★★★ The NoCounter Alliance ★★★

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by guntrex, Jan 7, 2014.

  1. guntrex

    guntrex Member

    Basically idea is to get rid of counters, they are slowing people down, its very depressing to reset counter after a good run, they dont have memory, people are focusing on wrong things, generaly speaking counters are not working for 99% of members.

    Spreadsheets are much better, all credits to Underdog http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=16501.0.

    So give it a try, lets say for a week or more, remove counter, use spreadsheet or any other method of tracking progress, dont focus on counting days and then post your results. I think most of guys here will find it easier to stay sober without counter.

    Also if you want to promote this idea and join our NoCounter alliance place this hashtag in your signature: #NoCounter

    Let's do this!
     
  2. Re: NoCounter Alliance

    Maybe some folks with higher numbers should indeed put in a signature, just to show off that their method works. I mean, when you see someone with 60+ days, you give him credit. "He must be doing it right."

    But for beginners, people with low numbers, people who relapse often, a counter is basically a bad idea.
     
  3. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    Re: NoCounter Alliance

    Counters are very helpful when you're on a good run, but tremendously counterproductive and discouraging when you keep resetting them.

    My advice is to remove it until you get on a long streak.

    You can put put it back on when you've reached day 50 or whatever, for motivational and accountability purposes.

    In the meantime, stick with the spreadsheet.
     
  4. no94

    no94 All or nothing.

    Re: NoCounter Alliance

    Resetting counters never made me feel bad, only the initial relapse.

    Am I the only one?
     
  5. Re: NoCounter Alliance

    Probably not, but some people (like me) can't get their shit together when they relapse after a good streak (e.g. 30+ days). Seeing low numbers in my signature always set me back, it felt like I was never gonna beat my record again, and it led to constant relapses for weeks.

    With the spreadsheet approach you eliminate this phenomenon.

    (Though I didn't make any spreadsheet, since I intend to be clean for the whole year.)
     
  6. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    Re: NoCounter Alliance

    Good for you!

    However, if you do end up relapsing (which I really hope you don't), then you probably should set up a spreadsheet.
     
  7. calmwinter

    calmwinter Guest

    I keep a counter because I'd lose track of how long my streaks are without it.

    I can easily confuse three days for a whole week in my memory
     
  8. WillGrit

    WillGrit New Member

    I need a counter too. Just to know how long my current streak is. It motivates me.
    However, I have a spreadsheet as well, on which I track not only my P / M / O, but also how many pics / vids, and I plot trends to see if I am improving as well.
     
  9. Nerf Herder

    Nerf Herder Member

    Re: NoCounter Alliance

    Here are my thoughts:

    Spreadsheets for users on low streaks provides users with justification for continuing to PMO/MO because:

    (1) Spreadsheets provide no incentive for users to go on long streaks.
    (2) Spreadsheets legitimatize PMO'ing (to a degree). Ideally spreadsheets should make no reference to "PMO" at all. E.g. User1 may read User2's spreadsheet that he PMO'd 4 times in January and think this acceptable. It's not.
    (3) For spreadsheets to actually work, you need to maintain a 90-95% porn free record over a year. How many exclusive spreadsheet users have this kind of record?
    (4) Spreadsheets don't encourage users to use willpower and self-control.
     
  10. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    Re: NoCounter Alliance

    They do, especially in the format I'm advocating, which shows zero cells with a green color.

    It motivates you to have as many green cells as you can.

    And you can actually see your past and current streaks.

    Counters, on the other hand, put you "back to zero" every time you relapse, while completely ignoring your history or the progress you've made so far.

    Counters are not stopping people from relapsing and binging.

    We're 8 days into the year 2014 and more than 30% of those who entered No Fap January have already failed and reset their counters.

    There are hundreds of members that joined this forum back in 2012 that are still constantly resetting their counters.

    Many people who reset their counters usually binge and fap several times before starting over.

    I could go on and on...

    After a while, they eventually stop giving a shit, and the accountability factor of the counter is completely lost.

    WTF?

    Of course not.

    If you're having less PMO sessions than before then the spreadsheet has worked, period.

    Simple as that.

    Wrong.

    Read answer #1 above.
     
  11. WillGrit

    WillGrit New Member

    The reasons why most people are not using a spreadsheet, despite its numerous benefits, and only a counter are:

    1. The EASE of setting up a counter. Setting up a spreadsheet requires an additional step, because you need to setup a Google account, and then copy-paste the spreadsheet.
    2. No visibility: I can see my counter right away in my signature, but cannot see my spreadsheet.

    Simply, the counter is the path of least resistance.
     
  12. If you want to use a counter, fine. Maybe it works for you. But if you find yourself struggling from time to time, you may want to get rid of the counter.

    It's just a different approach. We are all different, so what works for some, it may not work for others.
     
  13. wojtekoxx

    wojtekoxx One-armed bandit

    I agree with the NerfHerd guy. Spreadsheets make me feel better at myself meanwhile I'm wasting months with no real progress. While fapping every 3 days will give me more energy than daily, it will never cure my ED. That's why I'm going to take great care of my counter from now on. Btw having to log on to see my counter is not helping. I used to have it on my IM status, but I removed every terminology connected with porn so that noone guesses what the counter means
     
  14. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    Sigh..
     
  15. Well, let's see if you make it to 90 days on March 31. Then I will believe that counters work.
     
  16. I would be good to have some mix between these two metrics. For example modified counter which shows how many you had PMO's, MO's etc this month, week, previous month, whatever...
     
  17. guntrex

    guntrex Member

    I had both combined for month or two. Its not working for me cause counter was dominant, more visible. Yes counter was great when I was doing good, when I made 40 days clean but terrible day after relapse, thats why I wont use counter again until I make at least 50 days clean.
     
  18. WillGrit

    WillGrit New Member

    I am in. Counters suck.
    I do have a personal spreadsheet, very similar to the one being advocated.
    I friggin have made progress over my last 5 rounds which averaged about 10 days each.

    And no more monthly challenges for me. I feel like they make me obsess over NoPMO, and thus I am friggin nervously counting days, and then relapse.
    I am doing this for me.
    Having a great life is way more important to me, and that can only happen if I do those great things, like get a great job, flirt with girls, go diving with Great-Whites etc.
    Fuck PMO.
     
  19. I prefer counters.
     
  20. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    Of course you do.

    You're 200+days since you last relapsed.
     

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