120 days of hard mode. let's find out what's on the other side

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by Dee556pak, Aug 20, 2020.

  1. Dee556pak

    Dee556pak Member

    Day 10/120

    Let me paint this picture for you, baby

    You spend your nights alone
    And he never comes home
    And every time you call him
    All you get's a busy tone
    I heard you found out
    That he's doing to you
    What you did to me
    Ain't that the way it goes

    When you cheated girl
    My heart bleeded girl
    So it goes without saying that you left me feeling hurt
    Just a classic case
    A scenario
    Tale as old as time
    Girl you got what you deserved

    Justin Timberlake- what goes around comes back around!

    I'm not gonna share the whole back story today! Although the lyrics of this song will give you the idea!
    Got a call from my ex this evening! She told me about the guy that she really really loves now and said karma is really something!! ​
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  2. Deleted User

    Deleted User Guest

    Wow! First 10 Days Down.

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  3. Dee556pak

    Dee556pak Member

    Day 11/120

    Fuck Sundays! No days off for the brave! Can't believe back in the days It used to be 33 masturbating sessions in 11 days lol
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  4. Dee556pak

    Dee556pak Member

    Day 13/120


    Couldn't post yesterday was busy with friends got drunk and slept right away.. back in the days I used to relapse everytime after getting drunk. Not anymore. Now a days even when I'm drunk the thought of coming here at night and writing "success" on this wall stays on my mind! Writing daily here is helping me alot! Although today I didn't feel like studying perhaps the after effects of drinking! I should refrain from drinking for the next 6 months cuz it causes me a whole day! I gotta stick to the routine can't afford to waste a whole day again!
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  5. Deleted User

    Deleted User Guest

    Absolutely man! Excellent decision. Don't forget one relapse can fuck you up. Don't take any risks in this early days. Otherwise you are rocking.
    Dee556pak likes this.
  6. Dee556pak

    Dee556pak Member

    Taking inspiration from my brother Rainman I'm also starting with the "absolutely minimal internet use" I got a confession to make although I'm using this digital detox app but a few days ago I found out that when I restart my phone the app doesn't start automatically and thus it gives me an opportunity to start it on my will.. and I have been misusing it ever since I got to know about it! So from today onwards 10:27 AM IST I'm committed to only use social media for 20 minutes a day! 20 minutes that I get everyday for "emergency use" provided by the app! And I will not restart/reboot my phone to stop that app from working. If I do that then I'll count it as a relapse! Doesn't matter how much my brain tricks me into going to Quora to look for an answer or to go to youtube to find something.. these are all tricks and I'm smart enough to see through them.
  7. Deleted User

    Deleted User Guest

    Excellent my brother. It's very important to have a good working brain that is able to focus and concentrate on things that are important but a fucked up (rewired for distraction seeking) brain is of no use. You can not read and understand properly, you can not take pleasure in daily low stimulating things such as just sitting and enjoying the cool breeze against your skin and face, you can not enjoy the scenery in front of your eyes, you can not listen to music without thinking about something else, you can not even eat and feel the exact taste of your food if your mind is wondering all the time. We always blame porn, drugs, junk food etc, but browsing Internet for the soul purpose of killing time or entertainment is most bullshit and harmful activity you can imagine. It looks inocent and harmless but it's absolutely mind fucking, ludicrous, absurd activity of all. I don't use Facebook, Instagram and Twitter and I will never use them. I only use YouTube, Reddit and chrome browser. Now, I use these apps very mindfully, only for things that I really need. Sometimes I relapse but it's okay. I know I'm trying my best. I'm really glad that you found my problems relatable.

    I strongly recommend you to download yourHour app.


    It shows you exactly what you are doing on your phone. This way you will be able to keep track of your progress. In settings you can white list productivity apps and then you will be able to see exactly how many hours you are spending on your phone for bullshit activities.

    Digital detox app is great. There is no way to bypass it if you turn on auto start and run in background permission and remove it from any power optimisation. Then restart and see what happens. Lol.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 2, 2020
  8. Dee556pak

    Dee556pak Member

    I totally agree with you brother. It was almost impossible for me to just sit down and concentrate on my studies but now I know it myself that my brain is improving day by day! And I know it takes balls to do what we are doing! Even to acknowledge the fact that the internet and phone addiction is causing all these problems itself shows that we are aware! I feel pity to see all my friends how they are just wasting away there lives playing games and wasting time on social media! I'm glad we are aware of all the repercussions until it's too late! And yeah I have downloaded that app yourhour! But since im using digital detox I don't use other apps much just some educational apps!
    Deleted User and igrow like this.
  9. Dee556pak

    Dee556pak Member

    Day 14/120

    Success! Didn't use the phone! Nofap game is on point!
    catchingup, Deleted User and igrow like this.
  10. Dee556pak

    Dee556pak Member

    Day 15/120

    Success! In the evening I felt a strong urge to use my phone! But I didn't give in and went for a walk! It sucks when you love to go out and socialize but you can't cuz you have to study for an exam and at the same time fight the battle against your addictions. But in a way it's good to finish all your problems at once. Gonna change my life completely before I enter my 30's.
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  11. Deleted User

    Deleted User Guest

    That's the spirit. It's very doable. Keep going with this plan.
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  12. Dee556pak

    Dee556pak Member


    Success. I'm proud of myself!
    igrow, catchingup and Deleted User like this.
  13. Dee556pak

    Dee556pak Member


    Success! Felt a lil off today! But that's okay! It's okay to have a bad day! Tomorrow is a new day I'll try lil harder I'll get a bit better!
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  14. Dee556pak

    Dee556pak Member


    Met with some of my old friends in the evening had a great time with them.. was feeling very sad today but catching up with boys always helps hope I'll get where I want to I badly want to
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  15. Deleted User

    Deleted User Guest

    Everything is going to be Alright, our struggle and fight against our unfortunate condition will not go in vain. I had very melancholic, unproductive, meaningless day. All we can do is just learn and try to improve little by little. Recovery takes time. Years of damage can not just disappear by few months of treatment.
    Stay strong! We will get through this.
    Dee556pak likes this.
  16. Dee556pak

    Dee556pak Member

    Day 19/120

    Success! 28 years old and still a virgin! And it's not cuz I'm not good with girls. not cuz I can't have a girlfriend. it's all because of this fucked up addiction problem! I'm already too late! Can't. just CAN NOT afford to screw this up this time! And I will get over this. I have to! No other option there is left for me! By the time I'm 30! This war should be over. It has to be over.. it's so fucking hard living like this I just don't want to live like this forever! I will not be living like this forever with a lifeless dick.. I have lost my love, my self esteem, don't have a career and I feel depressed.. but will not be forever! I'm gonna kill it when I recover!! I'll have experiences in life too. I'll do whatever I haven't been able to do till now!
    catchingup likes this.
  17. catchingup

    catchingup Active Member

    I admire your passion!! Much love and success!!! No pain, no gain.
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  18. Dee556pak

    Dee556pak Member

    Day 20/120

    Success! So 1/6th part of the journey is completed today! Now 100 more days to go.. Although it's been more than 3.5 months since I last watched porn! But I masturbated a few times though. so if I calculate it's almost a month since I last masturbated but just because I started counting and making this journal 20 days ago, I will call it 20 days! Today I felt a bit horny idk if it's a good thing or a bad thing.. I consider it a good thing because that's how a man should feel sometimes. and a bad thing because it makes it hard to keep going.. although I'm not gonna give up for sure but I'm just saying.. I'll keep going no matter what! Day by day.. I'll keep on writing "success" on this wall until finally I can also write a success story! I'm sure I'll cry when that day comes.
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  19. Deleted User

    Deleted User Guest

    You have got this Man. No matter how bored, depressed or irritated you feel going to Porn and Masturbation is just not an option. This activity doesn't exist for us anymore. The only thing which is going to happen is we will achieve our goals that we have set for us. I personally don't give a fuck wheather my life improves or not I will always stay away from Porn, Masturbation,Drugs and sex worker. There is nothing but self destruction. I have made it simple. Now let's see what happens when I stay true to my words for at least 365 days in a raw.

    You are doing excellent. I really like the way you are handling yourself. I can totally relate to you man. Sometimes I just wait for the night so that I can have dinner and then go to sleep. Sleep is the only thing that puts me in peace! Depaak, If I ever get to write a success story, I will cry as well. That would be the best day of my life. I will be the happiest person on this planet on that day.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 9, 2020
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  20. Dee556pak

    Dee556pak Member

    That day will come! We will cry for sure haha! Sometimes I'm very sad but somedays I'm totally positive about the future! We are doing what we are supposed to! We have examples that by following this path one gets success so I don't see much reason why we should not be sanguine about the future. Keep going brother!
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