Struggling for time (200+ days of no PMO)

Discussion in 'Ages 20-24' started by VeniVidiVici, Dec 4, 2012.

  1. gameover

    gameover Age: 26

    Maybe you should stop talking to her for a while? It will only drag out those bad feelings.
     
  2. CleanHands

    CleanHands Guest

    Yeah, talking to her is bound to bring you down if you feel that you haven't moved on yet.
     
  3. VeniVidiVici

    VeniVidiVici New Member

    The way I see it now, is that I'm not gonna be totally over her up until the point someone else comes along. But yeah, trust me, I've thought about cutting contact, but then again I don't want to do so, since I still care for her. I will try however to keep a bit more distance in the near future.
     
  4. ModusVivendi

    ModusVivendi New Member

    LMAO!! Sorry dude, but that's hilarious.

    Anyway, I think you should completely cut contact with the ex. Even contacting her just every now and then is bad, even worse imo because you're letting that linger on and on. I agree with you that only once you find someone else is when that feeling will subside.
     
  5. VeniVidiVici

    VeniVidiVici New Member

    Haha no worries mate, thought it was quite funny myself. Have had it once before as well. It kinda reminded me of an episode of HIMYM where some dude gets a nosebleed every single time he gets a hard on :p
     
  6. ModusVivendi

    ModusVivendi New Member

    LOL I remember that!! Oh man, now you're going to have me quit studying and watch HIMYM episodes.
     
  7. CleanHands

    CleanHands Guest

    HIMYM?
     
  8. rohan

    rohan Member

    How I met your Mother
     
  9. VeniVidiVici

    VeniVidiVici New Member

    Haha, oh well.. :p
     
  10. VeniVidiVici

    VeniVidiVici New Member

    Day 213-225

    Wow haven't written anything in here for a long long time. There is not too much to report anyway, so that is probably why. I've been struggling a little with keeping the MOing to just 1 to 2 times a week, so I should def work on that. Apart from that I spend a lot of time just talking with friends in a quite bar and haven't been out clubbing much lately. Ran into a girl I knew, had a great vibe with her, but she has a long-time boyfriend, so that won't work.

    Had an interview for internships next semester, but found out they went for someone else. Was kinda annoyed by that, but it did re-instate some sort of purpose feel in me, that I can do anything as long as I put my full energy towards it.. Let's see how what goes.
     
  11. gameover

    gameover Age: 26

    Your doing great staying away from porn man, Especially when your still pushing through some issues you have. Don't give in, Your a social guy so i am sure you will meet plenty of girls and one you click with.
     
  12. Barneybarn

    Barneybarn Reboot and rewire!

    Hey Veni,
    long time no seen, how is everything going? Did you manage to reduce your MO sessions? Did you go for an another internship?
    Reboot and rewire,
    Barn
     
  13. rcfergie5

    rcfergie5 Guest

    Been a long time man.. Good to see you're still porn free.
     
  14. VeniVidiVici

    VeniVidiVici New Member

    Day 226-233

    Hey guys, unfortunately I'm still not totally over the MO too much bit, had quite a stressful week with a deadline tomorrow, had trouble sleeping, so just had to rub one out. Sucks, but I'm going full on again tomorrow onward. Didn't get the other internship so that was a bit disappointing, so I decided that I'm just continuing studying next year. About the MOing, I've been more subtle than I used to be a year ago. Trying to process what's going on with my body, and I'm pretty sure that my erections are stronger than before, so that's a great sign and gives me some proof that rebooting works.

    Stuff with girls did happen though, got a text from a girl on Wednesday what I was doing, she showed, got too drunk though, and in the end I had to take her home because of that. Got the guest bed out, but she insisted in sleeping in my bed. Nothing happened though, just some mild cuddling. Day after went to a bar with some friends, a friend of a friend starting hitting on me, made out quick ridiculously in the club, really too much for a club situation. Sex had been a while though so I was kinda into it, she had to leave though, but might see her again sometime soon. The day thereafter went out in a onesie, don't remember much of the night, but that I woke up next to a girl I didn't know in a dorm I had never been to. Pretty sure I didn't have sex, but who knows. Prob meeting her in a few days for a drink.

    Not sure how I always end up in these situations, all I really want is just a girl to chill and date with.
     
  15. rcfergie5

    rcfergie5 Guest

    lol@waking up in bed with a girl you didn't know in a dorm you never been to.

    You're not being hard on yourself on the MOing, also.. So you're really rebooting. Well done.
     
  16. VeniVidiVici

    VeniVidiVici New Member

    Really feel like the most progress I can make right now would be with a girl I trust and like for the medium to long-term.

    And yeah last thing remembering wearing a Pokemon onesie in a bar doing shots, next thing you remember is waking up naked next to a girl on the one side and a Pikachu suit on the other is pretty priceless.. :p
     
  17. Barneybarn

    Barneybarn Reboot and rewire!

    LOL, sound like my uni days! Never had Pikachu, but Shrek (Mardi Gras, don't ask) :D
    How about cutting back alcohol, I know that it is not always as easy at it sounds but sometimes one just needs to know "cool it" for a while.
    Reboot and rewire,
    Barn
     
  18. VeniVidiVici

    VeniVidiVici New Member

    Just one of those guys nights out, don't really care about the alcohol then. Went out today, while being far more sober, some girls were hitting on me, but just couldnt care less. Especially, maybe its just what happens over here, but girls trying to hit on you by all of a sudden trying to grind you from the front, big big turn off for me. Might be interested in that when I was 17, but damn it seems so so desperate.

    Having a big festival for the next two days, all of my friends are planning to do drugs, while I'm probably gonna abstain, let's see how that plays out.
     
  19. VeniVidiVici

    VeniVidiVici New Member

    Day 234-238

    Had a bit of a fall back after I posted the things in my last post, was drunk, kinda horny and a friend of mine posted something softcorish somewhere. Clicked on it, and felt the adrenaline/dopamine pumping, erection within seconds. In a way I am actually happy this happened, since this was far more reactive than it used to be when I watched porn over half a year ago. So in a weird way this was good to see I'm actually making progress.

    Festival was insane, we started pre-gaming each day around 12 then went to the festival around 4 and just went for a mix of beer, water and e until the festival ended. Had a great time and was far more in control on drugs than I used to be (moderation in drinking and drinking heeps of water does help.) On the first day a friend of a friend of mine did it for the first time and I was helping her to chill out and not freak out about anything. She was supposed to crash at her friend's, but because all our phones were dead and we lost track of each other that didn't plan, out so she crashed at mine. One thing led to the other, but I had a really hard time getting aroused (defininetly blaming exhaustion and e/alochol on this one.) Next morning I was actually happy about that though, since it turned out she just started her period, which cost a set of sheets :p
     
  20. VeniVidiVici

    VeniVidiVici New Member

    Day 239-245

    Had some more encounters with girls last week. The girl from the onesie night texted me a week ago wanting to meet up. Was having some beers with some mates, but told her she could stop by after if she wanted to. Wasn't really into her at first, got a 60% erection from cuddling, but that wasn't good enough to put a condom on. So we chilled a bit, but after some time stuff got heated again, got way harder this time, but we both agreed not to actually have sex since I didn't have any spare rubbers. She moved away a couple of days after and she wanted to meet up again, but didn't really have or made time.

    Then last weekend I was at a house party, talked to this girl for a while. She seemed cool, my friends were drunk, so we left together. We went for a late night snack, at least that was what I thought, but she started making hints of maybe having another drink at my place. Stuff happened, but we didn't have full on sex, partially because she didn't want to at first and because I couldn't really care. Got hard a couple of times. Next morning though I kinda got bored by her after I agreed to make her a pancake breakfast and kinda wanted her out. Ever since she keeps sending me messages, saying that I'm so nice and such and such.

    I don't know what it is, it seems like end up with girls I don't really care about in the end. Even though I seem to do something well, since they all want to meet up again, even tough the sex (if at all) is pretty abysmal. That does give me confidence though in my abilities to woe a girl. On the other hand I also feel that I still sort of freak out when I meet some girl I don't know and I'm actually sort of impressed by, might by because of looks or attitude. When it comes to that I am still social, but find it far harder to really flirt most of the time, since I'm lacking a bit of confidence. It might just be that I've been going for easy, rather than quality since basically my last relationship ended in December and that I try to protect myself. Might also be that I feel more uncomfortable about not performing around girls I regard as more interesting and thus chicken out. Or it might just be that I got complacent and maybe even somewhat scared of rejection.

    Plenty of stuff to think about for the next couple of days.
     

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