gone deeper into porn for the past 2 years. 2 years ago literally right after my 16th birthday normal porn got less and less interesting, and I know when that starts to happen you search for harder things to quench that lust but at the time I didn't know that. For some reason I wasn't drawn to harder things, I was drawn to things I simply was not attracted to. Things that I seriously didn't enjoy at all. It's like how people say “I'll never end up doing this or that" and then turn out years later doing those things they hated. The kind of porn I began watching was hypnosis type porn. Humiliation things. Stuff that made you get off on the shame you felt for doing them. Specifically Sissy hypnosis. For those who don't know what that is, it is hypnosis porn that is intended to effeminate your subconscious mind. Flashing images, subliminal messages, whispering you cannot hear but your subconscious can. It is meant to turn a “Normal" male porn watcher (if there is such a thing) into a mindset of a transexual. Its intentions are some of the darkest and most perverted things I've seen. I began watching it out of curiosity and it escalated into not just making me question my sexuality but into changing my mind on a subconscious level. I can no longer enjoy normal porn or porn with girls even though I am not attracted to males in any way. At this point idk if rebooting will be enough to fix the damage ive done to my mind. I cant stand to look in the mirror anymore and i simply have no idea what I can do to reverse the effects porn has had on me.