Recent Content by ruggerdoug

  1. ruggerdoug
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    Well look who is here .... UGH.

    Just dodged a bullet. Earlier today I was tempted but used head space to meditate through it. This afternoon I had a crucial but uncomfortable...
    Post by: ruggerdoug, Jul 14, 2019 at 6:21 PM in forum: Ages 40+
  2. ruggerdoug
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    Well look who is here .... UGH.

    Just back in after backpacking for 4 days ... 4 days 38 miles .. I feel GREAT! (actually tired and sore, too!). Disconnecting like that was...
    Post by: ruggerdoug, Jul 14, 2019 at 10:12 AM in forum: Ages 40+
  3. ruggerdoug
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    Well look who is here .... UGH.

    Drinking has become a P sub for me of sorts. I over drank Sunday night, woke up late Monday morning and then relapsed last night because I was in...
    Post by: ruggerdoug, Jul 9, 2019 in forum: Ages 40+
  4. ruggerdoug
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    Well look who is here .... UGH.

    I had a good night last night. Stayed up way too late working on a new budget application that I downloaded. One of my goals was to be done with...
    Post by: ruggerdoug, Jul 6, 2019 in forum: Ages 40+
  5. ruggerdoug
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    Well look who is here .... UGH.

    @Gilgamesh, I’ve only recently acknowledged it self love is action not a feeling. I’ve been frustrated for years but people said you just need to...
    Post by: ruggerdoug, Jul 6, 2019 in forum: Ages 40+
  6. ruggerdoug
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    Rat in the attic

    @A New Man, enjoyed the out takes from MLK. I'm spending part of my weekend reading others journals to learn from their struggles. I'm a long way...
    Post by: ruggerdoug, Jul 5, 2019 in forum: Ages 40+
  7. ruggerdoug
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    Well look who is here .... UGH.

    @Boxer17, I appreciate your consistent encouragement. It goes a long way as this can be such a lonely fight. Solid first day under my belt (no...
    Post by: ruggerdoug, Jul 5, 2019 in forum: Ages 40+
  8. ruggerdoug
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    Well look who is here .... UGH.

    Good article that explains what I'm going through:...
    Post by: ruggerdoug, Jul 4, 2019 in forum: Ages 40+
  9. ruggerdoug
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    Well look who is here .... UGH.

    I'm at ground zero of my mess now. I've self sabotaged and self medicated for years. I've done it because I felt an emptiness emotionally. I've...
    Post by: ruggerdoug, Jul 2, 2019 in forum: Ages 40+
  10. ruggerdoug
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    Well look who is here .... UGH.

    Bad week. But a good thing happened. The new therapy lodged some ugly stuff loose. I have a better idea now of why I self medicate like I do. I...
    Post by: ruggerdoug, Jun 30, 2019 in forum: Ages 40+
  11. ruggerdoug
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    Well look who is here .... UGH.

    Reset after a slip again last night. Better frame of mind this morning. Day 0 of a 90 day challenge on NOFAP. Four accountability partners in...
    Post by: ruggerdoug, Jun 24, 2019 in forum: Ages 40+
  12. ruggerdoug
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    Well look who is here .... UGH.

    I said earlier today that I'm ready to be ready for dating and a relationship. I desire it but I do not feel desirable. I do not feel like I...
    Post by: ruggerdoug, Jun 23, 2019 in forum: Ages 40+
  13. ruggerdoug
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    Well look who is here .... UGH.

    Checking in. Resetting. Sharing progress. This past week has been a little crazy. Nothing in particular but life has been stressful in total. I...
    Post by: ruggerdoug, Jun 23, 2019 in forum: Ages 40+
  14. ruggerdoug
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    Well look who is here .... UGH.

    Reset on the 21 day challenge. My weak spot is M. I'm nearly in flatline and I am compulsively touching myself. Its been a fight for 3 days solid....
    Post by: ruggerdoug, Jun 19, 2019 in forum: Ages 40+
  15. ruggerdoug
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    Well look who is here .... UGH.

    A lot of my struggle up until now been tied to recovering from the chaos and losses of life and addiction that led up to and included my divorce,...
    Post by: ruggerdoug, Jun 17, 2019 in forum: Ages 40+