My Journey To Success

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by ace1234, Aug 2, 2012.

  1. bob92

    bob92 Member

    Ace. Thanks for all the support on my journal. I haven't been as active lately but you can guarantee I will always be here checking to see if you are on the right track. On the subject of which:

    For a start it is good you are still in the right frame of mind about beating this. You aren't letting it really get a hold of you and crush you. However, I want to make a couple of points about how you are looking at this journey:

    I don't think blocking youtube is a great idea. One day in the future, when you have beaten this addiction like I know you will, you will have access to any type of porn you want. Internet will most likely be a part of your life in some form for the rest of your life. At some stage you will have the resilience to be able to say no to porn even when it is easy for you to watch any form of it. The k9 filter is great for rebooters starting their journey, as it prevents us from giving in to hardcore porn urges. Youtube is a good test of building our resilience - if we can stay away from saucy youtube videos, then that will build confidence in our willpower to steer clear of hardcore porn later on when they become available.

    I think you might need to find other ways to renew your resolve. When you are having urges, maybe read over your first few posts on here and remember why you wanted to quit? Just a suggestion.

    Above all else, this is the best attitude I think there can be when it comes to beating this addiction. It is a cycle: Do the hard
    work and get to the end of each day, be proud that you got through. Then the hard work starts again the next morning.
    Eventually they start adding up real quick.

    Are you intending to continue posting on here? Whatever you decide good luck to ya and stay strong!

    Edit: ** Also, 10,000 view! Do I win a prize?**
     
  2. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    I feel terrible about my slip up. You are welcome and thank you for your thoughts and feedback.


    Thanks again. I think you hit this one on the head. It's something that I haven't thought about in such a way. It's a way to test myself, to prepare myself for my own future.

    Yes it's something I am going to be doing tonight. I am going to be reading some of my earlier posts.

    :D Ah man - Yes I am going to keep posting, like Rocky I am going to get back up and keep fighting.
     
  3. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    Day 1

    I made it through the day and am excited to start racking up those double digits again. I just reread my journal from my most recent reboot. It's interesting to see myself progress from positivity to negativity. I became less stable towards the end of my reboot, worrying about things.
     
  4. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    Day 2

    This is a huge struggle, getting back up from where you fell, but I am determined to make the best of it. One of my phones just lost it's service and it's the one I need in case I get called in for an interview. I have to figure out a way, maybe by visiting the employers, to let them know that the number is no longer in service.

    While the consequences have not been as severe I am experiencing cloudy, poor judgement. It's taking me a lot longer to make a decision and make up my mind. I have been accomplishing much less than before. Two weeks have gone by since my first slip up and a lot of time has been wasted. I was so close to my goal it's a shame I did not make it, but I will make it eventually, I am sure.

    Right now I want to turn this post around and think positive about the future and the reboot. There is no use dwelling on the past when you can only move forward. There are a lot of amazing things ahead of me and I am not saying this just to 'look inspirational'. I know them to be a fact because I felt this feeling during my reboot and it was one of the most exciting things I had ever felt. For the first time in my life I saw another way to live, new opportunities, fresh perspectives, and a huge potential for something life changing.

    I want to be on this path and I want to follow it to see where it will lead me. I need to be looking to the future and thinking about the bigger picture. I am ready to move on in my life, but I need to kick this habit of masturbating when I am bored, impatient, stressed, bitter, and lonely. I need to find a constructive way to relieve my stress and the tension from whatever it is that is putting this pressure on me.

    I know I can turn my life around. Every time I get farther in my reboot I become so inspired and charged with life. I just need to believe in the process more and realize that I need to stay on the path that I have chosen for myself. I need to walk each day, each step, one at a time and keep my focus on those bigger goals. I need to stop doubting myself and sabotaging myself when things are finally going the way I want them.

    I want you to know that I am going to make it even farther this time and if not this time then the next, but no matter what I am not giving up on changing my life. Why should I have to try another time when I can make this reboot my most successful one yet? And that is exactly what I am going to do, now, tomorrow, and for the rest of the next three months.

    I also want to thank everyone for their support. Let's cheer each other on and help those struggling to get back on their feet. I wish you all the best from the depths of my heart. We can change our lives and I respect you men out there, who are fighting this.
     
  5. Apeman

    Apeman It means you're a baboon... And I'm not

    THIS is what guarantees your success. We all struggle, and we all fall, but those of us who make it a rule to always get up just one more time inevitably succeed. Persistence is omnipotent.

    And the best to you as well, brother. We will rise together.
     
  6. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    Just had another relapse, but it's okay.

    I am well on my way to starting again after rethinking a lot of things. I've ordered some new books that I will be reading to keep my mind occupied and use to create new habits.

    Day 1

    I've had some sever mood swings the past couple of weeks. Anyway, I wrote this as a blueprint to how I want to live in my twenties. I realize that time is short and that I will never get this decade back so it's time to buckle down. So without further ado I am now posting my blueprint which can be edited later if need be.

    ----------------------------------------------------------
    What I can do to be happy now.

    -Have a clean room
    -Wake up early by going to bed early
    -Finding a new job with 9-5 effort
    -Getting a new job
    -Pursuing my dreams as a musician
    -Saying and not missing my prayers
    -Reading the scripture/not missing church services
    -Staying true to myself and who I am

    What I can do to be 100% successful/What I need to do to look back with no regrets

    -Be organized (clean room, desktop/PC)
    -Avoid the internet and pornography as much as I can
    -Reduce the time I play video games to a minimum
    -Talk and be social (expand my social circle)
    -Work my butt off everyday and not expect a pay off (do it to build character and discipline)
    -Achieve those goals that I have set for myself

    What is the big picture? My story.

    In my early twenties I see myself as a person who consistently works hard each day, not for a payoff in the near future, but for happiness and fulfillment in that very moment that I am in. I pursue my dreams and my vision with an unending drive each and every single day because I understand that hard work will eventually pay off, but my real reason for pursuing my dreams is to know that I did everything I possibly could to make them a reality. I do not want to live with any regret in my life and this vision for myself was the first step to achieving the goals I had set for myself. I remained humble, grew a lot from my mistakes, vowed to never let them repeat themselves, developed a strong character and a positive outlook on my life that became infectious to everyone I came in contact with.

    How to overcome setbacks

    -read this vision
    -follow the blueprint to happiness
    -enjoy the simple moments (cleaning your room, looking for a job, talking to people, making music)
    -always keep the big picture in mind
    -change up your routine
    -rethink your life and then write about it

    When afraid of success

    -remind yourself of the bigger picture
    -know it's the last obstacle to overcome
    -realize that it's a part the struggle

    When you can't find love

    -do something productive that will further your dreams and goals
    -know that there is someone out there who feels the same way as you
    -realize that everybody deserves to be happy and there is someone for everybody
    -know that patience builds character
    -somebody out there finds you irresistable

    When you get negative

    -put the negativity aside by do something productive
    -know that being negative will never bring you, joy, happiness, or bring you closer to the goals you have set for yourself
    -always look at the big picture and the negativity as a temporary road block that you can go around

    What brings me joy?

    - Laughter and connection
    - Enjoying those simple moments
    - Taking the time to contemplate the beauty in life
    - Helping others
    - Having a positive outlook on life
    - Inspiring others
    - Seeing the fruit of my labor
    - Cooking

    Is this possible?
    Yes

    Why?

    -Because this blueprint deals with the core, inner, issues that lack fulfillment
    -If I stick to these core concepts I will be happy no matter where I am in my life

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
     
  7. Apeman

    Apeman It means you're a baboon... And I'm not

    During my longest streaks, I have absolutely devoured books. I hope they're as helpful to you.

    DAT BLUEPRINT. You've really been digging deep to determine what you value. Well done.
    But how can you bring those values into your day? Say, today. Looking over your blueprint, I see that you value
    • your musicianship
    • your social life
    • organization
    • cooking
    • and the Present
    • among others...
    So ask yourself: did you play music today? Have you talked to your friends? When was the last time you cleaned your room? Or cooked something? Or stopped to enjoy the moment?

    I say this because I, too, am a Blueprint Maker. It helps me organize my thoughts when I'm down, you know? It makes me feel like I'm moving onward and upward.

    So now that you've identified what you want for the future, make sure you're fitting those things into the Present. Into Today. You don't have to get to all of them in one day (props if you do!), but just making sure that the Present is moving toward the Future you want is an oft-overlooked step.
     
  8. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    That is exactly why I put the blueprint together so that I could ask myself those questions. It's been a while since I've just enjoyed being and it's was a huge reason for writing down the bigger picture. This is a way of reminding myself of what really matters. I thank your thoughts Apeman and I always appreciate your support.
     
  9. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    Day 3

    I've been breaking some old patterns of mine. I've been reading the book "The Mind that Changes Itself" and I think it's fascinating. Just from reading the book I've already realized that my mind is getting stronger and better at rebooting. I think it's common for us to relapse over and over again. It's like a muscle that gets bigger the more we work it. It's like learning to walk after suffering a stroke and being paralyzed. You have to learn how to crawl before you can walk and you have to strengthen those muscles before you can do either.
     
  10. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    Day 8

    Here I am again. Day 8. I've had a very rough past two weeks. I am focusing on getting to 23 days because I like the number. It's close enough to get excited about, but far enough away to motivate me.
     
  11. ModusVivendi

    ModusVivendi New Member

    Hey buddy, I hope all is well.
     
  12. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    Thanks I made it to 14 days and then binged.
     
  13. bob92

    bob92 Member

    Ace! You need to focus man.

    You need to get back to the reasons why you gave up porn to begin with.
    Read over your original posts
    Read about all the shit porn does to your head and dick
    Get back on the horse and go again!

    Focus on getting through each day. You can do it! Come on man.
     
  14. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    I know. It's great seeing you at 115 days. It's a shame I could did not make it make it.

    Despite everything, today was a day I lived 100% to my vision. I spent about 8 hours working on my music. I made myself some good food later and genuinely enjoyed myself, which is a big change to the moping around I've been doing.
     
  15. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    Binged again... :-\

    The relapse before this one I had an urge to block Youtube completely.

    Have any of you read the Brain that Changes Itself? There is a part in the there about monkeys and slings. Basically, a monkey would learn not to use an arm when the scientists cut off a nerve that gives feedback to the brain, because they would get discouraged and continually rely on their good arm. In a sense I am not learning how to function in the real world, with real women, because porn is my "good arm". I need to put it into a sling and completely block off Youtube and all sexual imagery. I need about a year, or at the very least, six months for my brain to relearn and rewire itself.

    Tomorrow, I will block Youtube and every single website I've found. I will delete all of my browsing history once everything is blocked. I will get rid of Steam and all of my video games. This is a huge step in achieving my vision and my dreams. I need to learn how to deal with my problems without using porn. My brain needs to rewire this connection: life problems/stress-porn.

    Every time I've been successful in my reboot it was mostly because of dramatic lifestyle changes. This one is going to be the most dramatic one yet. I don't care if I die with boredom, I will find another way to live.
     
  16. RJ

    RJ Guest

    Change of lifestyle is really necessary. Playing videogames and watching youtube mean, that you live a simple carefree life. Of course it's only my opinion ;) I only judge from your last posts.
    I think it because in the real life you don't have the time for these activities. If you are studying, find a job because you have time to have a students job, if you are working, find the ways to have a better salary, carrer etc. to be more happy.
    If you have already accomplished things above, find a gf, more friends, something what do you like to do. I know that for us, porn addicts, is very difficult to find something that, because porn is usually the only thing which interested us. Simply try to fulfill your life and time. It's very oversimplified since you can fap in work :D
     
  17. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    Hey thanks RJ. I have not seen you before, but welcome to my journal. I will check yours in a bit.

    I have goals and dreams that I want to accomplish for myself. I want more of an active social life and a job that will give me enough money to get out of the country. I am also looking to improve my own skills at making music. Basically, I want to turn my creative ideas into a business venture and a career. Playing video games and watching Youtube (the reason why I watch it is because lately I've been using it as a source of softcore material) is getting me nowhere closer to my goals. They both have very little that add to the vision that I have of myself in the future. It's really the first step to making my vision more of a reality. By getting rid of my video games and my access to the little porn/sexual content that I have I am forcing myself to learn, adjust, and adapt to the lifestyle I want to adopt. Is this going to be easy for me? Probably not at first, but it's well worth the effort.

    Porn and video games have been my lifestyle for almost 10 years now.
     
  18. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    Day 2

    Well first day went down alright. Hungover right now.
     
  19. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    Made it to Day 4 and had a 4 hour relapse. K9 has way too many loopholes and I don't believe I can do this with K9 anymore.

    If you're reading this, I need help.
     
  20. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    Day 1

    I think I am over thinking things. The more I am reading about people's problems the more I just get turned off by my own. I am going to take a break and just forget about PMO altogether. I am in no way giving up or throwing in the towel, but I am going to put this addiction behind me. I can't have this consume my life on a day to day basis by reading stuff that I already know, but refuse to put it into practice. Frankly, I am tired of reading the same thing over and over again. I just need to move on with my life as best I can. What I need to realize is that my life is not going to be perfect and I am going to have to deal with it. Spending countless hours ruminating why my life is this or that is not helping me. I think I will be a much happier person now that I will not try to live a perfect life. Now I will actually focus on living, regardless if it's perfect.

    Hopefully in a couple of weeks I will be back to post about making it 2 weeks.
     

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