100+ day Rebooters: please help! I'm Day 112 and losing the plot...

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by Reginald, Mar 16, 2013.

  1. Reginald

    Reginald 34y/o____________ STICK 2 THE SCRIPT

    Can you give me a reality check please? Or advice, your own experience and victories, input, a motivational speech? I'd be grateful!

    Yeah, I'm Day 112 of No P/M.
    I've been orgasming from sex usually every 1 or 2 weeks. Now I'm going celibate again for a while.

    I've been messing with Reboots for 2 years, but this current one has been pretty easy, staying free of PM, even when I had 4 weeks no sex/O. But these last few days...I feel like I'm losing my motivation, my focus, my commitment to NoPMO. (Subplot: I'm Day 12 no alcohol, from 5 drinks/day. And Day 3 no caffeine. YIKES.)

    Thoughts creep in, about
    "Maybe Porn wasn't really effecting your sexlife much, or your sensitivity, or delayed ejaculation."
    "Maybe it affected those, but...you can use just a little now, because you don't want to mess with real women for a while."
    "You can MO! You've done soooo much Rebooting and rewiring [5 different women], you're in the clear. Now you can make an MO schedule!"

    Shit...but in the past, MO always led back to PMO.

    Please, dudes. Can you give me a flash from the blue, a EUREKA moment that will help me FEEL this: "Oh. Yeah, Porn is stupid. I'm over it. Nevermind."

  2. bigproblem

    bigproblem New Member

    dude if you are having sex then you dont have ED.
  3. gameover

    gameover Age: 26

    You have been rebooting for 2 years, do you want to stay in this cycle of porn then no porn for the rest of your life? Just accept its gone for good.
  4. Reginald

    Reginald 34y/o____________ STICK 2 THE SCRIPT

    What's ED got to do with it though? lol. I'm talking about PORN.
  5. Irwin

    Irwin New Member

    I applaud everyone who is trying to correct course with their PMO. But trying to reboot with no light at the end of the tunnel is making the task extra difficult.

    I'm married, it's easy to stay away from porn for me because first my wife would kill me if she found it on our house and second I know I've got to be ready to perform my duties 3-4 times a week. So I'm in a good situation that quite frankly nature intended. We should be having regular sex with our wives. When you get there you won't have time for porn and you certainly won't want to slip up and find yourself struggling to do your duties when the time comes.

    If you need motivation, read my book. Read it everyday like the a religious person reads the Bible. And plan on getting married and entering into a normal sexual relationship with a nice girl.


    Good Luck!
  6. Chris_Clay

    Chris_Clay New Member

    Hang in there, Reginald.

    Ask yourself which you would rather have: (A) occasional satisfaction of your desire for PMO and perpetual internal conflict, or (B) desires that no longer push you so hard to do things that other parts of you know you shouldn't?

    (B) sounds better to me. I trust it does to you too. I want integrity (see def 3 for what I mean by that). Giving in now contributes to your spending that much longer with (A) instead of moving towards (B). It takes you one step farther from integrity.

    Part of you may want that, but I'm betting you don't want it at all.

    (Also, though the tacky book plug makes me hate to admit it, Irwin has a point. The prospect of long-term relationship with a loving partner has been the greatest motivation to attain sexual health I've ever had. It's something to hope for, and to move towards.)
  7. Veloso

    Veloso New Member

    I think the subplot: caffeine and alcohol withdrawal is reaching out for any kind of neurochemical fix at the moment. Brain is trying to tell you: "I want some dopamine, you deserve some P/mo since you're quitting caffeine and alcohol, and P is not dangerous since you've been clean so long." Well, it is still dangerous, and you don't deserve it. You're not immune to the downward spiral that a single P/MO session will start, and you probably never will be. You need to buckle down for the next month while your body clears out the alcohol and caffeine, and treat P and MO with the same danger levels you did at the beginning of your reboot, or it will be day zero again for all 3 before you know it, and you'll be back in the old trap. There's a flash from the black hole that you've gotten out of. Don't get back in.
  8. Barneybarn

    Barneybarn Reboot and rewire!

    Hey Reginald,
    I hope you are not trolling :p
    You know it is worth sticking to the program and you also know why you P and MO. It's to fill a void, numb out pain and of course (usually undeserved) instant gratification. You have achieved sooo much and now you are thinking about giving in to the addicted side of your mind. I can tell you this from experience if you give him leeway once then he is going to start to battle you for everything and will try to push you back into the old habits (first it will be emotional bargaining, then logical, then both, then sly ways of attack you didn't even know your mind was capable of) and bit by bit it can take back everything you have gained in the last two years!
    It is worth being P and MO free. The advantages are so apparent. To give them up for a couple of minutes of pleasure is ludacris.
    PMO tends to be a never ending viscious downwards spiral, before you know it you are bingeing and watching more and more hardcore stuf just to get your fix and thus fire up the old circuits and recreate the ruts in your brain you have been trying to eliminate and rewire for the last years.
    Reboot and rewire,
  9. IcyEyes

    IcyEyes Member

    Reginald, first of all congratulation for your progresses.

    What you (we) need to know is that this porn-abstinence thing must be a lifestyle change. I can imagine how it feels to be completely rebooted and then starting to think that a bit of pornography maybe is not dangerous.

    The problem is: we're addicts. Pornography for us is dangerous. You really must comprehend what pornography did to you, your relationship with this filth.

    We must find elsewhere the reasons to be happy. This is a change of lifestyle. To be stronger than that, in every single moment of our life.
  10. Reginald

    Reginald 34y/o____________ STICK 2 THE SCRIPT

    Dudes, thank you SO much for taking the time to give your considered support. I REALLY appreciate it, and I'm carefully contemplating each reply.

    This is deep. I'm having trouble vividly recalling that old internal conflict; gotta conjure it up.

    DANG IT. YES, man. Thank you; I think I've dangerously underestimated how that subplot could threaten my NoPMO. Thank you for reminding me of the brain-structure part of this!

    UHHHHHHH true! My junkie-brain keeps seeking a way around this. But one video is too much, and a million is not enough! I've got to remember, we're like pornoholics. We, or ME at least, can't just choose to PMO for 10 minutes, and then go on to another 120 happy days of freedom.

    Or I guess I could technically , but certainly it's not worth the suffering.

  11. hogus

    hogus Active Member

    Take it from me I P relapsed on day 115 and you'll feel like a fool. Just think back to how shitty you felt when you started your reboot - that's gonna happen again!
    Just imagine... it's day 0. Yeah, not 112 but ZERO. Your counter will cut down from 3 digits to nothing. You have brain fog, anxiety and you're beating your own head in for being so stupid. It feels like the person you want to be by rebooting is way out of your reach now.

    Plus those pixels are like sandpaper for your dick.
  12. Big Lebowski

    Big Lebowski Member

    Well said, I thought exactly this!

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