Relapsed again today. I have been self-sabotaging myself lately because of the fear of real intimacy. Have been meeting quite regularly with a...
After my relapse I have been stuck in the pattern of more relapses and being in state of forgetfulness about the benefits of abstaining at all....
Got huge hangover today, and that made me relapse, once again. At least I got 10 clean days before that this time. I did not PMO, only watched P...
I can relate this very well. I have learned that every time that I first have a thought to do something, but the fear makes me decide against it,...
4th Day since last PMO Been 3 days clean now. It has been easy, because have been busy and quite social. Now the weekend looms before me and I...
Day 1 Its obvious that I need more planning ahead. Whole Saturday was for me only loitering, which by increments lead to Sunday's relapse. I need...
If you know that gaming will reduce the change of relapsing, by all means use it as distraction too! I have to think similar ways, which would be...
I relapsed this morning. I could see it coming even yesterday. I felt immensely bad about myself just staying home, when there was a feeling that...
I have waged a huge battle inside my mind today. The one side says, that Im already lost, that it do not matter if I relapse or not. One side,...
7th Day. I admit being struggling today. Its very hot weather and I have been loitering by myself in my apartment. I did some touching/testing...
6th Day. Another day accomplished. Now I feel that the bad effect of Sunday's PMO session is wearing out. It took 4 days to feel normal again....
Even that I have tried many things today, took little nap at the morning, went to gym, met my ex and we took little walk together, then visited...
4rd Day. I fear I can feel my depression crawling back at me. Maybe its because of the relapse 3 days ago. Maybe its because, in spite of having...
Walking is great. One philosopher of old, Henry David Thoreau, even wrote an essay about it. I hope you enjoyed your long walk in nature! :)
3rd Day. Staying strong, currently.. Felt yesterday slightly depressed even with meds. I am sure its the after-effect of the 2 pmo on Sunday....
I have been thinking a lot about my situation in this, and life in general. The relapses should be taken very seriously, because of them you still...
Day 2. I had a huge hangover during Sunday and it make me relapse. It was the typical slippery slope thinking that caused it. First I felt urges,...
Day 9 First time thought about acting out this morning. Had quite good MW. Its understandable, because full sexual energy takes about 10 days to...
My list of benefits will be: I. I will be in more calm mood, without constant lows that using the drug (P) will make me to feel. I can take the...
I have observed this myself, when during my former relationship I had an huge anxiety all the time and also was using a lot of P and constant...
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