Dear all, I feel like this must be addressed as it isn't cleary enough stressed in the whole nofap movement. Simply stopping porn, but not taking care about the deep-rooted reasons, why you were doing it in the first place will simply cause you to subconciously move on to another addiction. After sucessfully stopping porn for 90 days I felt very positive affects on my life. Found a gf , no more DE, everything worked out great for a while. Then after we broke up, I started excessively dating girls. Had from times 4 girls to have sex with at once. It was a miracle for me the shy, underrated guy, that was very insecure. And after a few years of doing that and lots of girls that I have hurt along the way. I realized I got addicted to dating apps, sex, love and so on. I'm not only addicted to porn anymore (I don't watch it) but I have a whole 'nother problem, which is actually emotionally hurting me and others and I hardly can stop by myself doing it. Therefore now I'm in recovery for Love and Sexaddicts. All I wanted to let you know is that you should be careful, when stopping porn that you're not substituing one addiction for another. It happens gradually and you will first notice that it is too late, when you can't stop doing it. Also Sex addiction is really nothing you want to have. You will be unable to have a relationship, a family and turning the screen off after porn is not the same, as physically having done that f*cked up stuff you used to watch. As it seems to be quite common for people to go into dating apps while or after NoFap I felt like I needed to say it. Also I'm aware that everyone is different, but if you're already addicted to porn, chances are high you have a tendency towards sex addiction, when stopping porn. Some of us had ED,DE etc. due to porn and we only wish for a healthy sex life, therefore be mindful that is actually healthy and you not step into a trap, when you unfold your true potential. Regards Backontrack
From your experiences what do you suggest, is it good to fornicate or sex should be reserved for marriage only?
It musn't be reserved for marriage only. It is commonly known that sex is the healthiest in a commited relationship. A form of showing love to each other, both equally respected. No power games, no fantasizing. Fornication can be fine for someone that isn't addicted yet and if both parties are fine with it before and afterwards. It is the same with porn, if you feel shitty and guilty afterwards it probably wasnt the right thing to do. I'd suggest to generally stay away from prostitution for your own sake. I mean most of us are planning to have a family, LTR, kids etc. and going to have fetish sex with a hooker will only make you move away from that goal. You might feed a desire that is completely off from your life goals. Someone who is already addicted to sex cannot stop seeking sexual behaviour. Even when getting is has become completely unsatisfying. The lust can never be satisfied.
I really think orgasm is the issue here. I have sex, but I refrain from orgasm completely and it's just been great.
Interesting. For me I rather not get aroused at all, than to start and then stop in the middle. How do you deal with the blue balls? For my problems with DE 5 years ago. A 90day reboot and me stopping to watch porn cured it. After the reboot I fapped occasionaly and had sex but didnt go back to porn. Also when you're experiencing some sort of performance anxiety before having sex, you will have some ED problems obviously. So once you start making some positive experience it will also help your ED/DE a lot.