100 Days Of Hard Mode! Want to cure my PIED and Experience Healthy Sex Life!

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by TheFinalRound, Jan 10, 2021.

  1. TheFinalRound

    TheFinalRound New Member

    I'm 27. Will turn 28 in 52 Days!
    My story is a text book case of PMO addiction and PIED.

    I got hooked at around 14. And since then I have PIED. I came to know about nofap and yourbrainonporn almost 2 years ago. For last 22 months I have been trying to recover from PIED and PMO addiction.

    I have recoverd from PMO addiction but I still have PIED AND PE as I never really rewired myself to the real thing.
    And although I'm recoverd from PMO addiction I end up masturbating to porn or without porn after every 30-40 days of streak. I suffer from anxiety as well. I swear anxiety is really a bad thing to have.

    Now, that I have braces on for last 3 years and the treatment is in it's last stage I have decided to not have sex untill I get my braces off.

    My best streak without PMO is 51 days in last 22 months, which is why I am really disappointed. In the beginning when I started I suffered from terrible withdrawal symptoms. Now the situation is a lot better. Almost 80% better. But because of the lack of rewiring with real women I still kinda feel asexual. I don't get erection from sex thought, but precum comes out. I don't know why.

    Anyway, Recently on 6th January I had really great sex using dick pill. I was high on Cannabis as well.

    Now that I still have my braces on and still didn't get to that 90 days nofap hard mode , I think it's the best time to go for a 3 months + hard mode and then start rewiring.

    I will try to journal my progress and see how things turn out.

    My main goal at this moment is 100 Days Nofap Hard Mode!
    Which starts on
    6th January 2021 at 7:00PM
    NewStart19 likes this.
  2. TheFinalRound

    TheFinalRound New Member

    Day 4/100

    Today I decided to quit smoking!
    I think smoking is a terrible addiction to have. And smoking is also very bad for health and erection. So, today at 2:21 PM I quitted smoking.

    Mood is great at this moment. Let's see how I feel in a couple of days.

    NewStart19 likes this.
  3. NewStart19

    NewStart19 Well-Known Member

    Thanks for sharing your experience with withdrawals. 80% better is a fantastic percentage to see. Reading that can provide a much needed modicum of relief for those still struggling with this addiction (like me).

    I am not sure if this will have any effect on you, but I have been off nicotine for over two years now, and I am doing just fine without it. You can reach a point of complete sobriety and not have it really bother you anymore. So when the thoughts, urges and withdrawals try to back you into a corner, just remember that random dude on the internet who said, "the worst of it'll pass, and someday it can all be a thing of the past. Hang in there! Sobriety can indeed become a reality for you." Best of luck!
    TheFinalRound likes this.
  4. TheFinalRound

    TheFinalRound New Member

    Thank you man. I suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder and Smoking Cigarettes sometimes become really impulsive, like sometimes I don't even enjoy Smoking but I just light up one to cope with my anxiety. But it has to end at some point. So I ended it today. I know right now I'm thinking straight but may be in a couple of days I will find myself in confusion and irritation. But as you said it will pass. I will keep updating. It's really encouraging and mood boosting to know that someone is reading my post and can relate to my suffering.

    I'm all in this time. Just one day at a time.
    NewStart19 likes this.
  5. TheFinalRound

    TheFinalRound New Member

    Day 5/100

    5 days Nofap hard mode successfully completed.

    I have quitted smoking yesterday, I'm still going strong. Started meditation seriously and have set a goal to reach 30 Hours of meditation as soon as possible, 1 Hour already under my belt.

    Feeling a bit low and bored but apart from that I believe it's okay. I know it's just a beginning! Things will improve slowly.

    Trying to reduce mindless internet surfing and read more instead!
  6. TheFinalRound

    TheFinalRound New Member

    Day 6/100

    6 Days of Nofap Hard Mode successfully completed!

    So far so good. Doing meditation as much as possible. Mood is becoming better and better. Completed 2 days without a single puff of Cigarettes.

    Really excited for the future.
    NewStart19 likes this.
  7. TheFinalRound

    TheFinalRound New Member

    Day 7/100

    7 Days of Nofap Hard Mode Successfully completed.

    Another, successful, peaceful, and drug free day. 2 Hours of meditation and a nice clean evening with friends! One of my friends smoked cannabis, I politely said no. I have no problems with cannabis or alcohol when done once in a while. Today I didn’t wanted to get high, being sober is what I'm really enjoying these days. Will do drugs only when I really want to. Not because my friends want me to join them.

    Anyways, Today I have completed 3 Days without cigarettes. Not another puff No matter what!

    Waking up in the morning and right after using the bathroom 30 minutes of meditation. This is what I am trying to make a Daily Habit.

    Let's see how everything turns out.
    Thelongwayhome27 likes this.
  8. TheFinalRound

    TheFinalRound New Member

    Day 8/100

    8 Days of Nofap Hard Mode Successfully completed.

    Only 92 Days are reaming to start rewiring!

    I sometimes feel impatient and frustrated. Well, there is no need to be frustrated as time is constantly passing and the distance between I and my activities to rewire is decreasing.

    Meanwhile, I am trying to meditate as much as possible, browse internet as less as possible and staying away from Cannabis and alcohol. Today I have completed 5 Days without a single puff of Cigarettes.

    Have been working all day today, and just want to finish my remaining work, have my dinner and go to sleep. That's all I want at this moment!
  9. TheFinalRound

    TheFinalRound New Member

    Day 9/100

    9 Days of Nofap Hard Mode Successfully completed.

    Bad day. Just had a bad day. Anger, anxiety, money loss because of someone else's fault, some weird frustration. Had no desire to meditate, just did 30 minutes in the morning and after that nothing.
    Spent the day in standing que today.
    Bad day. But it's okay. I didn't smoke and completed 5 days without a single puff. I believe I'm going through nicotine withdrawal as well.

    Just want to go to sleep and wake up fresh tommorow.
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2021 at 12:09 PM
    Bilbo Baggins likes this.
  10. TheFinalRound

    TheFinalRound New Member

    Day 10/100

    10 Days of Nofap Hard Mode Successfully completed.

    A good day. Everything is going absolutely fine today. Mood is very stable and physically very healthy as well. Just having cough due to quitting smoking and drinking cold drinks, I guess. But it's not that bad, will probably go away in a few days.

    Although, physically and mentally I'm doing well today I must say that there is something missing, like I am not that driven for things like work and other things.

    I think it's too early to expect all those things. We will see where I reach as time goes.

    Will watch Dexter and then dinner and a good night sleep.
    NewStart19 likes this.
  11. TheFinalRound

    TheFinalRound New Member

    Day 11/100

    11 Days Nofap Hard Mode successfully completed.

    Everything was going ok today. But that emptiness, that something is missing was/is persistent. I don't know what's going on in my mind but I feel like I am not feeling motivated, it's like I am waiting for my happiness to come back in near future, but in the present moment I am not really enjoying. I mean I am okay. Working, eating, meditating, talking to people, avoiding drugs and PMO but I'm not feeling that great.

    Since when I had lunch the thought of smoking a cigarette has crossed my mind many times. But didn't let that urge bother me at all and completed 7 days without a single puff. I think I'm little under the weather and going through nicotine withdrawal as well.

    No matter how I feel, I will continue my NOFAP HARD MODE, will never touch Cigarettes again. Will continue to do Meditation and stay on the track. I know whatever I'm feeling is temporary. Soon, I will be feeling something different. It's all about time.
  12. -Luke-

    -Luke- Well-Known Member

    I know this feeling of emptiness only too well. But remember: Taht you feel this way means you stopped PMOing (and smoking). And that's something to be proud of.

    Like you said, keep up with the good habits and things will be fine.
    Bilbo Baggins and NewStart19 like this.
  13. TheFinalRound

    TheFinalRound New Member

    Day 12/100

    12 Days of Nofap Hard Mode Successfully completed.

    In the late afternoon, got anxious, thinking about some incidents that happened two years ago. I often drive myself crazy thinking about that and wishing to go back and change the past, ruminating about the same thing in a loop. Wishing things have happened differently.
    I know this is a very unproductive and harmful activity. This has reduced a lot but I know I can do better. After almost 1 Hour of Obsessive rummination I decided to take a nape, as I had nothing to do. After a long nape woke up feeling better. The day was good but as always was just killing the time rather than really enjoying.
    Couldn't meditate as much in spite of having a lot of free time.

    I'm about to have my dinner now. Will go to sleep soon.
    Last edited: Jan 19, 2021 at 12:14 PM
  14. I tried since 2005 to quit unsuccessfully. Finally starting in August, I made it 90 days after years of P use getting worse and worse.

    During my first 90 days, I was amazed at how often I felt empty, lonely (and I'm married) and had a sense of "is this all there is". I think that's what you feel as your brain gets off the dopamine addiction. Keep after it, it gets a lot better.

    During my current, second streak, mediation has helped immensely with those feelings.
    TheFinalRound and Bilbo Baggins like this.
  15. TheFinalRound

    TheFinalRound New Member

    Day 13/100

    13 Days successfully completed.

    Well working my ass off today, just had my dinner and still need to finish some remaining work.

    Wanted to light up a Cigarette many times, even as I am writing this just want a cigarette. It's not craving or an urge it's more like a desire. Anyways I'm not going back to Cigarettes at any cost, finished Day 9 cold turkey. Tommorow going to hit double digits.

    To be very honest things are going really well, as per the plan but still I feel really disconnected. Guys who suffer from PIED experience that even though their dick is erect while using dick pill , they have no real arousal to penetrate, no real connection with the person they are having sex. That same thing is happening with my real life, I have quitted Cigarettes, doing no PMO hard mode, working my ass off and have a solid plan for next 5-6 months, still I'm unable to enjoy my progress, I'm unable to feel the pleasure as I'm making real progress towards the healthy life. Or so do I think. I still suffer from some kind of weird anxiety and confusion from time to time. I just wake up in the morning and go to sleep, between those two events I do things that I know I should be doing, but no real pleasure/happiness/satisfaction/sense of progress is there within me. As if I can just intellectually function but can not really feel anything. It's not like I'm completely numb, I feel anger and hopelessness and a deep sense of meaninglessness every time I start to contemplate my existence.

    No matter what and how I feel I will do as I planned. I believe there will be some light at the end of the tunnel.
    Last edited: Jan 19, 2021 at 12:14 PM
    Bilbo Baggins likes this.
  16. Bilbo Baggins

    Bilbo Baggins Well-Known Member

    I can relate to that. Once we start thinking about our life instead of just living it, there is no going back. Having goals, hobbies and passions is probably the key to having a meaningful life.

    As you said, there’s light at the end of the tunnel.
    Last edited: Jan 19, 2021 at 11:29 PM
    TheFinalRound likes this.
  17. warded

    warded New Member

    Hey Final!

    I am interested in this quote from your first post, how do these two points fit together? I personally would not consider myself recovered when I'm still using porn every 30-40 days. This is coming from someone on the beginning of this journey, only dreaming of achieving regular 30-day streaks, so my biggest respect for that! I just wanted to understand how you feel "recovered" and how that differentiates from your porn use.

    Greetings and the best wishes for your recovery!
    TheFinalRound likes this.
  18. TheFinalRound

    TheFinalRound New Member

    I'm recovered in a sense that I do not crave porn neither do I crave to masturbate. I have been on this recovery journey for last 22 months. In the beginning It was a huge challenge to stay away from PMO. I would get triggers every time I was online. Now, nothing bothers me at all. I do not get any triggers from nude or exposed female body parts. Not at all.

    Now, those 30,40 streaks and relapse were mostly intentional, like there was no urge, I just did it out of frustration and to check my erection, more than half of those relapses were just masturbation. I consider masturbation as relapse as well. There were occasions when I was looking at porn and did not get any rush or the kind of feeling I used to feel back when I was an addict. Porn seemed like very artificial and fake which It is.

    My best streak so far in last 22 months was only 51 days which I am really disappointed about and want to change it this time.

    I created this thread to help me stay on the track and to stay accountable to myself. No more silly mistakes out of any emotion I feel.

    Stay strong man. We are in this together.
    warded likes this.
  19. warded

    warded New Member

    I see. It's very encouraging to see that recovery (at least in that sense) is possible.

    I consider myself very lucky that I have been spared of any PIED; thinking about it a bit more after your post, it probably adds multiple layers of problems... And this addiction is hard to beat one way or another.

    Best of luck and all the power to you!
    TheFinalRound likes this.
  20. TheFinalRound

    TheFinalRound New Member

    Day 14/100

    14 Days successfully completed.

    I spent all my day today staying home and watching Dexter.
    Took a late afternoon nap. Didn't meet any of my friends, didn't have any desire to. Peaceful and Calm was my day.

    Anyways, I am noticing one thing is that I'm always talking to myself, even when I'm watching something I seem to get lost in my thoughts. I guess mediation is making me observe what my mind is actually doing to me.

    Felt lazy and kind of lathergic I would say, all day. I think I need get moving now. Need to start exercising.
    10 Days without a single puff Cigarette. This is the perfect time to start little bit of exercise.

    Not a bad day.

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