I've been posting a bit in another forum but this one seems more dynamic and interactive so I'm switching over to here. Also, I've finally gotten around to reading yourbrainonporn and it's great. I'm very interested to see where I might go with this as some of the testimonials are amazing. Reading over some of them I'm actually becoming aware of the fact that I think the porn addiction I've had since I was 11 has had a far wider effect on my life than I previously thought... Bit about me in case it chimes: Been using porn 30-odd years since I found a stash of magazines in a bush when i was 11, - me and my friends spent that summer hanging out and looking through all these magazines, kind of agog, and from there it was very rare that I didn't have any porn around somewhere. Used porn all through high school and college and beyond - always magazines and occasionally videos, and then when i got the internet went pretty crazy with that, always trying to get off of using it as at times I'd be staying up til 7 in the morning, whacking off for hours and hours, sometimes several times in one sitting. More recently I've found that I've used it for less time at a sitting but on a daily basis, though these sittings would often be around an hour at a time, often longer. I've done the usual thing of graduating through harder and harder stuff, to the point where recently I'd often find myself seeking out violent movies, degrading scenes and barely legal stuff too. Got into dark frames of mind, fucking lots of women who I had little interest in, using phone sex lines, spending vast swathes of time surfing and battering myself with simultaneous multiple movies with all sorts of shit going on. My first ever orgasm was to porn, I guess I was 12 or 13 or so, and I remember the shock of this happening, and now I guess this linked my sex life to porn deeply. Reading over the words on the YBOP site, I really do think that I've allowed porn to affect every part of my life without even realising it. Recently I stopped for around 45 days following a ten-day meditation retreat in the north of England, and this was a real eye opener (the retreat as well as the 45 days off porn). I'd not managed to do that before, always folding after a few days. But this felt different, and I was well aware of the expansion into life that I was feeling. I'm not sure how much of this was from the retreat, and how much was from the time off porn, but now I think each was an equal factor. Anyhow, I gave in a week or two ago and immediately lost my newfound mojo and regret it now, although I can also see the benefits of experiencing the failure - I think it will only serve to help me be stronger in my determination now. So my mission is to attempt 100 days clear of PMO, and then plan on taking myself off somewhere on my own at the end of this and accounting for where I'm at after this time. i should point out that by PMO I mean no Os with M involved, as I am having sex with my partner throughout this. I intend to replace the lost time with healthy pursuits such as going to the gym, running and so on, as well as meditation. I also intend to not be harsh on myself and to treat the urges to use the porn as friends in need of compassion and care. I'll be posting most days for a while I think, and hope to hear from people on the path. Good luck to all you others out there, and if you have any advice, send it my way please! Thanks.