11 month recovery for a middle aged guy

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Mart71, Sep 4, 2014.

  1. Mart71

    Mart71 Guest

    So I consider myself successfully recovered by now. I am 42 years old, sexually not very experienced and have been recovering for 11 months. During this time, I went from not being able to get an erection at all to having sex without ED drugs. Here is an account of my journey.

    My porn history
    I started using porn as a teen in the 1980's using magazines. Later I used dial-up internet and high-speed internet. I used about three to four times every week.

    My issues with porn
    I had my first sexual relationship when i was 25 years. At that time, I already struggled with ED, weak erections and premature ejaculation.

    Then a year ago (after a few years of being without a partner), I got into a new relationship and couldn't get it up even using Cialis. It was a low point in my life and I feared, I would never be able to have a satisfying sexlife ever. The most frightening thing was not being able to feel a blowjob anymore.

    My way of the reboot
    A few days after this incident, I learned about YBOP and PIED. Since my doctor said, I was physically healthy and the issue is anxiety or psychological, I researched a therapist in my area and found out about porn addiction. It fit my situation perfectly and I started the reboot the same day in october 2013.

    Stopping porn was easy. I had a lot of motivation to stop because of my new partner and never had an issue with relapsing to porn. I wanted to get our sex-life going as soon as possible, so I stocked up on ED drugs. We tried to have sex again after month....

    My recovery
    This new relationship started as a long distance relationship. We are able to see each other once a month. In terms of the reboot, I alternated abstaining during the time I could not see my gf - and rewiring (including sex) when we were together.

    I also tried to improve my life in general. So I moved to new house, tried to make the relationship with my gf work, worked out for some time.

    The first three months, my erections started coming back slowly. I used ED drugs in high dosages, but the low libido and low sensitivity were still strong, so erections were weak and faded soon.

    I made my most progress in the months four to six. Erections started to last longer, blowjobs started to have an effect. I needed to keep the frequency of my orgasms low, since they could set me into a flatline if I had them too frequently.

    In the months seven to nine, I reduced the amount of ED drugs I took. My orgasm frequency improved to being able to have one orgasm per day without falling into a libido flatline. Since about a month (august 2014, the 11th month of my reboot), I can have satisfying penetrative sex without any ED drugs at all.

    My advice
    - Start living a life, where porn has no place. Spend the energy you invested in porn into improving your social life and work on being with girls, preferably being in a relationship based on trust.
    - Be proactive about the reboot. Don't just sit around waiting for your life to change, work on your issues. ED drugs can help once you are past the flatline and they boost your confidence.
    - Don't obsess about the retails of rebooting. Be consistent with staying away from porn and rewiring, time will do the rest.

    I am thankful for YBOP and this community. I will stick around a little bit longer, but it will soon be time to move on and close this chapter of my life.
  2. Panonymos

    Panonymos Humility is a virtue

    I am so happy to read your success my friend! Congratulations from the depths of my heart.

    I hope that soon I will be joining this section of the site.
  3. gameover

    gameover Age: 26

    Congrats man. Good to see someone going from needing ED drugs to not needing them. Gives me some hope.
  4. TheFightInUs

    TheFightInUs New Member

    Hey Gameover, have you been to see a urologist or anything like that, just to make sure it's only PIED? I realize this might be a dumb thing to ask, given how long you've been on this forum, but if you haven't, it might help.
  5. fflatline

    fflatline New Member

    Congrats my brother and thank you for every piece of advice you've given me
  6. gameover

    gameover Age: 26

    I get morning wood every day, Easily get hard on my own etc

    But looking at porn or fooling around with a real girl i dont get hard until I or the girl starts stroking
  7. Congratulations, man.
  8. Facundo

    Facundo Member

    A true inspiration
  9. Zebra_Hooves

    Zebra_Hooves Ours is not a caravan of despair - Rumi

    Congratulations Mart!
    Thanks also for the help and advice you gave me. Could I please ask, even as this chapter closes, you come around and post here occasionally. Even once a month. It helps motivate people and offers us encouragement. You started your journey after me, and finished before. I've changed now, being in a relationship has forced me to. I hope to be where you're at soon enough. In the grand scheme of things, a year is nothing and the change is astonishing.
    All the best.
  10. fugu

    fugu "You know, feelin' good, livin' betta." :) Staff Member

    Congratz man! Great to hear.
  11. Robane

    Robane Member

    Be proactive about the reboot. Don't just sit around waiting for your life to change, work on your issues. ED drugs can help once you are past the flatline and they boost your confidence.
    - Don't obsess about the retails of rebooting. Be consistent with staying away from porn and rewiring, time will do the rest.

    This statement really resonated with me. It's time for me to stop obsessing about abstaining from PMO and improve my life. Congratulations my friend!
  12. coolmusti

    coolmusti Go hard or go home

  13. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    Great post, Mart. Gives me hope, I've gotten a lot better over two years, but have relapsed too much to get to where you are now. I have no fear though, I will get there because I always keep trying to get better.

    In addition to harder erections, do you notice larger ones? When I was clean for 2 - 3 months, I swear my dick was bigger by quite a bit. It would make sense, because more dopamine signaling would lead to more blood flow.
  14. Mart71

    Mart71 Guest

    Yes and the size is my erect penis is directly correlated with how horny I am. My gf notices it as well and tells me so. Sadly this way I found out, size matters after all.... >_<
  15. anonymous1985

    anonymous1985 New Member

    Mart - congrats on your success.

    So did you find that no MO during your reboot accelerated progress?

    I've tried this before, but felt the orgasms set me back quite a bit. This time planning to not MO period until at least the 6 month mark. Wondering if when you refrained from MO, the whole reboot process felt different for you?
  16. Mart71

    Mart71 Guest

    Sorry, I can't give you a clear answer. My main focus was to have sex and overcome my ED. That my only motivation to do a reboot.

    In the first two or three months, I would occationally MO or have phone sex for iirc about 8 times. My body clearly wasn't ready for MO, so my erection would go soft when I closed in on orgasm. It was like that the last time I MOd btw, some two months ago.

    In my journal someone recommended I should try to go for a while without MO, so I went on a 150 days (5 months) dedicated no-MO streak, where I managed to only MO once (after the first 30 days). This correlated with the time I made my most progress in my reboot (roughly months four to six) and regained most of my ability to have sex. However I cannot tell you what part the no-MO played in that.

    I never put much importance on MO or no-MO and I don't think no-MO accelerated it significantly. Remember I was having lots of sex on ED drugs during that time. The effects of forcing my body to have erections and having frequent orgasms were much more severe than the little MO I did. Any changes I would feel from MO would go away after a few days at most, whereas some of the orgasms from sex put me into a flatline for several weeks.

    So it was more of a matter to gain control of my orgasm frequency than to have long streaks of no-MO.

    What I can tell you though, that by now MO feels much less interesting than it was in the past. Just like porn, I don't even miss it anymore - as long as I have frequent sex with my gf of course.
  17. LookinForAnswers

    LookinForAnswers New Member

    What was the right frequency of O's in order to avoid flatlines? I ask because I feel O's with women set me back some, but do enjoy it and don't want to go months without sex.
  18. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    O's set you back until you're balanced…which can take a long while. Go very easy on O's is my advice, no more than maybe once a month. I O'd last night on accident, I'm feeling it today, major chaser effect.
  19. LookinForAnswers

    LookinForAnswers New Member

    I'm a little over 90 days no porn, and about 3 weeks from my last O with a girl.. im guessing I still have a ways to go. My first 30 days was a complete no PMO, but then I started to feel horny again and went for it. I had about 3 successful encounters spaced about a week apart.. and then ED hit me hard again the next two attempts. It seems once a week was too frequent. This was 3 weeks ago. My initial plan was to go another 90 days with no O as well but this seems extremely hard, giving up porn isn't nearly as hard as the real thing ( there was a point when I enjoyed porn more, though) maybe I will try once a month and if that's still not good enough then I will try going 2-3 months no O.
  20. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    That is a very solid plan, my friend. Remember that until the P pathways are unwired enough from the M and O pathways you will have these effects, so staying away from all porn is the key. A relapse to porn will re-wire all the nasty shit and it will drop your dopamine receptors, as long as you stay away from porn you'll make it.

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