Success Story Report: I have successfully quit porn and intentional masturbation about a year and a half ago. I have zero urges or desires to visually examine porn or any artificial online sexual stimulation. I have lost this desire to watch porn a very, very long time ago. I have a girlfriend now and we make love, and the high I feel making love and connecting with her is 1,000x better than wanking to porn or without porn as well. I didn't consider ever writing a success story thing. I stopped using all forums a very long time ago, but when a friend of mine suggested "hey I am thinking of quitting porn" then it made me think of how I decided to quit a long time ago and made my decision private. I didn't tell anyone, I didn't ask or require an accountability partner (I have in previous years unsuccessfully though) and am/was successful now. My decision to quit porn was private. I told no-one, not out of fear or shame but out of a commitment of strength. This post will be brief and to the point. In it I will outline the strategies I used that made quitting porn and masturbation **very, very EASY**. I need to emphasise that quitting porn was very easy and simple. With these strategies I used, I never found it a challenge or difficult or a battle. It was easy. I was sold from day one with these tactics, and every day just got easier and laughably simple to quit porn that I cant imagine why I didn't try these things years and years ago. Past History with porn Began watching porn as a young child. Had high sex drive as a child. When I was about 15 I tried to quit masturbation and porn. Unsuccessful bar 1-2 weeks here and there. This has repeated over the years. I have been successful going 1-2-3 weeks maximum of no porn and wanking whilst utilising Pickup Art movement to try and get a girlfriend. I was largely unsuccessful quitting porn despite having good dating and flirting skills. Got a girlfriend (my first girlfriend) few years back. I was still watching porn and wanking after we became "official." She knew and she didn't mind. Had many, MANY, MANY opportunities with very hot women. Never had sex drive to connect with them. Found them unattractive or weird. History with Women. Total Virgin or Player? I learned pickup when I was 19. I got very, very skilled and good at it. In fact I worked as a pickup coach for a well known PUA company (I wont mention names here) for a few months before deciding to branch off and try my own business. The reason I am mentioning this is for context for my decision to do nofap. Some men choose to do nofap to try and get a girlfriend. This is valid, and indeed was my early motivation. I can makeout with women. I am confident. I have balls of steel with the confidence game. I have dated my university professor (a hot woman in her 40s), work colleages, friends, random women I meet during pickup. I have had sex with many, many escorts. I am sexually fairly experienced. I have dated escorts as well. A lot of my early motivations for trying nofap was to try and succeed with women and get a real life girlfriend. It worked.....until I began using porn again. As I said, I would abstain for 1-2 weeks and in this time my results with real life women were amazing. All women issues were solved every single time I abstained. I want to say I met my first girlfriend during a period of nofap. Whether it is placebo or not, who cares? It worked for me. Previous History of Unsuccessful Attempts of Nofap I tried nofap for multiple reasons. Every time I tried, it would be a slightly different motivation; I wanted the super powers, I wanted to feel more masculine, I wanted to have sex better, I wanted to enjoy life more, I wanted self-mastery, I wanted to stop a habit I felt previously ashamed about. I had been trying 6-7 years unsuccessful. (My) Unsuccessful Strategies when Failing NoFap: ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER: I would speak with friend about a decision to stop porn and wanking. He was supportive. He would say to text him or call him every day I was successful for a period of 4 weeks. It worked. After the 4 weeks though I began using porn again EXERCISE, HOBBIES, MEDITATION- These items worked for distraction but did not fully credit to me quitting porn. They distracted me for a few hours or days and then I would watch porn again. THERAPIST: I saw 3x therapists or psychologists over the course of these years. When I saw them, they were supportive and said I was watching porn to block out emotional pain. They all said, in my way or another, that I needed to quit cold turkey and be strong. Be hard, tough and just do it. I would be successful with therapists for a few weeks, until I could no longer afford $ them and would watch porn again. GROUP SUPPORT GROUP: I joined a religious support group to try and quit porn. I felt weird telling the group I wanted help quitting porn. Many of them encouraged me to not be hard on myself and keep using it. Many normalised the use of porn. Many told me sex was fine. Even when I gave them a more sophistacted reason for wanting to quit porn they didn't seem to understand. One or two members in the group were very supportive and served as accountability partners. This was very successful, until after a few weeks I decided to stop having the accountability due to personality clashes with the culture of the group. 12 STEP SEX ADDICTION GROUP: I joined a 12 step group for porn and the members were very successful. a lot of them had gone many months without watching porn. Again, I was able to go a few weeks clean with them but then had big arguments about the religious cult nature of (this particular) group and quit. When I quit, I also quit my nofap streak a few days later. BRUTE FORCE: This worked many times for a few days until I relapsed. Change was not deep or sincere enough. What Changed this Time? What was my new motivation to Try? There was a woman I was dating and have had play-sex with. Making out etc....I notice as I was making out with her, whilst I mentally desired her, I physically was limp. She kept inviting me over to her house all the time for sex and casual love making, and I never agreed. I didn't have the motivation or desire to but was still watching porn at least once a day on average. One night, she invited me over and I declined. I didn't have any other plans and I was free to see her but chose not to. But the next day, I was questioning myself. "Why is it I am always scared to have sex with women? Why is it that I have dated super models, hot older women, all sorts of women, and all of them always seem to fall up short? Why is it when I have sex with (some of) these women I never can get hard or cum?" And I was sick of it. I was sick of living an existence where I could not even have a normal relationship and sex life. All I wanted was to find real life women hot again, as I did when I was a young child before I knew what porn was and had access to it. My goal was to find this particular real life woman super hot and have sex with her. Was it that much to ask? New Strategies that worked and led me to ONE + YEAR PERMANENT SUCCESS I read Psycho Cybernetics. After I read it, I decided I was just going to create a new self image. A new person, I was NOT going to 'be myself.' I was going to pretend I was a person who had already quit porn and who had already 'been there done that' sort of person. I was going to do Method Acting and act my way into becoming a person whom fictionally never watched porn in the first place. I made a commitment, "this is who I am as of now" and just 'stayed in character' for a few days. Easy. No urges to look at porn. Every time I clicked on something that gave me a slight hint of sexual suggestion I IMMEDIATLY closed the browsing window and just re-began my internet browsing if I was using the internet. I deleted my facebook and Instagram account. I deleted all my history and saved porn on my phone. I banned myself from paying $ for any escorts and viewing escort internet pages. I also did Hypnosis. I hypnotised myself to become a person who was strong, in control, made decisions and followed through on all goals with single minded focus. I created a new self image and acted according to it I used self-hypnosis and I paid for a hypnosis course to assist brainwash myself that I was a new person I watched a lot of Derren Brown videos to suggest that hypnosis was possible I loved and accepted myself regardless of my choice to use porn or not. I came to a point where I said "look, if I cant give up porn no matter what, I still choose to love and accept myself." Success. I met a girl on day 40ish and made love with her soon. she is now my girlfriend for over a year. I don't watch porn at all or even have the slightest urge to. I SLEEP BETTER, I am happier, I have more mental energy, I am emotionally so much happier and cheerful and optimistic. I am more of a risk taker and more assertive. Thankyou, and final words: Quitting porn is NOT what you want. What you want is an 'excuse' to become a person who is STRONG, IN CONTROL of their destiny, and EMPOWERED. Quitting porn is just a demonstration and permission slip to yourself that you are now empowered. CHOOSE to be EMPOWERED BEFORE YOU START and you will EASILY quit porn on day 1 WITH ZERO EFFORT. Happy to answer any questions
Nope. I slept better doing nofap strangely. I had a limp dick for bout 2 weeks. But i didnt think about sex at all deliberately until after i got laid, so, i didnt really even notice nor was bothered even if i did get limp dick. Some mornings get morning wood. Some mornings i dont.
Hi Johnny, great story. I particularly liked how you have explained what works for you and what hasn't. I'm a member of a 12 step group, and have found their help invaluable in my recovery. It sounds as though you had a bit of bad luck with that 12 step meeting you attended. Although the programme has its origins in Christianity, and, by its nature, a lot of the attendees to meetings are religious, groups should always be open in practice. I'm fortunate that my local group has kept within this tradition.Thank you for sharing. I am interested in your experience with hypnosis. I quit porn and masturbation over two years ago now, but I still have persistent anxiety and depression. I have and continue to try a lot of approaches, but hypnosis is one that I haven't tried. Can you recommend any good books or any other resources? Have you had any experience with anxiety and depression? I also am interested to hear of your opinion what is the best way to approach finding a girlfriend. I don't have any experience with the opposite sex but want to get into a relationship. I gather from your other posts on this forum that you don't rank online dating highly.
Thanks for reading my post. Hypnosis does it work? Oh you bet. In fact, it works so well that you need to be very careful about which particular hypnosis tracks you are going to listen to. I do not recommend any books; you don't need books unless you want to learn theories on how the brain works or how to hypnotise other people. There was a hypnosis I utilised, and, after about 4 days of listening to it (mp3 with earphones), changes began showing in my behaviour. I become more....different....I wont mention specific character traits because I don't think it matters. I literally became a new person very rapidly. I was interacting with friends differently, I was setting boundaries with people fast, I was up out of bed in the morning as soon as I opened my eyes. I actually had to STOP listening to this particular hypnosis because I was becoming too aggressive with people and I noticed my blood pressure was through the roof. I switched to a new hypnosis track. So I can recommend some items: https://www.learningstrategies.com/Paraliminal/Home.asp Some tips: listen to it first thing in the morning use REPETITION with these hypnotic tracks. Do not judge anything until at least after 2 weeks of use, every single day You do not have to focus on the words the hypnosis is saying. Just let it wash over you. Pick one which most strongly resonates with you Hypnosis works. But as I said, it works so well that you need to be careful. If you pick a hypnosis item which isn't in your best interests the results can be very dangerous. The website I have linked to you is safe and I have used the self-esteem paraliminal on there before. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. Yes, if you learn pickup, your depression and self-esteem issues can certainly be helped. Google for a pickup group in your area (they used to be referred to as 'lairs', so, if you live in Chicago, google Chicago pua lair). Ideally, go and meet a mentor. This stuff is quite tricky to learn by yourself and I will explain why: you need to break a few self-imposed social taboos you give yourself, and only a mentor can properly teach you that. Pickup is just learning to talk to strangers and people. Forget needing to talk to just girls, you need to learn to socially bounce with people in general. If you SEE someone behaving a certain way, it will influence your behaviour FASTER and DEEPER, opposed to just hearing about it through rumours etc... If I met you in person, and you were determined to quit porn, I would force you to do some hypnosis because I believe in it that strongly. Sadly, this is only an online forum and as such social influence is limited. A pickup guy I liked back in the day- you can watch a seminar of his online- is Sasha Daygame. He has since retired the pickup scene but his teachings are great because he is ultra simple, ultra congruent with his behaviour and I used his content to kiss many girls fresh off the street after only learning pickup for 2 days with my mentor.
I will look into hypnotism. Can hypnotism be done in conjunction with other approaches? It sounds as though you have benefited from it enormously. So you recommend approaching women in the streets as a way of initiating relationships? I live in the UK, and its not usually the done thing over here, but that's not to say that it shouldn't be tried. I will similarly see if there any pickup groups in the area as I see it is something that I could benefit from.
I recommend you listen to yourself and trust yourself and make YOUR own decisions. Watch some Derren Brown stuff on youtube a few times and you wont need any further convincing on hypnosis.
Hi Freedom, I used to suffer from anxiety and depression quite a lot, when I was younger, even leading to occasional panic attacks, there was a book I read at one time which did help a lot, I'm pretty sure it was Embracing the Fear by Judith Bemis https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/22312083-embracing-the-fear I think from Johhny Bravo's comment of "I still choose to love and accept myself" that he has also used EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) which I do use occasionally myself and in the past cured the phobia of wasps I used to have. This one's good to just mirror
Yes I was taught EFT by a mentor for belief change work. EFT is great especially when done with intent to relax the muscles and neutralise any 'sting' something may have. I feel sorry for people who just label EFT as pseudo science immediatly without even trying it. EFT is free and quick to learn. One just needs to practise and use it on daily items.
' I'm so glad you have shared this JB it is really helpful to hear from someone who has succeeded, very encouraging. Thank you sooooo much. Is it Psych-Cybertnetics by Maxwell Maltz you were recommending? If so, that is the next book I will read, having just finished another highly recommended book The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson, one of his favourite improvement tips is reading 10 pages of a good personal development book each day. I also have the paraliminals you mentioned and am planning on using the 'Acquire a new behavior', though I am still slightly struggling with what to replace the old behaviour with. I am not having much difficulty with keeping off the porn and masturbation, or even the orgasm, my main problem is with the arousal or lustful, desirous thoughts when I see a fairly 'hot' woman. I am extremely lucky to have a very loving wife and I do love her very much too, however I do not find her as visually attractive as these 'hot' women, especially since she is now pretty obese (due to illness, not overeating, I hasten to add), and of course she has felt very hurt by these thoughts/feelings I have towards other women, even though I am no longer acting on such thoughts/feelings and am almost instantly rejecting them. I sure hope I can eventually stop them happening at all, or at least instantly replace them with something more respectful. Anyhooo, thanks so much for sharing and giving so much hope man.
Yes Maxwell Maltz is the author. If youre keen you could also study method acting. The principals can be applied to every person who is willing to learn a new behaviour or attitude shift not just paid actors.
Thanks for that, Unhooking. I do EFT as well and like the both of you, I also feel that there is something to it. I haven't had much luck with it yet in reducing my overall anxiety and depression levels , but I have found EFT is effective in relieving anxiety when I have a flare up. It can break the obsession cycle that gets stuck in my head every so often. I read 'The Tapping Solution', by Nicholas Ortner a few months ago and have been trying putting together a 'tapping tree'. This is essentially a diagram with a list of symptoms, events and beliefs that are connected with my anxiety. I am currently working through each of these one at a time in 15 minute tapping sessions. The idea being that this is supposed to open the blockages that may be propping up the anxiety on a sub-conscious level.
Hi JB, thanks for your story, it's very motivational, even considering how much effort you had to put it. I also have a few practical questions I would like to ask you, mainly about the self-hypnosis: - Did you listen to the hypno tracks in a bed where you sleep? - Did you use hypno recordings and visualisations from psycho-cybermetics at the same time of life? Or it has to be done seperatly one after another? - Did you listen to the hypno tracks once a day only? Cus I've read that two or three times a day is optimal and how about the night when sleeping? - While listening to the recordings can one move a bit, like scratch a place on a body that is itching or change a position a bit? Or maybe we can't move at all cus it takes us back to higher state of consiousness? The answers would really help me a lot, as I try to do both psychocybernetics and listening to the self-hypnosis tracks. I can say I am PMO free for two weeks already (not MO free yet though). But I don't see much changes that I am suppose to see in my behaviour yet, I guess these are rebooting sympthoms messing with me and it will all come soon.
I listened to the Hypnosis any time in the day. As long as I listened to them once a day, that was all that was important. Any time of the day. I discovered Psych-Cybernetics after listening to my hypnosis. It was chance I stumbled upon the book but it revealed to me that I wanted a better relationship with myself, and to do that, I would have to be kinder to myself. The book says to change your self-image which I did at the time. Looking back, the only reason I wanted a self-image change was so I could learn to love and respect myself. Once a day. Yes I moved during the Hypnosis. I scratch and itch. I am a human. If one is relaxed, you wont really want to move but if you desperately need to itch, I would say your body isn't relaxed enough yet and you need to maintain the spirit to relax first, then the body will naturally stop effortlessly. It's after about the 20-25 minute mark I shift states and I can enter a deep trance. My hypnosis track went for 45 minutes so it gave me time for the body to 'shut down.' Don't worry too much about hyonosis. It worked for me, it may not work for you. The trick is INTENT and SPIRIT. From this place, whatever tool you find, if you use intent and spirit, you can do anything. Self love is also a big step and I think my journey with refusing to look at girls online and get off social media greatly enhances my self-respect. Refer to my post https://yourbrainrebalanced.com/for...nly-success-youre-craving.116803/#post-685331
