PurposeOverPleasure
Last Activity:
Jul 31, 2022
Joined:
Jul 28, 2022
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Gender:
Male
Birthday:
Aug 8, 1987 (Age: 35)

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PurposeOverPleasure

New Member, Male, 35

PurposeOverPleasure was last seen:
Jul 31, 2022
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  • About

    Gender:
    Male
    Birthday:
    Aug 8, 1987 (Age: 35)
    Hi all, I'm 35 (well... almost), and the last two years have been a real epiphany to me... and still is. Surprisingly enough for a guy like me, I realized for the first time how much my identification with unrealized BDSM ideals was affecting me and my very poor sexual life in a negative way.
    That was such an eye-opener. And not the only one I had in this last period regarding other aspects of my life...
    So, where I'm at is that most of my previous self-perceptions have been shattered, as well as many belief systems of mine. As a result, I'm now in the process of rebuilding everything from scratch, trying to become a more balanced individual, wiser, and possibly more successful in life and in relationships.

    I'm a very rational person, and I like/need to elaborate a lot about things that I go through... so I hope to use this platform to do just that, as well as to keep my nofap journal, share thoughts and reflections, and confront myself with other people, which definitely helps and feels good.

    To be fair, I'm not quite trying to recover from pornography addiction itself (I used to feel the need for porn no more than once every 1-2 months) as much as from my perverted BDSM fantasies, which had overrun my head and desires, and that I found out are deeply intertwined with my inability to approach women sexually.
    What I used to consider a part of me, and possibly the access key for the amazing sex I was seeking, I now see it as a sentence of eternal frustration, enslavement to a delusion, and cause of detriment for healthy relationships I could be having instead.

    I've been practicing nofap these last two years with fairly good results (that helped a lot in raising self-awareness... I wasn't expecting that at all), but I still relapse at times, especially when life gets tough. But still during my longest streaks I could perceives glimpses of a better way to live, a better way to approach women and sex, a better self overall.
    Looking forward to get back there to stay.

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